[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by emochildofgod

i legitimately can't tell if this is a website that is pretending to be radical christians, or if people are this crazy.

Dear Miss Emo: To you, I do extend a most warm and gracious We are so pleased that you have found your way to , in our blessed little part of the great and vast interwebs galaxy.

I see that you have some issues that are causing you some personal discomfort. However, I note that you have received many excellent, helpful responses from servants of the , here at .

As for your most unfortunate bewilderment regarding this website, I must inform you that our beliefs are based solely on the glorious teachings within the blessed . If in doubt, please, do open your copy of the , and find these truths for yourself. And, in case you do not own a copy of this wondrous book, I am pleased to provide an online link to a free copy, for your benefit and enrichment:

https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/

Naturally, you will want to begin at the very beginning (the Book of Genesis), and then continue your studies right through to the very last page in Revelation. I'm sure that your fascination will only increase with each chapter, and I am confident that you will find all of the answers that you need, Dear. And, we so look forward to fellowship with you during your time with us here, at .

[WWJDnow]

Originally Posted by emochildofgod

hello- i'm doing a report on this website for my community paper.
can you answer a few of these questions?

Sure. But I hope you're not one of those liberal fake news reporters like they have at the New York times or CNN or Fox News.

pro choice or pro life? elaborate?

127% pro-life. We only believe in killing children that God wants us to kill, as set forth in the Holy Bible.

do you have any prejudices? do you believe in supremacy of one people or race?

We are prejudiced against sinners, Satan, and demons. We believe in the supremacy of True Christians™, because, in the Bible, God told us we're better than everyone else.

We abhor racism. We think that people of all non-white races deserve a chance at redemption, which is why we have a negro-to-white conversion program.

do you accept members of the lgbtq community? what would you do if your child was gay?

We've never had a gay person at Landover, but, if we did, the Bible tells us to shun sinners, so we would. As for a gay child, we'd try gay conversion therapy, and then try to exorcise the demon causing the perverted behavior. If that didn't work, the Apostle Paul did say that homosexuals are worthy of death.

dem or rep?

The church does not take a stance on secular politics. However, by a curious coincidence, everyone here is a staunch Republican, not a demoncrat. #MAGA

what are your thoughts on modesty?

The Bible instructs us to act modestly. Like our role model, President Donald J. Trump, we're the best at it! That's why our pastors' private jets and limousines and mansions and yachts do not bear any markings that would identify them as affiliated with the church.

what are your thoughts on gender and race equality?

As long as women obey their husbands without question and shut up in church, as the Bible requires, we believe in complete equality of the sexes. We support racial equality, and, if non-white races ever become our equals, we will welcome them with open arms to the community of civilized peoples.

do you think the election has false results?

There was massive fraud in the election, and we do not understand why the courts won't let Rudy Giuliani present all of the evidence in open court in his big, beautiful lawsuits. However, unlike some other patriots, we don't support President Trump declaring martial law and holding a new election. We just think that the President should declare martial law and do a recount, counting the votes from minorities as 3/5 of a vote to adjust for the fraud.

I must say, these were excellent questions. If you have any follow-up questions, or just want to get Bible quotes to back up any of these answers, we're at your service.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

We are prejudiced against sinners, Satan, and demons.

Is that "prejudice" though, Brother? I questioned this child's use of the word earlier, but (unsurprisingly) received no reply. The dictionary describes prejudice as a preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience. For reason we have the Bible (KJV 1611) and for actual experience we have our personal observations.

I consider these questions frivolous and am entirely unconvinced by the claim to be writing a "report". Also, the use of the word gender is always suspect. True Christians™ are not afraid to call a sex a sex.

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by emochildofgod

Laws:
gay panic defensebreyonna taylor case
george floyd case
custody battles are more likely to go in the favor of a woman- because of the patriarchy, and that harms men.
the fact that in some places a woman can be arrested for seeking an abortion.


i am a moderate christian, i'm only here to do a report. you are radical christians. i get that.
please, if you can- give me an answer on YOUR beliefs. not the church's beliefs.

Read the Bible. We do and we follow it. So simple.
We have no beliefs, we have the inerrant Word of God, Christ Almighty.

Reading and following the Bible is not radical. It is simplistic


Answer this, why do you hate God?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Social Construct

That map reminds me of the one where they predict the sea level rising...

So if the sea (or the equivalent in nukes) were to obliterate China and India then all the concerns about human overpopulation would disappear overnight.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

With all due respect to Brother Jeb, there's not 4 types of Democrats, there's just 2: Journalists and Lawyers.

