General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
|
|
Ford Motor Company Problems -
09-15-2006, 06:46 AM
I'm sure many of you have noticed that fewer folks are driving Fords lately. Liberal secular news sources tell us it's because of the gas thirsty vehicles they build, such as the F350 Super Duty Truck with optional Triton V-10 engine. However, our Baptist auto industry experts have identified the true problem; Ford insists on offering health benefits to same sex couples (this is a polite way to say sausage stuffers and carpet cleaners). Anyway, I contacted secretary of fate, Condoleeeza Rice and she has promised to add Ford Motor Company to her list of terrorist organizations if they don't stop catering to homosexuals. Your thoughts?
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
|
|
True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 104
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IOWA Ministry: Promise Enforcers, H.A.T.E. Ministry
|
|
09-15-2006, 07:03 AM
Ford has been making some pretty homer cars lately, doesn't surprise me at all.
What are we supposed to do with this?
Got Jesus?
|
|
Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
09-15-2006, 02:18 PM
Ford is in the vanguard of the militant homer agenda. For details, click here, but only if you are strong in both faith and stomach. Of course, you won't read any of that in the liberal MSM, since they are more committed to destroying the family than to telling the Truth™.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
|
|
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
|
|
09-15-2006, 05:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou
Ford is in the vanguard of the militant homer agenda. For details, click here, but only if you are strong in both faith and stomach. Of course, you won't read any of that in the liberal MSM, since they are more committed to destroying the family than to telling the Truth™.
|
What a glorious job the American Family Association is doing! It's good Christians like the AFA that have earned the reputation all real Christians deserve. Elmer and I have decided to lead a prayer vigil, asking our Lord Jesus Christ to smite that homer Ford Motor Company! From now on, we will be buying Christlers only.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
|
|
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
09-15-2006, 06:54 PM
I didn't even know this.. Horrible.
I even happen to rent property to a car dealer company, I will have to call them and demand that they pull all Ford cars from their inventory, or I will have to evict them alltogether.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 09-15-2006 at 06:56 PM.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
09-18-2006, 04:39 AM
Dear Sister,
Whatever her other admirable qualities, I'm not sure I'd count on dear Secretary Rice to materially advance your fight against lesbianism. Until she and Harriet Myers settle down with godly husbands, they remain on the suspect list.
Yours in Him,
bab
|
|
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
|
|
09-18-2006, 04:43 AM
Even worse than being single, I heard a Rumour about the mill that Secretary Rice might be cavorting with a Canadian! Such news shocked and horrified me!
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
09-18-2006, 12:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonFish85
Even worse than being single, I heard a Rumour about the mill that Secretary Rice might be cavorting with a Canadian! Such news shocked and horrified me!
|
Impossible. All canadian men are homers, and Secretary Rice, being a nigress, is undoubtedly expecting a more....substantial male to settle down with.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|