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| The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED! |
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Poems about the Gospels -
01-27-2009, 01:24 AM
Jesus came to fulfill EVERYTHING in the Old Testament
He spoke in parables to make sure people went to hell! Jesus was so wonderful, he even had two lineages And even though the people He grew up with did not believe He can still send evil spirits into pigs! Jesus will destroy your unbelievers, even worst than Sodom and Gomorrah! He'll destroy all the people He made sure would never know the truth! God made sure he blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts, if He hadn't they would have believed! And afterwards God will punish them for eternity, since they didn't believe! God will reward you if you leave your wife and families to follow Him! Thank God only the foolish and ignorant listen to Him! Never those people with whom He grew up with! If you believe and are baptised, you won't be damned for all time! You have to hate your entire family, and yourself! Jesus will give you a big reward when you abandon your children! Whatever men like, you can be sure God hates! And then the Jews killed Him, and we can blame all their descendants for that crime! So as Jesus taught, slay all those who do not obey God! Everyone will hate us, and kill us, but we'll never be harmed! And he'll return, before this generation passes away! 
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-27-2009, 01:48 AM
Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.
✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝  Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve #ChristianLivesMatter 
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(#3)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-27-2009, 02:26 AM
A Poem Based on Job
Satan walks up and down the earth, before going to the meeting in Heaven God lets Satan punish the best person, and leaves all the sinners be! To punish Job, God kills all of his children! And every square inch of his body is covered with boils! But Job won't curse God, because he knows if he did, he'd die instantaneously! Instead he curses the day he was born And accuses God of cursing Him for no reason! God will laugh at the trial of the innocent! Amen!
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-27-2009, 02:27 AM
AMEN!! The Holy Ghost is strong in you today!!
 Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8) Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-27-2009, 03:01 AM
A Poem Based On Proverbs
Write truth upon thine heart! Always have fun with your wife's breasts! Make love with her all night long! If you make a problem in your house, you'll inherit nothing. Only the simple believe EVERY word And a soft answer turneth away wrath. Gray hair is glorious! Don't take pleasure in your enemies falling! Don't seek revenge! Don't boast about yourself! Give lots of alcohol to poor people, so they'll forget their problems! God laughs at your misfortunes, mocks your fears, and ignores your cries for help! Watch out for those strange, brawling, angry, contentious, adulterous, odious women! Foolish women drag innocent men into hell! Beautiful women without discretion are like pigs with jewelery! Beat your children! The bruises and scrapes will take away the evil! The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous! Don't give your slaves lectures! Beat them as if they're your own! If you do not respect your parents, birds will eat your eyes! Amen!
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(#6)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-27-2009, 03:09 AM
A Poem Based On Esther
Queen Vashti did not want to get naked in front of her husband's friends So he stripped her of the crown! The King made sure all wives were obedient! All the beautiful virgins were brought before the King, one to be the new Queen! And Esther won! To take away her feminine dirt, for twelve months she is purified! She gets two men executed! And the Hamam and his ten sons, too! Amen!
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(#7)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-27-2009, 04:21 AM
That's about the most beautiful poem about Queen Vashti that I've ever read.
Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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#DEVIL=LOVE CHRISTIAN=PERVERT -
11-08-2021, 04:07 AM
 HAIL SATAN
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Re: #DEVIL=LOVE CHRISTIAN=PERVERT -
11-08-2021, 04:37 AM
Quote:
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(#10)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-29-2009, 04:43 AM
Quote:
It's as if the Lord were directly channeling His mighty words through YOU, Himself, to sooth these troubled times! Bless you, and your inspirational gift!
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(#11)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-29-2009, 06:21 AM
A Poem Based On 1 Chronicles
Shame be on Uzza, who dared touch the ark, rather than let it fall to the ground. Thank you God for killing him! Praise be to David, who tortured the citizens of the cities of Ammon with saws, harrows of iron, and axes! Shame on David, though, for trying to take a census! Praise to God, for justly punishing this crime by killing 70,000 of His Chosen People! Glory to God, who repented of this act afterward! Amen!
