[SUV]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

I once stole a great big load out of Nobar King's dryer and, after sniffing off all the Manly Christian scent possible, I took it to sell on the street corner for Crack and Lottery Tickets.

Jesus Christmas.......she admits to it!!!!!

PS By the way, has anyone found out yet who this "Sex Ed" might be? Probably it's that horrible Teddy Kennedy, who is "poised like a drunken walrus on the edge of the Armageddon"

GoD! This has now become double disgusting! Excuse me while I go have a few slices of Tipsy Cake in order to restore my Spirits

[Don the Baptist]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

Aren't you TC's compelled to marry and make babies for Jesus?

If I was married to the likes of you I'd be more compelled to dot your eye for you!

[tLakota]

Originally Posted by SUV

PS By the way, has anyone found out yet who this "Sex Ed" might be?

Sex Ed is short for sexual education. It's not a person and you would know that if you went to school. This thread was meant to be good advice for me and the other teens preparing for that special person that we will marry. I've got housecleaning, cooking, taking care of children from infancy, and being generally nice down pat. But anything else I could know would still be interesting. I don't know what happened to that. We've gotten some pretty good responses but it's been hijacked.

[Don the Baptist]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

Aren't you TC's compelled to marry and make babies for Jesus?

Originally Posted by tLakota

I have to agree with Dances, good women are always clean if they have a water source. In fact, if you're lost in the woods and have a water bottle, you can still stay clean to a degree. Both my mom and I wear pads and we never smell bad.

The argument could be made for rubbing oneself down with dried tree bark or leaves in the absence of water but that does not mean it is right. The bible specifically gives us instructions to be followed during periods of "uncleanness". The Bible say it, I believe it and that settles it!

[Don the Baptist]

Originally Posted by tLakota

Sex Ed is short for sexual education. It's not a person and you would know that if you went to school. This thread was meant to be good advice for me and the other teens preparing for that special person that we will marry. I've got housecleaning, cooking, taking care of children from infancy, and being generally nice down pat. But anything else I could know would still be interesting. I don't know what happened to that. We've gotten some pretty good responses but it's been hijacked.

I thought we wrapped it up at "loud in bed" and "quiet in church" - submissive in BOTH.

[tLakota]

Originally Posted by NoNameAtAll

The argument could be made for rubbing oneself down with dried tree bark or leaves in the absence of water but that does not mean it is right. The bible specifically gives us instructions to be followed during periods of "uncleanness". The Bible say it, I believe it and that settles it!

I didn't say anything about using bark. I said, even if you're in the woods and have a WATER BOTTLE you can stay clean. Meaning that if you are surprised by your menses and are not in a civilized area you won't have to smell bad and be very unclean(physically). Of course, using a pad, staying clean, and washing often will stave off bad odors and can be done while following a biblical regimen.

[tLakota]

Originally Posted by NoNameAtAll

I thought we wrapped it up at "loud in bed" and "quiet in church" - submissive in BOTH.

What do you mean 'we'? I haven't seen a single post by you that gave advice, and as long as people are posting I prefer to keep on topic or let the thread die.

[Don the Baptist]

Originally Posted by tLakota

Sex Ed is short for sexual education. It's not a person and you would know that if you went to school. This thread was meant to be good advice for me and the other teens preparing for that special person that we will marry. I've got housecleaning, cooking, taking care of children from infancy, and being generally nice down pat. But anything else I could know would still be interesting. I don't know what happened to that. We've gotten some pretty good responses but it's been hijacked.

Originally Posted by tLakota

What do you mean 'we'? I haven't seen a single post by you that gave advice, and as long as people are posting I prefer to keep on topic or let the thread die.

WE is collective - you posed a question in public and it was answered (nicely might I add) in public by "Seeker"

Seeker: I have no idea where you got that Christian men want you silent in bed... Most Christian men want you loud in bed and silent in church.

Seeker: Well sure, teeth is never a good idea in bed.

I missed the "no teeth" part but that is sage advice as well.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Once again, you are sticking your warty nose into other people's business, only this time the business is MINE.

If you cannot keep your unsaved opinions to yourself, and stop trying to break up good Christian couples (in a feeble attempt to turn everyone queer), then you are going to be asked to leave.

MIND YOUR OWN CALDRON, witch!

Who's trying to break you up? I'm just trying to figure out why, if you're so in love, you haven't tied the knot yet.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by SUV

Jesus Christmas.......she admits to it!!!!!

