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Esther B. Esther B. is offline
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Default I'm Engaged (again)! - 05-22-2020, 09:09 PM

Mark 11:24, Matthew 7:7

My prayers have been answered and I'm engaged! After many prayers from my family, several other people, and myself, my suitor Joseph proposed (with my father's permission, obviously) to me and of course, I said yes. Unfortunately, we don't have a wedding date picked out yet because things aren't fully opened up yet. With that said, my father has demanded that the wedding happen before the end of summer.


I have already started looking at curtains and linens for the house that Joseph's grandparents gifted us as a wedding present and my dear future husband has been building furniture for us. He's such a generous and masculine man and I can't wait to marry him and start producing little Soldiers for Christ. I'm sure I'll be humbly requesting a name change in the near future.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Default Re: I'm Engaged (again)! - 05-22-2020, 09:19 PM

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Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
I'm sure I'll be humbly requesting a name change in the near future.
This is most inconvenient. You have little idea how difficult it is to change members' names - camels, rich men, eyes and needles are relatively simple compared to fiddling with JesOS 10. It would have been far better if your fiancé had had the initial "B".


That said, which "Joseph" is it? There are 394 Josephs of marriageable age in the congregation.





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Default Re: I'm Engaged (again)! - 05-22-2020, 09:27 PM

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Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
That said, which "Joseph" is it? There are 394 Josephs of marriageable age in the congregation.
If indeed he is a True Christian™ member of OUR congregation. I seem to recall that his (multiple) predecessors were not. And nor is dear Esther.

I think, in the circumstances, that this thread might be moved to the Auntie Flo's forum for women. I can't see that this sort of thing is of interest to the men.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: I'm Engaged (again)! - 05-23-2020, 05:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
Mark 11:24, Matthew 7:7

My prayers have been answered and I'm engaged! After many prayers from my family, several other people, and myself, my suitor Joseph proposed (with my father's permission, obviously) to me and of course, I said yes. Unfortunately, we don't have a wedding date picked out yet because things aren't fully opened up yet. With that said, my father has demanded that the wedding happen before the end of summer.


I have already started looking at curtains and linens for the house that Joseph's grandparents gifted us as a wedding present and my dear future husband has been building furniture for us. He's such a generous and masculine man and I can't wait to marry him and start producing little Soldiers for Christ. I'm sure I'll be humbly requesting a name change in the near future.
A fair warning Sister Esther about bragging about such a thing before producing results. Especially bragging in front of men. Don’t forget Matthew 6:1-34 Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. God doesn’t take kindly to grandstanders. With that being said, I will offer you a congratulations only AFTER you are married and that congratulations will only go to your Christian husband and only after he produces at least 6 children. I hope you appreciate my understanding.
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Love Jesus Re: I'm Engaged (again)! - 05-23-2020, 06:31 PM

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Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
My prayers have been answered and I'm engaged! Unfortunately, we don't have a wedding date picked out yet because things aren't fully opened up yet. With that said, my father has demanded that the wedding happen before the end of summer.
Oh, dear Sister Esther: What pleasant news this is to receive! I am quite sure that you are most excited about your upcoming wedding day (whenever that shall be.) Your Joseph sounds like a strapping, fine man, but are you quite sure that he is the man for you? You know, here at , we do strive to be as careful as possible about such affairs, you know. I so hope you won't think of me as an "old, wet blanket"; but, on one hand, I feel that it is my duty to advise you to exercise a bit of caution here. And, on the other hand, well, it's just common knowledge that you aren't getting any younger, either.

Feel free to ask for helpful, plentiful assistance from any of the ladies of as your needs dictate, Dear. We do care: on that, you can depend and never worry.


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Default Re: I'm Engaged (again)! - 05-23-2020, 06:42 PM

Well, as the Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:9 . . . it is better to marry than to burn.

If you can't quite manage to contain yourself--even with the strengthening presence of The Lord Jesus Christ in your life--than I guess that it is just as well that you found a man to help you manage where you feel that Jesus has clearly failed.


Did you even give the method of dousing your loins in ice water a fair chance, though?


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: I'm Engaged (again)! - 05-23-2020, 11:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
My prayers have been answered and I'm engaged!
Can you please pass on my condolences to your fiancé? Do you have his permission to be on God's Internet? Most woman are too feeble minded to handle cars, guns or the Internet.


Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Esther B. Esther B. is offline
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Default Re: I'm Engaged (again)! - 05-24-2020, 03:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
This is most inconvenient. You have little idea how difficult it is to change members' names - camels, rich men, eyes and needles are relatively simple compared to fiddling with JesOS 10. It would have been far better if your fiancé had had the initial "B".


That said, which "Joseph" is it? There are 394 Josephs of marriageable age in the congregation.
Alas, Joseph is not a member of Freehold's congregation. His great-grandfather (Joseph Edwards Sr.) and grandfather (Joseph Jr.) were residents of Freehold and True Christians™ until Joseph Jr. and his young wife were kicked out before the birth of Joseph III, who raised his son (my Joseph) to be a Godly, Baptist man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, dear Sister Esther: What pleasant news this is to receive! I am quite sure that you are most excited about your upcoming wedding day (whenever that shall be.) Your Joseph sounds like a strapping, fine man, but are you quite sure that he is the man for you? You know, here at , we do strive to be as careful as possible about such affairs, you know. I so hope you won't think of me as an "old, wet blanket"; but, on one hand, I feel that it is my duty to advise you to exercise a bit of caution here. And, on the other hand, well, it's just common knowledge that you aren't getting any younger, either.

Feel free to ask for helpful, plentiful assistance from any of the ladies of as your needs dictate, Dear. We do care: on that, you can depend and never worry.

My dear sister Isabella, your concern warms my heart. My father has thoroughly investigated Joseph and his family before he gave him permission to marry me and we both feel like he is indeed the right man for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Well, as the Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:9 . . . it is better to marry than to burn.

If you can't quite manage to contain yourself--even with the strengthening presence of The Lord Jesus Christ in your life--than I guess that it is just as well that you found a man to help you manage where you feel that Jesus has clearly failed.


Did you even give the method of dousing your loins in ice water a fair chance, though?
Sister Handmaiden, your words have also warmed my heart. I can assure you that I have no, pardon my language, urges, and dousing my loins in ice water has never been a necessity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Can you please pass on my condolences to your fiancé? Do you have his permission to be on God's Internet? Most woman are too feeble minded to handle cars, guns or the Internet.

Of course I will. Thankfully, my dear fiance has already given me permission to stay on these forums after we are wed.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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