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Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
04-10-2009, 04:05 AM
Soccer Is Ruining America
And we have no one to blame but ourselves.
STEPHEN H. WEBB
Soccer is running America into the ground, and there is very little anyone can do about it. Social critics have long observed that we live in a therapeutic society that treats young people as if they can do no wrong. Every kid is a winner, and nobody is ever left behind, no matter how many times they watch the ball going the other way. Whether the dumbing down of America or soccer came first is hard to say, but soccer is clearly an important means by which American energy, drive and competitiveness are being undermined to the point of no return.
What other game, to put it bluntly, is so boring to watch? (Bowling and golf come to mind, but the sound of crashing pins and the sight of the well-attired strolling on perfectly kept greens are at least inherently pleasurable activities.) The linear, two-dimensional action of soccer is like the rocking of a boat but without any storm and while the boat has not even left the dock. Think of two posses pursuing their prey in opposite directions without any bullets in their guns. Soccer is the fluoridation of the American sporting scene.
For those who think I jest, let me put forth four points, which is more points than most fans will see in a week of games—and more points than most soccer players have scored since their pee-wee days.
1) Any sport that limits you to using your feet, with the occasional bang of the head, has something very wrong with it. Indeed, soccer is a liberal's dream of tragedy: It creates an egalitarian playing field by rigorously enforcing a uniform disability. Anthropologists commonly define man according to his use of hands. We have the thumb, an opposable digit that God gave us to distinguish us from animals that walk on all fours. The thumb lets us do things like throw baseballs and fold our hands in prayer. We can even talk with our hands. Have you ever seen a deaf person trying to talk with his feet? When you are really angry and acting like an animal, you kick out with your feet. Only fools punch a wall with their hands. The Iraqi who threw his shoes at President Bush was following his primordial instincts. Showing someone your feet, or sticking your shoes in someone's face, is the ultimate sign of disrespect. Do kids ever say, "Trick or Treat, smell my hands"? Did Jesus wash his disciples' hands at the Last Supper? No, hands are divine (they are one of the body parts most frequently attributed to God), while feet are in need of redemption. In all the portraits of God's wrath, never once is he pictured as wanting to step on us or kick us; he does not stoop that low.
2) Sporting should be about breaking kids down before you start building them up. Take baseball, for example. When I was a kid, baseball was the most popular sport precisely because it was so demanding. Even its language was intimidating, with bases, bats, strikes and outs. Striding up to the plate gave each of us a chance to act like we were starring in a Western movie, and tapping the bat to the plate gave us our first experience with inventing self-indulgent personal rituals. The boy chosen to be the pitcher was inevitably the first kid on the team to reach puberty, and he threw a hard ball right at you.
Thus, you had to face the fear of disfigurement as well as the statistical probability of striking out. The spectacle of your failure was so public that it was like having all of your friends invited to your home to watch your dad forcing you to eat your vegetables. We also spent a lot of time in the outfield chanting, "Hey batter batter!" as if we were Buddhist monks on steroids. Our chanting was compensatory behavior, a way of making the time go by, which is surely why at soccer games today it is the parents who do all of the yelling.
3) Everyone knows that soccer is a foreign invasion, but few people know exactly what is wrong with that. More than having to do with its origin, soccer is a European sport because it is all about death and despair. Americans would never invent a sport where the better you get the less you score. Even the way most games end, in sudden death, suggests something of an old-fashioned duel. How could anyone enjoy a game where so much energy results in so little advantage, and which typically ends with a penalty kick out, as if it is the audience that needs to be put out of its misery? Shootouts are such an anticlimax to the game and are so unpredictable that the teams might as well flip a coin to see who wins—indeed, they might as well flip the coin before the game, and not play at all.
4) And then there is the question of sex. I know my daughter will kick me when she reads this, but soccer is a game for girls. Girls are too smart to waste an entire day playing baseball, and they do not have the bloodlust for football. Soccer penalizes shoving and burns countless calories, and the margins of victory are almost always too narrow to afford any gloating. As a display of nearly death-defying stamina, soccer mimics the paradigmatic feminine experience of childbirth more than the masculine business of destroying your opponent with insurmountable power.
Let me conclude on a note of despair appropriate to my topic. There is no way to run away from soccer, if only because it is a sport all about running. It is as relentless as it is easy, and it is as tiring to play as it is tedious to watch. The real tragedy is that soccer is a foreign invasion, but it is not a plot to overthrow America. For those inclined toward paranoia, it would be easy to blame soccer's success on the political left, which, after all, worked for years to bring European decadence and despair to America. The left tried to make existentialism, Marxism, poststructuralism, and deconstructionism fashionable in order to weaken the clarity, pragmatism and drive of American culture. What the left could not accomplish through these intellectual fads, one might suspect, they are trying to accomplish through sport.
