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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: Greetings! - 12-03-2006, 12:28 AM

Welcome P-son. You sound like a fine young man with a bright future. Please read through these threads carefully, and feel free to ask any questions you might have about The Holy KJV 1611 Bible or God's will. And remember, Jesus is watching your every move. Glory!

God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned.--2 Th.2:11-12


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Poetic Peter's Avatar
Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
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Default Re: Greetings! - 12-03-2006, 05:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Brother, please do not listen to the insane Speaking in Tongues of this "tommy." Pastor's gonna get him some day!

(Take heart: Although you are also listed as "Unsaved Trash" it is only because you are new here. It's not likely to stick, as it so Righteously has with "tommy!")
Talk about queering the deal by speaking of the devil

He just got made a member!

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Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default Re: Greetings! - 12-03-2006, 08:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
He just got made a member!
Blood in.....blood out.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
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Default 12-03-2006, 09:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

Blood in.....blood out.










so, tommy

how's it doin?

payin' da rent lately?






omerta
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OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
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Default Re: Greetings! - 12-04-2006, 09:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Talk about queering the deal by speaking of the devil

He just got made a member!

HA! I tchore Mees PEDDAL can make JOOOSE a MEMMMber if joooose geeev her some clayyyy . . . Meeester teeeny-tchoo-tchoo . . . JEJEJEJEJEJEJE

ROSA!

Damn that woman. I really must keep her away from the computer. She doesn't realize how inappropriate her ramblings are.

Perhaps introducing my ruler to her knuckles will help it sink in!

My apologies to anyone offended by Rosa's comments, particularly the delicate and pure-hearted Miss Petal.
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Enobarbus's Avatar
Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Default Re: Greetings! - 12-05-2006, 07:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Brother, please do not listen to the insane Speaking in Tongues of this "tommy." Pastor's gonna get him some day!

(Take heart: Although you are also listed as "Unsaved Trash" it is only because you are new here. It's not likely to stick, as it so Righteously has with "tommy!")
Indeed Sister, it seems that that the Lord has already heard your prayer.


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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SUV SUV is offline
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Default Re: Greetings! - 12-05-2006, 02:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enobarbus View Post
Indeed Sister, it seems that that the Lord has already heard your prayer.
He did? He DID? He really did??? He didn't just go and ignore this one too, because I'm a dumb woman or something?

Praise! GLOWry! Hose-Annas!!!!!
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Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Default Re: Greetings! - 12-05-2006, 04:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
Who said anything about Dutch?
"Dutch" was a nickname for Ronald Reagan, who seemed at first glance like such a nice True Christian™ and even managed to fool some of the less spiritually discerning. The truth, however, is that he did not keep his wife in Godly Christian subjection, as Scripture commands, but instead let her bewitch him with astrology. Indeed, even when he did try to pass for Christian, he gave himself away by quoting that fluffy-bunny liberal "Christian," C. S. Lewis (and may Jesus forgive me for even typing that name). Is it any wonder that Jesus in His infinite love chose to smite Reagan with senility (or, as the politically correct thought police insist we call it, Alzheimer's)?


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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