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Dennis Lukes's Avatar
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 11-21-2021, 02:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Now I can see too, that there is no hope.

This user is described as having lost his male member in some kind of noodle soup accident (don't ask, don't tell) - so now we know there's no Salvation for him:

Deuternomy 23:1 He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
Well, unless the noodles were uncooked and particularly jagged, I don't see a problem. If his genital was burned off in boiling soup, that means it wasn't cut off and Jesus might still be willing to forgive him for smearing feces on this forum like the padded walls of his cell.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Unhappy goodbye - 11-21-2021, 03:02 AM

i give up. ban me already. just keep this thread up here for shits and giggles. also, no, i don't have a penis, i'm a female in real life. so...goodbye.



and climate change is real


HOLY [[Cungadero]] DO I FEEL GOOD ...
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 11-21-2021, 03:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Now I can see too, that there is no hope.

This user is described as having lost his male member in some kind of noodle soup accident (don't ask, don't tell) - so now we know there's no Salvation for him:

Deuternomy 23:1 He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Well, unless the noodles were uncooked and particularly jagged, I don't see a problem. If his genital was burned off in boiling soup, that means it wasn't cut off and Jesus might still be willing to forgive him for smearing feces on this forum like the padded walls of his cell.
Gonna ask: Did you lose your penis because you mistook it for one of the noodles or as Bro Lukes suggested, or because you were once again raping a bowl of noodle soup? Jesus knows and He's gonna tell me. Better confess now.

I think we have a genuine catlick here.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: goodbye - 11-21-2021, 03:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesepeopleareChristians View Post
i give up. ban me already. just keep this thread up here for shits and giggles. also, no, i don't have a penis, i'm a female in real life. so...goodbye.



and climate change is real
Pity, not amusement, is the only sincere response here.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
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Default Re: goodbye - 11-21-2021, 03:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesepeopleareChristians View Post
i give up. ban me already. just keep this thread up here for shits and giggles. also, no, i don't have a penis, i'm a female in real life. so...goodbye.
It's a start but are you going to walk away from this mess, like everything else in your life? How about you apologize to Brother Lukes for, as he nicely put it, smearing feces on this forum. Well young lady?


If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.
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Default Re: goodbye - 11-21-2021, 03:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesepeopleareChristians View Post
i give up. ban me already. just keep this thread up here for shits and giggles. also, no, i don't have a penis, i'm a female in real life. so...goodbye.

and climate change is real
Losing your tallywacker does not make you a lady. It just makes you a eunuch.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: goodbye - 11-21-2021, 03:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesepeopleareChristians View Post
i give up. ban me already...
Have you tried sending Zeke some titty pix? That might work.


RIP Republican Party as a force in American Politics for the next decade, minimum
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Cool Re: goodbye - 11-21-2021, 01:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesepeopleareChristians View Post
i give up. ban me already. just keep this thread up here for shits and giggles. also, no, i don't have a penis, i'm a female in real life. so...goodbye.



and climate change is real
A teenaged female autistic libtard attacking her elders while spewing vulgarity and foreign gibberish and pushing the glo-bull warming hoax... I think I know the identity of our erstwhile troll:

Nice try, Greta. We know it's a badge of dishonor for atheists and liberals to receive a banning from this Godly forum, but you failed.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 11-21-2021, 03:10 PM

Maybe part he/part she is leaving. There is a lesson here for future trolls. Don't cross swords with the world's experts on sin. That is what we are here at Landover Baptist. There have been thousands of trolls, each and every one defeated.

Thank you, Jesus, for another victory.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Jesus Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 11-21-2021, 08:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesepeopleareChristians View Post
can't wait to expose you on <<<advertisement for a porn site>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lol : try <<<advertisement for another porn site>>>, you may find nicer and sexier women and men there for your crying of laughter
Dear Miss Whatever-your-name-is: What is the meaning of your very outrageous behavior? exists so that sinners — such as yourself — can learn about the saving Grace of the . But, to mock that Grace is to condemn yourself to an eternity — in blistering-hot :

Ephesians 2:8,9:
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of :
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

John 3:36 "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of abideth on him."

So, before you continue down that pathway to eternal damnation, you might like to apologize to for being so rude, and for delivering insults to servants — here, at , before it is too late!







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Jesus Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 11-22-2021, 09:17 PM

Welcome friend! God has a special message, just for YOU! Just ask me more and I can get my BFF to bring you into our Circle of Love™.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 11-22-2021, 11:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Welcome friend! God has a special message, just for YOU! Just ask me more and I can get my BFF to bring you into our Circle of Love™.
You're a little late to the party Brother Hutchins, but you didn't miss much.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Dr. Anthony J. Toole Dr. Anthony J. Toole is offline
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 11-23-2021, 04:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
You're a little late to the party Brother Hutchins, but you didn't miss much.
Persistence is a virtue when it comes to capturing a woman's heart. Just ask the ladies. When I was younger I would wait outside the nightclubs for hours and they would literally stumble into my van. I welcome our young guest to reach out to me privately - I have a full head of heir, clean shaven and did I mention I'm a doctor. Mr. Hutchins is a fine choice too.


If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.
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Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 11-28-2021, 09:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesepeopleareChristians View Post
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO [[Turn the tables]] GUYS???? I AM JUST A [[Number 1 rated salesman]] HERE! PLEASE STOP [[Killing]] ME

I AM ALL VERY [[Sorry]]. GO TO [[Hyperlink blocked]] FOR MORE INFO ON THE [[specil]] DEAL WE HAVE GOING!!!
I have looked trough your posts and found little to suggest that you have much in the way of advice to offer Christians.

It may be that you are beset by some sort of demon: Have you been through an exorcism before?


Do "the voices" tell you to do things? Can you use a doll to show us where the man put his hands?





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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ima speedrun ima speedrun is offline
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Smile Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 01-03-2022, 03:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
I have looked trough your posts and found little to suggest that you have much in the way of advice to offer Christians.

It may be that you are beset by some sort of demon: Have you been through an exorcism before?


Do "the voices" tell you to do things? Can you use a doll to show us where the man put his hands?
oh boy, another dumbass XD
also im not christian im an atheist so i never had an exorcism before
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 01-07-2022, 09:35 AM

I’m sorry I missed this one but wow!


-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 01-07-2022, 01:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ima speedrun View Post
oh boy, another dumbass XD
also im not christian im an atheist so i never had an exorcism before


You must have evolved from a monkey, because your grammar is awful, hunny.


Psalms 38:5
My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness.
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Dennis Lukes's Avatar
Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
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Default Re: YOU ARE ALL ARRESTED FOR BEING TOO CHRISTIAN - 01-08-2022, 03:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen View Post
You must have evolved from a monkey, because your grammar is awful, hunny.
Jen, that particular fool mostly contained its trolling in a single thread and then departed this forum, never to return. You could learn something from such an example.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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