Journalists at least know how to capitalize their letters, If nothing else. And notice the one and only thing that got a serious response? Right, the bit about laws.

BUSTED!

So thanks for providing yet more proof that libcucks are all useless eaters, middlemen and parasites. You never come across one who actually produces anything. These Champaign-socialists think that their snob-juice just bottles itself, and their overpriced artisan bread just bakes itself, even without anyone in the factory praying for that to happen.

[emochildofgod]

hello fellow christians! i want <<<....Blaspheme Removed - Moderator...>>>

[emochildofgod]

<<<...Potty Mouth Removed - Moderator...>>>

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Oh dear, either someone has been hacked, or someone really turns out to be exactly the phony Christian I accused them of being.

[emochildofgod]

Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond

Oh dear, either someone has been hacked, or someone really turns out to be exactly the phony Christian I accused them of being.

that's me! i'm the phony christian! all hail our emo lords Satan!

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond

Oh dear, either someone has been hacked, or someone really turns out to be exactly the phony Christian I accused them of being.

Indeed, Brother. Also, I would like to point out that this one seems to be filled with hate and intolerance to beliefs different from her own even more than your average liberal false Christian.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.

With all due respect to Brother Jeb, there's not 4 types of Democrats, there's just 2: Journalists and Lawyers.

And their children. Their spoiled, musically untravelled, tantrum-throwing children.

[emochildofgod]

Originally Posted by Basilissa

Indeed, Brother. Also, I would like to point out that this one seems to be filled with hate and intolerance to beliefs different from her own even more than your average liberal false Christian.

I was really just saying that for the sake of comedy. I don't mind if you're christian- I think its good for a lot of people. But I find that this particular website is filled with hate for people who aren't white, people who are gay, and it's just really misogynistic. Live your life how you want to. I really don't care. But the second you start hating on people because they're different, or because sky daddy thinks they're bad- then we have a problem. Everyone had valid beliefs, but ones that revolve around hate aren't beliefs- they're hate speech. I don't care whether you're christian, muslim, agnostic, pagan, wiccan, heathen, atheist, jewish, catholic- let's all get along. I kinda just came on here to see what makes intolerant people tick. I don't believe in heaven or - and you can say that's where I'm going. I don't care. So really- have a wonderful day, night, wherever you are- have a good time.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Basilissa

Indeed, Brother. Also, I would like to point out that this one seems to be filled with hate and intolerance to beliefs different from her own even more than your average liberal false Christian.

Credit where it's due: she made it to double figures before losing her [dung].

[emochildofgod]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Credit where it's due: she made it to double figures before losing her shit.

my friend had me post that- sorry my guy. and i'll have you know- im actually 20 years old- so if you could take that underage badge off that'd be great.

[handmaiden]

I really didn't expect much from this one, so I can't claim to be disappointed. Once in awhile it would be nice if the trolls would step up their game and actually--you know--discuss the Bible.


It would be such a refreshing change from their attempts to lecture us, offend us or--the most desperate ploy of all--shock us.


Get real, people! I've read the WHOLE BIBLE! There isn't that much left in this weary little world that can shock me.

[emochildofgod]

Originally Posted by handmaiden

I really didn't expect much from this one, so I can't claim to be disappointed. Once in awhile it would be nice if the trolls would step up their game and actually--you know--discuss the Bible.


It would be such a refreshing change from their attempts to lecture us, offend us or--the most desperate ploy of all--shock us.


Get real, people! I've read the WHOLE BIBLE! There isn't that much left in this weary little world that can shock me.

i'd love to discuss the bible with you- also how many trolls do you get here?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

my friend had me post that- sorry my guy.

Your friend? Your guy? Are you schizo?

and i'll have you know- im actually 20 years old-

Double figures refers to your post count not number of brain cells.

so if you could take that underage badge off that'd be great.

I'm not wearing an underage badge and if even if I were I wouldn't.

[emochildofgod]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Your friend? Your guy? Are you schizo?

Double figures refers to your post count not number of brain cells.

I'm not wearing an underage badge and if even if I were I wouldn't.

chile- anyways so

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by emochildofgod

i'd love to discuss the bible with you...

It would not be a discussion. It would be education. That, she is still willing to do.

It's the kicking and screaming involved (that you've already shown a knack for) that she has no time for.

...also how many trolls do you get here?

Generic or mediocre trolls: tens of thousands.

Quality trolls: one.