PS By the way, has anyone found out yet who this "Sex Ed" might be? Probably it's that horrible Teddy Kennedy, who is "poised like a drunken walrus on the edge of the Armageddon"

GoD! This has now become double disgusting! Excuse me while I go have a few slices of Tipsy Cake in order to restore my Spirits

Misquoting me is a form of bearing false witness. Don't you have a commandment against that sort of thing?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Roberta

Not even a real "hunk" like Chuck Norris?

Nope.

[Don the Baptist]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

Misquoting me is a form of bearing false witness. Don't you have a commandment against that sort of thing?

ONLY if it is without benefit to Jesus, in this case it demonstrates the futileness of stealing laundry, doing drugs and general tomfoolery so it is perfectly acceptable. At least that is my understanding.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by tLakota

What do you mean 'we'? I haven't seen a single post by you that gave advice, and as long as people are posting I prefer to keep on topic or let the thread die.

We True Christians will post about whatever we want to post about, as the Holy Spirit moves us. Don't get uppity with us, young lady!

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

Misquoting me is a form of bearing false witness. Don't you have a commandment against that sort of thing?

Boring us to death is a form of terrorism. Is there a reason why you're not in Vain Repeaters anymore?

[SUV]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Boring us to death is a form of terrorism. Is there a reason why you're not in Vain Repeaters anymore?

Yeah, kind of like that slow water Torture, like, drip-drip-DRIP!

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Just out of interest, which would you rather do - marry a TC, or make a post with some kind of vaguely interesting, amusing, worthwhile or thought-provoking content?

I'd gladly give her positive rep every day for a week if she did that, Brother T!

Originally Posted by tLakota

Sex Ed is short for sexual education. It's not a person and you would know that if you went to school. This thread was meant to be good advice for me and the other teens preparing for that special person that we will marry. I've got housecleaning, cooking, taking care of children from infancy, and being generally nice down pat. But anything else I could know would still be interesting. I don't know what happened to that. We've gotten some pretty good responses but it's been hijacked.

Well, you know how Dances with Rags is, Sister tLak.

Originally Posted by NoNameAtAll

WE is collective - you posed a question in public and it was answered (nicely might I add) in public by "Seeker"

Seeker: I have no idea where you got that Christian men want you silent in bed... Most Christian men want you loud in bed and silent in church.

Mr. NoName, while it appears that you are on the right path or at least have found the on-ramp, do keep in mind that the Department of Faith has not completed its investigation of you. Note that it still says "Unsaved Trash" under your name.

When your true nature has been thoroughly investigated and a report presented to the Pastors, you will be the first to know!

Originally Posted by Dances Chef Boyardee

Misquoting me is a form of bearing false witness. Don't you have a commandment against that sort of thing?

Miss Dances Chef Boyardee, there are no BEARS involved in anything Pastor Ezekiel writes, and I'm sure he resents your perverted accusation. Pastor is NO FURRY!

"Bearing false witness" means lying in a court proceeding. It does not include Sister SUV's obvious joke, clearly intended to break you from your monotonous and wearisome rut and encourage you to respond in a humorous or otherwise interesting way.

[Don the Baptist]

Originally Posted by JennyD

Mr. NoName, while it appears that you are on the right path or at least have found the on-ramp, do keep in mind that the Department of Faith has not completed its investigation of you. Note that it still says "Unsaved Trash" under your name.

When your true nature has been thoroughly investigated and a report presented to the Pastors, you will be the first to know!

Thank you for that compassionate rebuke, I'll be careful not to reply further until my status has in fact been verified.

[lilpentecostalgirl (Quarantined)]

Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben

Here's what the Bible has to say about it, in I Cor 7:1-5.

Married couples should have as much sex as possible, so that the Devil can't tempt them with lust.

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

The previous chapter of I Corinthians contained a sermon on the evils of fornication. In this chapter, Paul prescribes marriage as a remedy for avoiding fornication.

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

Rendering "due benevolence" means the husband should make sure the wife gets hers, and the wife should make sure the husband gets his.

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

The wife is not allowed to refuse the husband's requests for sex, and the husband is not allowed to refuse the wife's requests for sex.

5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Don't falsely claim to have a headache or whatever to avoid sex. The only legitimate reason to skip the nookie is for an agreed upon pause for fasting and prayer, and then you should immediately have sex when you are done, so that Satan can't tempt you because of your uncontrollable lust.

If you are interested, you can find that Bible passage colorfully illustrated with Lego® blocks here.

I hope this helps.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

I totally agree with you Pastor, if u as a woman make sounds and do certain things in the bed then your Godly Husband will wonder if you wondered around that is how it just is. Only woman of the world knows "tricks". My husband wants me to be silent in bed and have him a sandwich made within 10 minutes after trying to have a son so God will smile upon me. I hope I helped you some.