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(#12)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-29-2009, 06:31 AM
A Poem Based On Lamentations
Oh Jerusalem, you are like a woman who sighs and turns backwards, filthiness is in your skirts! The adversary puts his hand on her pleasant things! God squishes mighty men, young men, and virgins, as if they were grapes! Jerusalem is as disgusting as a menstruating woman! Mercilessly God kills everyone, young and old, and forces mothers to eat their children! To accomplish His fury on Israel He starves children to death and makes their mothers eat their corpses! Amen!
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(#13)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-29-2009, 07:26 AM
A Poem Based On 2 Kings
Oh good ol' Elijah proved himself a man of God, when he burned at the stake 102 men, Elisha did the same when he made his servant and his descendants to be lepers for all time! Elisha could even make heavy things float! And God answered Elisha's prayers, he blinded all his enemies! The plague God sent even got mother's boiling their kids to eat! He sends a famine on the people that lasts seven years! Whoever urinates against a wall God shall destroy! Be not like Jezebel ladies, do not try to gain authority, for you will be thrown off a wall and fed to dogs! All 70 of Ahab's sons were killed, and their heads placed in baskets! Remember Jehu, who killed everyone in Samaria to show his zeal for the Lord! Great was the reward Jehu received from God! Be not like evil King Azariah, who God smote with leprosy! Be like King Ahaz, who at age 36 had a son aged 25! Be not like the Samarians, who knew not the manner of the God of the land, for they were devoured by lions! Be not like they who eat their own dung and drink their own piss! Be not, or else you will wake up and realize you are dead, like the 185,000 the Angel of the Lord killed! Be like mighty Isaiah, who by the grace of God moved the sun back ten degrees! Praise to the Lord, who will bring such evil on Jerusalem and Judah, that if you heard about it, your ears would tingle!
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(#14)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
01-29-2009, 07:40 AM
A Poem Based On Daniel
When wicked King Nebuchadnezzar saw the light, he ordered all blasphemers be cut to pieces and live in dung holes! Glory! And Daniel beheld the whole world from a top a tree! Nebuchadnezzar eats grass, grows hair like eagle feathers and nails like bird claws! And a detached hand writes on a wall! The day is saved when the King orders Daniel's accusers, and their families, be thrown to the lions! Hallelujah!
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(#15)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
02-02-2009, 09:32 PM
A Poem Based On 2 Samuel
Oh Blessed Book That God did inspire to lessen my work! No poem need I toil over for thee For I have already written poems on Chronicles And it's basically the same thing. AMEN!
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(#16)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
02-02-2009, 09:41 PM
Can you write something about Jezebel, please?
It be shameful, I know, but I've always found her rather interesting.
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
02-02-2009, 09:46 PM
Quote:
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(#18)
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Re: A Poem about the Gospels -
02-02-2009, 09:44 PM
A Poem Based On Joel
The Day of the Lord cometh, it is nigh at hand, wrote Joel some 2,400 years ago. God shall make Israel pay for the damage caused by the locusts He sent, and all shall praise the name of the Lord! The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood! God will sell your sons and daughters! Turn your farming equipment into weapons! Amen!
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(#19)
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Re: Poems about the Gospels -
05-22-2010, 04:44 PM
I know it is a bit homerish but I submit a haiku to add to the poetry.
He said: it’s written man lives not on bread alone but on words from God matthew 4-4 
 1 Chronicles 16:15Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant. Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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(#20)
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Re: Poems about the Gospels -
01-04-2020, 05:30 PM
Quote:
Joel 1:5 And wail, all you drinkers of wine, Because of the new wine, For it has been cut off from your mouth. Ahem, here goes: Addicted to misery The sweet sting of sadness White wine I'm not 100% about the syllable count - I find it a bit homer-ish getting into the details like that.
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