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Default What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-11-2013, 04:07 PM

This is just a vent, ladies. Sometimes we need to get things off our chests without upsetting our lovely home environment. Please just agree with me, and if you have any advice as to how I can respond in a Christ-like way, I'd like to hear it.

Someone, whose name I won't mention here, made a wonderful dish for a gathering several months ago. As I was sitting next to her, I mentioned I would love the recipe (but just in passing). Even my youngest, and pickiest eater seemed to enjoy it. I finally sent her a message on facebook asking if I could get her recipe. She never responded.

I thought that was rather odd, considering we have always been polite to each other.

Yesterday I sent her a second request. She immediately messaged me back and just said:
"Sorry. I just throw stuff together. Maybe you can find something online."
I'm not sure to make of it. She's fairly friendly and helpful in general. So why is she being so rude to me? I've been praying for her, because maybe something is going on and she's too upset to share, but wouldn't you feel slighted as well? What should I do? What would Jesus do?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-11-2013, 04:13 PM

I find that if my wife starts whining about this sort of thing she quickly shuts up when I remind her that women don't really think, they just feel stuff.

She was probably just feeling something really powerfully due to disgusting things happening in her womb and you were expecting her to be having thoughts like a man so it confused you. As soon as you realise nothing women feel like they are thinking makes any sense you'll stop bothering people with your feelings as well.

Ask your husband if this sort of thing annoys him as well when women start going on about it. I'm confident he will say that it is annoying and you should stop whining about it and bake him a pie.



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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-11-2013, 08:25 PM

Perhaps I am misunderstanding, Mrs Etheldreda. On our island "being polite to one another" means that we're not friendly. Recipes would not be exchanged.
, , No afternoon tea in the kitchen.


The tradition here is to call one's friends by increasingly disparaging names according to degree of friendship.
,Floozy, for example, suggests a thinning of the ice.
,,Silly Old Tart would be reserved for a more relaxed association of several years standing.
,,,She Holds The Gun Her Ol' Man Robs The Bank indicates a close friend and confidante.

Perhaps the custom is different where you are? I don't know whether she'd had any contact with convicts in the past perhaps a few things had rubbed off on her it does happen (fortunately I am immume these days and the supply of convicts is rather limited around here) although given the situation you describe I'd expect something in that general area.

After all we can take the papist out of the confessional but.. have you asked her about her husband? She hasn't accidently poisoned him? If you need a few recipes though I'm always happy to oblige just let me know what sort of ingredients you'll be using and I'm sure I can find something appropriate.



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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-11-2013, 08:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
If you need a few recipes though I'm always happy to oblige just let me know what sort of ingredients you'll be using and I'm sure I can find something appropriate.
Oh thank you, dear! I always knew I could count on you for some friendly help! The thing is, I thought I could count on her for friendly help, as well. I mean, we go to the same church after all, we worship the same LORD. You'd think she could be civil, but apparently some people get very testy when you ask about something as innocent as a recipe. I don't understand it, it's not like I've ever gossiped about her or anything.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-11-2013, 08:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
I find that if my wife starts whining about this sort of thing she quickly shuts up when I remind her that women don't really think, they just feel stuff.
You are so insightful, dear Redeemed Papist! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your taking the time out of your busy day to remind me of this fact, something you'd think I would have memorized by now.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-11-2013, 10:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
You are so insightful, dear Redeemed Papist! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your taking the time out of your busy day to remind me of this fact, something you'd think I would have memorized by now.

He is very kind, Mrs Etheldreda. Do you know if he's married?
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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-12-2013, 11:38 PM

It could have been worse, Sister Mary. I don't poke my nose in women's business very much, but I have heard about many occasions where a woman doesn't want to give out a jealously guarded recipe, but at the same time doesn't want to appear un-neighborly, so she'll give you the recipe you've requested, only she'll make a few changes in order to prevent the dish from coming out properly when you attempt to make it.

Can you imagine doing something so rotten to a sister in Christ?


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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-13-2013, 12:28 AM

I guess this won't be much consolation, but I can give you some of my favourite recipes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb's awesomesauce
Ice cream....Lots
Pretzels......Lots

Preparation: Mix all ingredients.

Serves one.
I'll also tell you how to make honey-butter once I've successfully reverse engineered it.


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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-13-2013, 03:52 PM

Maybe your friend feels the recipe is too advanced for your cooking skills. The internets have lots of easy recipes for the beginner and the unskilled.


