Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > PRAYER REQUESTS
Reload this Page Answered Prayers: Glory to Jesus!
PRAYER REQUESTS Please check regularly

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,581
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Prayer Answered Prayers: Glory to Jesus! - 10-31-2015, 01:28 PM

GLORY!



Photograph© by Brother Back Against Wall.

Brethren and Sisters,

We often ask Jesus to fulfill our needs and requests; and those requests are highly visible here on God's Favorite Forum. However, we also constantly receive answers for our prayers. Jesus provides; He gives us what we ask.

John 14:13-14
And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do [it].


It is always useful for atheist sinners to see that not only are our prayers answered but also to realize how detailed and versatile the prayer tool is in times of need. I will start by thanking Jesus Christ our Lord and Sweet Son of God our Savior for some items that occurred within the last 24 hours because I prayed for them!
  1. I asked Jesus to smite disgusting vile sinners, to show them His Love and Wrath so that they would Repent and return to the bosom of Jesus. And it happened. Jesus caused an explosion in a brothel nightclub in Papist-Orthodox Romania with dozens killed (lost souls as predestined by Jesus) or injured (shown the Love of Jesus and a chance to Repent; Hebrews 12:16).
  2. I asked Jesus for my Mother NOT to call me yesterday and she didn't (she is 80+ but a harlot and I have not forgiven her the Harry Potter books she tried to give my boys last Christmas ; Luke 14:26).
  3. I prayed for a regular, painless bowel movement after my morning coffee for a change and Jesus provided. My usually lengthy visit to the restroom was so short that I hardly had time to read my favorite restroom verses from the KJV book on the restroom shelf (Deuteronomy 23, especially Deuteronomy 23:13).

I challenge you, Brethren, to share with the sinners of this world the most glorious, most ordinary and most mind blowing prayers of yours that Jesus has answered. While we thank Him constantly in our prayers, it is time we showed also the repulsive unbelievers that Faith is worth it!

Mark 11:24
Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive [them], and ye shall have [them].


Praise God! Praise Jesus! Praise the Holy Spirit! When I want to help the world with the love of Jesus, He provides (in Romania). When I want to avoid the repulsive secular world and ask Jesus for help, He provides (my mother). When I am in need and anguish, I turn to Jesus, and He provides (my bowels). These are miracles. The world needs to know!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Back against wall's Avatar
Back against wall Back against wall is offline
Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Touched by Jesus Kangi Honorary Ex-Negro/Negress/Nigglet Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Ex-negro True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Kirk Cameron Fan Club Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Tell her once Mission to Australia True Christian Artist Trump of GOD Anti-sodomy Truck Stop Ministry Member Pancake Dinner Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Mission to Messico Hands Off True Christian Hotrodder Color wheel 2015 Witch Hunt Award The Ant One Year/1000 posts Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Stamp of Approval God's chosen ones Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Answered Prayers: Glory to Jesus! - 11-16-2015, 11:33 AM

Praise Jesus Brother Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology Elmer G. White, Sir.

Today a Miracle from God above. Last week I prayed for forgiveness for not showing respect toward an Elderly Christian Gentleman who took my car space and waved his stick at me in anger when I called him a Blind Old Flatulence. Well it turned out this man was a member of a local Baptist Church.
Today, thank you Jesus, I was able to attend this mans funeral. I was driving past the Church and I noticed an easel out the front with a large photograph on it that I immediately identified as the Blind Old Flatulence Man.
On went my breaks near missing two of his relatives that I almost surely nearly sent to their graves, who in turn waved their sticks at me with rambled accompanying words and the stench of flatulence.
Ino the Church I ran, and in i ran with gusto screaming "PRAISE JESUS, GLORIOUS GOD, YOU TOOK THIS MAN!" What a privilege for him. The Church was silent with sorrow and I suspect gratitude for my loving words. I made my amends.

God works in mysterious ways Brother Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology Elmer G. White

Praise Jesus!

Brother BAW



Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.


Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,581
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Answered Prayers: Glory to Jesus! - 11-16-2015, 11:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall View Post
Praise Jesus Brother Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology Elmer G. White, Sir.

Today a Miracle from God above. Last week I prayed for forgiveness for not showing respect toward an Elderly Christian Gentleman who took my car space and waved his stick at me in anger when I called him a Blind Old Flatulence. Well it turned out this man was a member of a local Baptist Church.
Today, thank you Jesus, I was able to attend this mans funeral. I was driving past the Church and I noticed an easel out the front with a large photograph on it that I immediately identified as the Blind Old Flatulence Man.
On went my breaks near missing two of his relatives that I almost surely nearly sent to their graves, who in turn waved their sticks at me with rambled accompanying words and the stench of flatulence.
Ino the Church I ran, and in i ran with gusto screaming "PRAISE JESUS, GLORIOUS GOD, YOU TOOK THIS MAN!" What a privilege for him. The Church was silent with sorrow and I suspect gratitude for my loving words. I made my amends.

God works in mysterious ways Brother Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology Elmer G. White

Praise Jesus!

Brother BAW

Great news, Brother, and let us thank Jesus Christ for granting you what you asked!

1 John 5:14-15
And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:


Your request must have been according to His Will; otherwise He wouldn't have heard you!



May I also congratulate you for your exemplary use of rational logic. The sequential time-frame between of your request and the outcome of the funeral show the causality of answered prayers beyond any reasonable doubt! I have also some relatives who have become annoying atheists and I think it is time Jesus made an intervention. Your story gives me unprecedented HOPE!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Back against wall's Avatar
Back against wall Back against wall is offline
Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Touched by Jesus Kangi Honorary Ex-Negro/Negress/Nigglet Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Ex-negro True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Kirk Cameron Fan Club Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Tell her once Mission to Australia True Christian Artist Trump of GOD Anti-sodomy Truck Stop Ministry Member Pancake Dinner Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Mission to Messico Hands Off True Christian Hotrodder Color wheel 2015 Witch Hunt Award The Ant One Year/1000 posts Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Stamp of Approval God's chosen ones Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Answered Prayers: Glory to Jesus! - 11-16-2015, 12:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post

May I also congratulate you for your exemplary use of rational logic. The sequential time-frame between of your request and the outcome of the funeral show the causality of answered prayers beyond any reasonable doubt! I have also some relatives who have become annoying atheists and I think it is time Jesus made an intervention. Your story gives me unprecedented HOPE!
My friend and Brother I will also pray that Jesus intervenes, tonight in my prayers

Praise Jesus!!


Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.


Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 23,243
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Answered Prayers: Glory to Jesus! - 07-09-2016, 09:31 PM

I've been busy all day, monitoring my children's privacy, keeping up with discipline needs, doing chores myself, all the while thinking of ways to pray without repeating myself (Matthew 6:7), when I realize I haven't eaten all day. I'm ravenous!

So I thank Jesus for a healthy stomach and digestive system in general, and then pray for wisdom in discerning what to eat. My husband had some friends over yesterday evening for a late night Bible study and prayer group, and they ate me out of house and home.

To make a long story short, I just found some deli meat in the back of the fridge the men never found. I can have lunch! Thank you Jesus for hiding the salami for my pleasure!


\0/


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
answered prayers, bowel movement, breakfast, hate thy mother, jesus, miracles, prayer, romania

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved