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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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Colin Cameron's Avatar
Colin Cameron Colin Cameron is offline
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Default Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge - 08-29-2010, 01:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Ask and ye shall receive. I have granted you two badges which I felt were most appropriate for you.
Many thanks Rev, much appreciated.

However, I feel I deserve some more please?
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge - 08-30-2010, 06:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Cameron View Post
I've also stopped masturbating on a regular basis, too...
So does masturbating on an irregular basis earn him anything?



"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." George Orwell
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Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
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Default Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge - 08-30-2010, 09:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Cameron View Post
Many thanks Rev, much appreciated.

However, I feel I deserve some more please?
Something along these lines?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
So does masturbating on an irregular basis earn him anything?
Less-hairy palms and only tunnel vision?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge - 09-01-2010, 08:18 PM

There is a yearly gathering of homers on the South coast of England in a place called Brighton were they gather for a week and spread HIV around the place.
I read somewhere about a park used by the diseased ridden homers for pitching tents on the outskirts of the town called "the camp camp".

I thought a visit to this camp with my KJV Bible could serve as good practice in my search for divine salvation.

Alas my readings fell on deaf ears and not one homer realised that my teachings could help them perhaps avoid eternal damnation.

Not to be put off I decided to help them to dismantle there camping equipment so I drove over the top of there tents with my 4 x 4.

Its certainly not my fault they are late risers.

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.


Exod.22

" 1. [17] If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins."
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HTannor HTannor is offline
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Default Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge - 09-01-2010, 08:50 PM

To The Disciple: a wonderful first person account of a homer encounter.

With your quick thinking and forceful delivery of your message, I believe you are on the fast track to becoming a True Christian™


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Default Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge - 09-01-2010, 08:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Disciple View Post
There is a yearly gathering of homers on the South coast of England in a place called Brighton were they gather for a week and spread HIV around the place.
I read somewhere about a park used by the diseased ridden homers for pitching tents on the outskirts of the town called "the camp camp".

I thought a visit to this camp with my KJV Bible could serve as good practice in my search for divine salvation.

Alas my readings fell on deaf ears and not one homer realised that my teachings could help them perhaps avoid eternal damnation.

Not to be put off I decided to help them to dismantle there camping equipment so I drove over the top of there tents with my 4 x 4.

Its certainly not my fault they are late risers.

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Just to be safe, you might want to have a doctor check your engine oil for the AIDS virus.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester is offline
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Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Father Maurice Lester is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge - 09-02-2010, 04:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberYahweh View Post
I've never had the opportunity to lay with womankind...for some irreducibly complex reason, the fervent passion and veracity of my sermon hasn't awarded me the attentions of any womankind...
Relax son. I have two words for you.



Bible Thumping Blonde.



Call her up and take her on a "date"... she's stopped more hard rubber than the rink boards at Madison Square Gardens and has been waiting about ten years for her boyfriend to actually make an honest woman of her.

Don't be shy, her number is 1-800-IPUT-OUT.



Bless you, my sad sack sectarian,
Father Mo







.


Vatican emissary to these Banjo and Britney Baptwits

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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge - 09-02-2010, 04:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
Relax son. I have two words for you.



Bible Thumping Blonde.



Call her up and take her on a "date"... she's stopped more hard rubber than the rink boards at Madison Square Gardens and has been waiting about ten years for her boyfriend to actually make an honest woman of her.

Don't be shy, her number is 1-800-IPUT-OUT.



Bless you, my sad sack sectarian,
Father Mo







.
Hey!! That's my fiancee you're talking about there, "father!"


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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