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Piece of cake Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 02:57 AM

You all seemed to have forgot my birthday! I can't believe it. No biggie. I was trying to recall a Bible verse that explicitly (or vaguely, either way) states one cannot wear the American flag on their birthday.

I took the gamble! Celebrate my birthday and my freedom in one go - kill two birds with one stone?


<<< Porn Removed - Admin >>>

Last edited by James Hutchins; 01-27-2019 at 03:45 PM. Reason: Porniographic Image
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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 05:15 AM

Happy Belated Birthday, my dear Sister in Christ! My apologies for not noticing your birthday, I was helping my mom clean the house in preparation for a visit from John's parents. I hope you had a wonderful day!


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Exclamation It is your birthday. - 01-26-2019, 05:49 AM

Another year closer to your judgment. My birthday gift to you is several pertinent scriptural verses: Exodus 28:42, 1 Timothy 2:9, Philippians 3:19, Proverbs 23:2, Proverbs 23:20-21, Romans 13:14, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. Enjoy.


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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 10:29 AM

Oh the nerve!

For the record, the woman pictured in the above photo is NOT ME. (I'm sure any simpleton could tell the difference).

That is in fact, a photo of my estranged daughter, Adelaide! She must have hacked my account (I haven't been registered for rights to use of JesOS yet to thwart such breaches). Let me tell you, my wayward daughter's sole goal in life is to make me miserable and undermine my standing with the church!


She knew it was my birthday and wanted to leave me with this surprise knowing full well by the time I woke from my beauty sleep it would be too late to edit my post!


I wonder if Our Lord is testing me, having claimed so many of my spawn, but leaving Adelaide unscathed for this long! - The Real Dolleen Moans
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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 05:06 PM

Hi Miss DolliMoans! I am so happy to hear that you are well and still alive. One thing is bothering me about that picture and I don’t mean to embarrass you and I am sure you know what I am about to say. The carpet looks like it could use a good vacuuming. It distracted me so much that I didn’t notice Adelaide was in the picture. Pa always would punish me if the carpets in my home weren’t cleaned. Do you want to borrow the rug shampooer I got for Christmas?


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Angry Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 05:15 PM

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Originally Posted by DolliMoans View Post
Oh the nerve!

For the record, the woman pictured in the above photo is NOT ME. (I'm sure any simpleton could tell the difference).

That is in fact, a photo of my estranged daughter, Adelaide! She must have hacked my account (I haven't been registered for rights to use of JesOS yet to thwart such breaches)
Better watch your mouth, girl. This is a True Christian and a man you're talking to. That's clearly a picture of you back from your Jew-produced trailer park pornstar days. It doesn't seem to be your daughter compared to the picture you've already posted of her:




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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 05:22 PM

What do you call it when you have blueballs and then, without any satisfaction, you just...Don't?


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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 08:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Better watch your mouth, girl. This is a True Christian and a man you're talking to. That's clearly a picture of you back from your Jew-produced trailer park pornstar days. It doesn't seem to be your daughter compared to the picture you've already posted of her:


She's since put on pounds, Mr. Lukes. She was bestowed lipo-suction money in Mr. Moans' Will, but she blew it all on a rhinoplasty and toothjob, hence, yes she would look a little bit different!

Say, if you are at all interested, I could snail mail you the discount coupon for the lipo surgeon, since she didn't use it.
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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 08:37 PM

I must say I just took your first post at face value. It's difficult to believe that that's not you, but maybe it's just that the family resemblance is really strong.

Anyway, Happy Birthday for yesterday. I think cake would be inappropriate, just in case that is you!


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-26-2019, 08:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DolliMoans View Post
Say, if you are at all interested, I could snail mail you the discount coupon for the lipo surgeon, since she didn't use it.
I would prefer a handwritten apology letter to make up for your earlier sass.


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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-27-2019, 12:30 AM

My goodness, what an ugly girl! Does she take after you and your late husband?


Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Angry Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-27-2019, 12:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
My goodness, what an ugly girl! Does she take after you and your late husband?
Show some compassion for this methed-out trailer trash. She's trying, at least, to walk in God's light. She does need an attitude adjustment though. Did you read what she said to me? The Widow Moans sorely needs a sock in the chops and has no man to give it to her.


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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-27-2019, 11:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Show some compassion for this methed-out trailer trash. She's trying, at least, to walk in God's light. She does need an attitude adjustment though. Did you read what she said to me? The Widow Moans sorely needs a sock in the chops and has no man to give it to her.

Mr. Lukes, I believe you are certainly in the right and are entitled to the handwritten apology you wished for. It was my carelessness for allowing a despised daughter have ease of access to my personal account information leading to this altercation. I hope this will suffice, sir.

*Type-written too if my lady cursive is illegible

For dear Mr. Dennis Lukes
Understandably , you are very upset and concerned by what I wrote, and thus, I keep reminding myself I am just a silly female.

You are a soulful, observant Christian man and not a simpleton!

Under Our Lord's watchful gaze, and Christ's Love,

Dolli Sue-Helen Moans

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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-27-2019, 01:39 PM

That's a big manly thumb at the bottom, Dolli. (You can crop these things) Is it really a photo of your Adelaide's thumb?
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Default Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-27-2019, 04:53 PM

1. Whatever the word is in the first line, it's not "Lukes."

2. Why do you start every line with a capital letter? Did you outsource writing of the letter to a little child?
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Thumbs up Re: Happy Birthday to Me - 01-27-2019, 05:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DolliMoans View Post
Mr. Lukes, I believe you are certainly in the right and are entitled to the handwritten apology you wished for. It was my carelessness for allowing a despised daughter have ease of access to my personal account information leading to this altercation. I hope this will suffice, sir.

*Type-written too if my lady cursive is illegible

For dear Mr. Dennis Lukes
Understandably , you are very upset and concerned by what I wrote, and thus, I keep reminding myself I am just a silly female.

You are a soulful, observant Christian man and not a simpleton!

Under Our Lord's watchful gaze, and Christ's Love,

Dolli Sue-Helen Moans
Being a merciful Christian (Matthew 5:7), I accept your apology. Because you have seen the error of your ways, I will include you in one of my prayers today (James 5:16). However, you should take care that you do not forget your unaccaptable conduct in this thread. Do not let it happen again.


Also, while penmanship (penwomanship?) is not of particular relevance to an online forum, you should also take heed of Sister Basilissa's learned admonitions (1 Corinthians 14:40).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
1. Whatever the word is in the first line, it's not "Lukes."

2. Why do you start every line with a capital letter? Did you outsource writing of the letter to a little child?


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