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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 08-10-2011, 01:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by linisfarne View Post
This is no joke,they do exist.demons can enter the body in many ways and manifest themselves in the form of odour sound and colour.
At last, a believer! Welcome. Your observations about demons are exactly those within my book, "On the Manifestations of the Fiend of Hell and his Minions and a Short Guide to Magnets." (Landover Press, 1982, Vol 3, p334)

I quote:
"On the third day of the standard diet, three of the subjects, N, R and F, complained of intestinal pains. All were seen to become red in the face, move uncomfortably in their chairs before the sound of demons was heard. The sound resembled noises between a crackling popping sound and a demonic hiss followed by the noise of a badly blown trumpet. Shortly afterwards, the observers noted a foul stench within the room, which they described as between bad eggs and sulfur.

The subjects were then taken to be immersed in cold water, beaten and have Bible verses read to them. During this time, their voices, hoarse with screaming became as the voices of Devils and called out many profanities.

Notwithstanding the protests of the Evil one, enemas were applied and the rectal areas cleaned with a bottle brush."

I think there is little doubt amongst serious Biblical Scientists that demons exist.





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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 08-10-2011, 11:59 PM

It's not that I don't agree with you on most of these points, but I can't help but wonder what Harry Potter, video games, masturbating, Toyota, Democrats, Celine Dion, Barry Manilow and Canadians have to do with the daily duties. And from the time the Bible was written, I am 100% certain you will have a very hard time finding anything such as Harry Potter, Video games, Toyota, Liberals, musicians and Canada. Of course, witchcraft, violence and the liberty of certain other religions is against the Bible, but still...
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 08-20-2011, 07:42 PM

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Originally Posted by Xepho123 View Post
you know i just wanted to make fun of how gay this is its incredible how gay most of the men are when they at the same time hates homosexuals and apparently wants to kill all of them. by the way demons in the rectum? its the most stupid thing i have ever heard i actually laughed a bit its just some random excuse to piffle some dudes ass. (excuse my language.)
I agree lol. Instead of blaming demons blame the burrito you ate for lunch XD
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 08-20-2011, 09:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeze View Post
I agree lol. Instead of blaming demons blame the burrito you ate for lunch XD
You think that scapegoating a burrito will excuse anal sex? What bizarre version of the Bible have you been reading? Burritos neither chew the cud nor do they have cloven hoofs. Moreover, they are made by filthy Mexican'ts. How can a burrito ever excuse sin?

Besides, Jesus Christ made the ultimate temporary sacrifice for our sins.


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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 08-21-2011, 07:33 AM

This is so stupid. I dont want some priest touching my anus!!!
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 08-21-2011, 07:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Questioning View Post
This is so stupid. I dont want some priest touching my anus!!!
I have never quoted ANYTHING other than the KJV Bible here, but in your case I'll make an exception:

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

"William" Shakespeare, Macbeth Act 2 Scene 3

Is there anything you want to get off your chest, friend?

(James 5:16) "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

P.S. We are not child-raping catlicks: there are no "priests" here.


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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 08-21-2011, 10:03 AM

What are the chances of someone feeling the need to join a forum and go through all the palaver that entails just to tell us he doesn't want a priest touching his anus?

The very fact he said priest means he's probably some lonely catholic pining for his own priest who has been arrested for fornicating with the children in his congregation.



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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 04-26-2012, 02:17 AM

I was once told that any time you partake in sodomy, your being sodomized by a demon. Is their any truth to that? Does that plant colonic demons in me? Where can I learn more about the demons inhabiting my rectum?


A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast; But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. Proverbs 12:10
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 04-26-2012, 02:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jpagan View Post
I was once told that any time you partake in sodomy, your being sodomized by a demon. Is their any truth to that? Does that plant colonic demons in me? Where can I learn more about the demons inhabiting my rectum?
Use the "search" function, witch. One thread that will guide you can be found HERE.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 04-26-2012, 08:04 AM

In this part of the world there are health food commercials that talk about "inner well-being". I'm pretty sure this is code for rectal demons.


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