Yet this suspicion would be mistaken. Soccer is of foreign origin, that is certainly true, but its promotion and implementation are thoroughly domestic. Soccer is a self-inflicted wound. Americans have nobody to blame but themselves. Conservative suburban families, the backbone of America, have turned to soccer in droves. Baseball is too intimidating, football too brutal, and basketball takes too much time to develop the required skills. American parents in the past several decades are overworked and exhausted, but their children are overweight and neglected. Soccer is the perfect antidote to television and video games. It forces kids to run and run, and everyone can play their role, no matter how minor or irrelevant to the game. Soccer and television are the peanut butter and jelly of parenting.
I should know. I am an overworked teacher, with books to read and books to write, and before I put in a video for the kids to watch while I work in the evenings, they need to have spent some of their energy. Otherwise, they want to play with me! Last year all three of my kids were on three different soccer teams at the same time. My daughter is on a traveling team, and she is quite good. I had to sign a form that said, among other things, I would not do anything embarrassing to her or the team during the game. I told the coach I could not sign it. She was perplexed and worried. "Why not," she asked? "Are you one of those parents who yells at their kids? "Not at all," I replied, "I read books on the sidelines during the game, and this embarrasses my daughter to no end." That is my one way of protesting the rise of this pitiful sport. Nonetheless, I must say that my kids and I come home from a soccer game a very happy family.
Mr. Webb is a professor of religion and philosophy at Wabash College. His recent books include "American Providence" and "Taking Religion to School."
Did you read the entire thing? If not, go back and read it again.
Here are some parts I want to point out: Everyone knows that soccer is a foreign invasion
After all, we would not voluntarily allow into America something that the rest of the world thinks is good. I'm glad he didn't insult my intelligence by trying to prove his statement! ...soccer is a game for girls. Girls are too smart to waste an entire day playing baseball, and they do not have the bloodlust for football. Soccer penalizes shoving and burns countless calories, and the margins of victory are almost always too narrow to afford any gloating. As a display of nearly death-defying stamina, soccer mimics the paradigmatic feminine experience of childbirth more than the masculine business of destroying your opponent with insurmountable power.
Here is a man who understands the proper role of male and female. Boys should be taught to shove, gloat, and lust for blood, destruction, brute force and raw power. Girls should be tought that they exist to endure stuff. "I read books on the sidelines during the game, and this embarrasses my daughter to no end." That is my one way of protesting the rise of this pitiful sport.
A father's job is be visibly uninterested, and to publically embarrass your daughter. Even if she's playing a girl's game. Tough love, you know.
After all, do you want your daughter to end up looking like THIS:
OR THIS:
OR THIS:
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
04-10-2009, 01:14 PM
Plus they're all queers. Soccer is one of the gayest of sports.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
04-10-2009, 01:50 PM
Football ruins entire countries. We Brits should know, we invented the heathen sport. Now look, gays run around in the street, we let anyone into the country who asks us nicely, and worst still, it's the birth ground of modern atheist ideas. Now, if for a national sport we played something with a bit more grit to it, I'm sure the Lord would look more favourably upon us, and smite all the scum. Such as it is, God simply can't stand all the pansying about that comes with football.
I like to use the following video to demonstrate a more favourable national sport, and it's superiority over this limp wristed fad.
BEHOLD!!!
THE BUS TO DAMNATION!
May Jesus guide this Bus off a cliff and STRAIGHT TO HELL!
Last edited by Nobar King; 04-10-2009 at 02:11 PM.
Reason: There are no U.S. British.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
04-11-2009, 01:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
Soccer Is Ruining America
And we have no one to blame but ourselves.
STEPHEN H. WEBB
The real tragedy is that soccer is a foreign invasion, but it is not a plot to overthrow America. For those inclined toward paranoia, it would be easy to blame soccer's success on the political left, which, after all, worked for years to bring European decadence and despair to America. The left tried to make existentialism, Marxism, poststructuralism, and deconstructionism fashionable in order to weaken the clarity, pragmatism and drive of American culture. What the left could not accomplish through these intellectual fads, one might suspect, they are trying to accomplish through sport.
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Stephen H. Webb is even wiser than he realises. Did you know about the vicious rivalry that exists based around the fact that Milwall casuals tend to be existentialists, whereas the Chelsea Headhunters favour poststructuralism? It makes the false-Christian-vs-false-Christian rivalry of Celtic and Rangers look like a little girls' pillow fight.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-08-2009, 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
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Its Football, not soccer. Association Football.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-08-2009, 05:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by soundv27
Its Football, not soccer. Association Football.
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Were do you get that nonsense? Football requires the hands be used to carry the ball. There are no feet in football.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-08-2009, 06:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by soundv27
Its Football, not soccer. Association Football.
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Now boy, that's soccer. Soccer is gay. THIS is football it is NOT gay.
In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-08-2009, 06:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus
Now boy, that's soccer. Soccer is gay. THIS is football it is NOT gay.
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No thats just an awful version of rugby
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-08-2009, 06:13 PM
It's obvious some here are still unconvinced about what's gay and what is not gay.
Gay is on the left. NOT gay is on the right.
In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-08-2009, 09:33 PM
Who wants to watch a bunch of pasta-slurping guidos running up and down a field kicking a ball around? No thanks. I prefer real athletes like the men of NASCAR.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-08-2009, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley
Who wants to watch a bunch of pasta-slurping guidos running up and down a field kicking a ball around? No thanks. I prefer real athletes like the men of NASCAR.
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Agreed! Here's more. Gay Formula 1 on the left, not gay NASCAR on the right.
In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-08-2009, 11:29 PM
A Lesbian attempts to mount an opponent in Gay Field Hockey:
An accidental collision of two manly men in Real Hockey.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-09-2009, 12:04 AM
What is 'Formula 1', anyway? Is that like Alberto Vo5?
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-09-2009, 12:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
What is 'Formula 1', anyway? Is that like Alberto Vo5?
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Formula 1 is some sort of gay racing they do in Europe. Mindlessly boring. The cars look like American Indy cars to the naked eye but they are vastly inferior.
Perhaps we need a new thread where we can show in vivid detail what is gay and what is not gay. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Two pictures would be worth at least two thousand words. Four thousand if we choose to take the square. We could illustrate in an incontrovertible juxtaposition exactly what is gay, and what is not gay. Rev. Rodimer's illustration of the gayness of field hockey as opposed to the manliness of ice hockey could not have been described in mere words. Explicit pictures containing nudity would, of course, be prohibited.
Perhaps the posts already made in this vein on this thread could be moved to the new thread. Your thoughts?
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-09-2009, 12:38 AM
Quote:
Perhaps we need a new thread where we can show in vivid detail what is gay and what is not gay. They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
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I think that thread already exists. It's one of these:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/searc...archid=1097789
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-09-2009, 12:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
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A couple of those could work, but I was thinking of a new thread called perhaps "Gay vs Not Gay Illustrated" or something of that nature. A place where photographic or artistic evidence would clearly illustrate gayness in stark contrast to non gayness, with an appropriate, unmistakable thread name.
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-09-2009, 01:30 AM
Pretty much every thread here turns out like that. Did you read anything that was worthy of reviewing?
How about, "How can I tell if this is gay?", and users can submit images and the members can rate the images accordingly? We could have some obvious lead in questions, like a Dale Earnhardt car or a crossbow. Those would be easy to answer to get the ball rolling. I'm sure there will be lots of questionable ones, too.
How's that?
Actually, we could use an entire subforum for that. Start a thread. Post a picture. Everyone under let's you know how gay your picture is.
If it's all in one thread the thread might get unmanageable.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-09-2009, 03:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Pretty much every thread here turns out like that. Did you read anything that was worthy of reviewing?
How about, "How can I tell if this is gay?", and users can submit images and the members can rate the images accordingly? We could have some obvious lead in questions, like a Dale Earnhardt car or a crossbow. Those would be easy to answer to get the ball rolling. I'm sure there will be lots of questionable ones, too.
How's that?
Actually, we could use an entire subforum for that. Start a thread. Post a picture. Everyone under let's you know how gay your picture is.
If it's all in one thread the thread might get unmanageable.
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You're the expert in this area Nobar. I was looking for a place to post more visual evidence of gayness, in a clean manner of course. Your suggestion is good!
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-09-2009, 06:54 PM
Besides the homersexural implications, not using your hands or arms in a sport is just plain un-American, and downright un-natural!!
I think God was trying to send that very message when He created the tiny arms on tyrannosaurus rex some 6000 years ago. Without having upper body dexterity, these poor clumsy beasts were unable to swim during The Great Flood, and ultimately became extinct.
Last edited by H. Montague Worthington; 06-10-2009 at 07:40 PM.
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Re: Wall Street Journal says "Soccer is Ruining America" -
06-09-2009, 10:05 PM
Personally I find it aggravating that these Euro-trash homosexuals are trying to hop on the popularity bandwagon enjoyed by American football by calling it by a similar-sounding name, "Futbol". Isn't there some copyright infringement there that we could sue for?
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