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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 07:32 PM

Portway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).



All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.

God is fiction you insane creeps.
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 07:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by defart View Post
Portway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).



All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.

God is fiction you insane creeps.
You think this is an invention of the mind? If True Christian™ Proctologists were not doing their job, the secular industry would take over.
http://pinkboard.co.uk

Friends, never go to a proctologist outside of Landover.
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 07:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by defart View Post
All the demons are in your people's heads.
Didn't you see the title of the thread - Your head may be up your colon, our heads aren't.
Quote:
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist.
And that, my friend, is why Hell is full to overflowing
Quote:
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
God is love.
Quote:
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations?
He does! He offers Salvation™
Quote:
He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
To be frank, I would have difficulty helping you, as you are an atheist.




Ec:7:16: Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 10:10 PM

I own a cat... Does that put demons in my rectum?
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nighthawk View Post
I own a cat... Does that put demons in my rectum?
it depends....is it a ginger cat
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 10:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryPie View Post
it depends....is it a ginger cat
No, she's a calico named Lady Barbossa. She has a black eye patch, so she needed a pirate name.
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 10:59 PM

I'm a forced atheist. As I mentioned somewhere else in this forum, I was raised to be a good christian. muhaha
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 11:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by defart View Post
Portway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).



All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.

God is fiction you insane creeps.
I don't care how you spell fart in your country you foreign pervert, a butt addict is a butt addict is a BUTT ADDICT no matter how you slice it!

And you're the crazy one if you think God, the Devil, and demons don't exist. I feel sorry for you actually, since you don't have to believe in Hell for Jesus to send you there for all eternity!




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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-09-2011, 11:27 PM

And how are those rectal demons cleaned out if I may ask?
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-10-2011, 12:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugarfree View Post
And how are those rectal demons cleaned out if I may ask?
I normally do not resort to such obvious tactics, but a post as lazy as this one deserves exactly this sort of response:

READ THE THREAD


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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-10-2011, 04:17 AM

In one of our recent corporate takeovers, my company recently became the majority shareholder in a well-known plumbing repair business. Although our original intent was simply to monopolize yet another essential service (and thus raise prices), this thread has certainly given me some good ideas on how to expand into new markets.

I see no reason why we couldn't offer personalized home service. You can get your drains cleaned and rectal demons exorcised in just one session. We plan to start distributing 2-for-1 coupons next month.


Clean drains, relieve constipation, exorcise demons. We do it all!

Our specially trained experts now attend classes in plumbing, proctology and exorcism. When it comes to such sensitive matters, it's best to call in the experts. Don't be tempted to hire some illegal Mexican with a garden hose - we're talking about your health here, not to mention your soul. Why take chances?


Pastor Ted Haggard, a satisfied customer.

For an extra fee, devout Christians can have the procedure performed by none other than Joe-the-Plumber himself. He's had more experience with rectal servicing that practically anyone in the business.

Of course, if you're one of those do-it-yourself types, we offer both sales and rentals of the necessary equipment.


Individual responsibility healthcare:
Why not do it yourself?


I'd recommend an annual demon-cleaning at least twice a year. It's the Christian thing to do.


Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred
CEO, The Uranus Corporation
Put your faith in Uranus!


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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-10-2011, 09:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
We do not perform exorcism. That is a catholic occupation.
Get those mary worshipers in and it wouldn't just be Demons they wanted from your Rectum.

If you are a skirt wearing nancy boy from North England then there is your problem.
Demons just love men in skirts.
Yes they do. It takes a real man, a kilted Highland warrior, to kick them out on his own.
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-12-2011, 12:33 PM

How dare you judge people in that way? Isn't it only God who is in charge of who goes to hell and who does not? Your narrow-minded way of thinking is so ridiculous - If this is not a joke, then have fun cleaning people's asses, it doesn't help anything.
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-12-2011, 12:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Market Fred View Post
In one of our recent corporate takeovers, my company recently became the majority shareholder in a well-known plumbing repair business. Although our original intent was simply to monopolize yet another essential service (and thus raise prices), this thread has certainly given me some good ideas on how to expand into new markets.

I see no reason why we couldn't offer personalized home service. You can get your drains cleaned and rectal demons exorcised in just one session. We plan to start distributing 2-for-1 coupons next month.


Clean drains, relieve constipation, exorcise demons. We do it all!

Our specially trained experts now attend classes in plumbing, proctology and exorcism. When it comes to such sensitive matters, it's best to call in the experts. Don't be tempted to hire some illegal Mexican with a garden hose - we're talking about your health here, not to mention your soul. Why take chances?


Pastor Ted Haggard, a satisfied customer.

For an extra fee, devout Christians can have the procedure performed by none other than Joe-the-Plumber himself. He's had more experience with rectal servicing that practically anyone in the business.

Of course, if you're one of those do-it-yourself types, we offer both sales and rentals of the necessary equipment.


Individual responsibility healthcare:
Why not do it yourself?

I'd recommend an annual demon-cleaning at least twice a year. It's the Christian thing to do.
Brother! It's just beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes just looking at it.

It sure beats using a pair of gauntlets and a hook thing on the end of a stick.
Where do I sign?

I'm sure this Heaven-sent device is going to be perfect for the removal of Cooter demons too.

GLORY!!!!


JUDGEMENT DAY


"I'll Be Back!!"
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-16-2011, 10:47 AM

Can i kill them by shitting them out?
Posted via Mobile Device
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-16-2011, 03:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SDSDSDS View Post
Can i kill them by shitting them out?
Posted via Mobile Device
No.

They will be with you for life. Unless you and turn for Jesus to heal you.

YIC
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-20-2011, 06:35 PM

do zionist jews go to hell?

...wouldn't that mean your god is in hell too?


your solution to the jewish problem
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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-20-2011, 08:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jorgen View Post
do zionist jews go to hell?

...wouldn't that mean your god is in hell too?
God is omnipresent. Pedophile false prophets like Muhammed are in Hell and nowhere else.


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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-20-2011, 09:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jorgen View Post
do zionist jews go to hell?
Yes. Duh!

Quote:
...wouldn't that mean your god is in hell too?
No. Duh!

Mark 16:16 "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned."


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Default Re: Colonic Demons? - 06-21-2011, 02:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Amen Brother Eddie! I can't tell you how many hours I have spent cleaning demons out of nubile young men's rectums! From the boy brothels of Bombay to the sin salons of Singapore, I've called upon the Holy Ghost to keep my resolve ROCK HARD in the saddle. It's a tough, sweaty job but someone's got to do it.

Shout GLORY!
I LOVE YOU Landover Baptist! You saved me from the fiery pits of hell!!!
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