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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-13-2013, 06:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Maybe your friend feels the recipe is too advanced for your cooking skills. The internets have lots of easy recipes for the beginner and the unskilled.
I mean no offence dear, but the recipe couldn't have been all that advanced. I mean, after all, my picky eater liked it and she has very simple tastes.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-13-2013, 07:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Maybe your friend feels the recipe is too advanced for your cooking skills. The internets have lots of easy recipes for the beginner and the unskilled.
On the other hand, it is possible that her "friend" did indeed just "throw something together" that she found "online" – and then promptly forgot where she found it. Women are typical "low-info" voters as 55% of them voted for Obama in the last election.


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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-13-2013, 08:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
This is just a vent, ladies. Sometimes we need to get things off our chests without upsetting our lovely home environment. Please just agree with me, and if you have any advice as to how I can respond in a Christ-like way, I'd like to hear it.

Someone, whose name I won't mention here, made a wonderful dish for a gathering several months ago. As I was sitting next to her, I mentioned I would love the recipe (but just in passing). Even my youngest, and pickiest eater seemed to enjoy it. I finally sent her a message on facebook asking if I could get her recipe. She never responded.

I thought that was rather odd, considering we have always been polite to each other.

Yesterday I sent her a second request. She immediately messaged me back and just said:
"Sorry. I just throw stuff together. Maybe you can find something online."
I'm not sure to make of it. She's fairly friendly and helpful in general. So why is she being so rude to me? I've been praying for her, because maybe something is going on and she's too upset to share, but wouldn't you feel slighted as well? What should I do? What would Jesus do?
Good sister Mary, you may not know this but there has actually been a small amount of research done into how women think. I was never very interested at university during my unsaved days but I do remember reading something along the lines of the following.

Women are basically hateful creatures who live only to ensnare a good man to care for, look out for and think for them. The typical woman seeks only put other women down and scramble for the slightest trace of status they can possibly acquire.

As a True Christian™ lady of grace and purity you will have no idea the depths that some women will go to to keep their man. Not giving you (a competitor) a recipe for pie is the tip of the mountain, oh yes.

Be advised that this 'woman' may even have design on Mr Etheldreda (as I'm sure his status as a married True Christian™ manly man is very high indeed).

Ask yourself this: have you ever seen her staring at Mr Etheldreda's groinal region in church? You can tell because she will have difficulty sitting up in church as her natural oils make her all but slide off the pew as she no doubt fantasises about stealing your man.

Test the pew where she sat with the back of your hand to to be sure. Make no mistake, she may hate you and want to take every thing from you.

This may sound harsh but my research shows beyond not doubting that with women in mind you should ALWAYS think the worst. They will betray you, steal from and divorce you as soon as you let your guard down.

Don't let a woman's natural hatred towards normal people be your undoing. I'm not saying I'm right in this case but my advice is never wrong in these cases.

I hope this advice is informative. Please PM if there are any words you don't understand.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-13-2013, 10:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
I mean no offence dear, but the recipe couldn't have been all that advanced. I mean, after all, my picky eater liked it and she has very simple tastes.
My dear Mary, you seem to have taken my comment the wrong way. Since you're the youngest woman at Landover, you have fewer years of experience in the kitchen. That's what I was trying to say.

Feel free to stop by my kitchen any time if you'd like to pick up some pointers.


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-13-2013, 11:24 PM

This one isn't for Mrs Etheldreda particularly (although your youngest is it? might like to try it out) and it is off the internet. We used to love these and they're still very popular.

HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS SANDWICHES

INGREDIENTS
10 slices fresh white sandwich bread
100g butter, at room temperature
125g (1/2 cup) hundreds and thousands

STEP 1
Spread the bread slices evenly with butter. Use a variety of 5cm-diameter pastry cutters to cut shapes from the bread, avoiding the crusts.

STEP 2
Kids' task: Place the hundreds and thousands on a plate. Press the bread, buttered-side down, into the hundreds and thousands to coat. Serve.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IMAGE LINKE TO SITE


What sort of poultry is available where you are?

Mitza.
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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-14-2013, 09:16 PM

Maybe she just buys it someplace and is too embarrassed to fess up.

I'd assume that was it and not bother her about it anymore. However, you'll probably want to quietly warn the other ladies not to ask her for her recipes because they're really just store-bought, and it seems to embarrass her, but keep it hush hush you kow.


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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-14-2013, 10:54 PM

Yes, I've heard about that particular Landover lady. Even her pies are shop bought, you know. Of course, I wouldn't dream of naming any names, but I think Mary should take heart, as she makes as fine a pie as I ever tasted.

YBIC
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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-15-2013, 01:12 AM

If it's who I'm thinking of, I suspect all the mimosas and martinis may have affected her ability to even properly remember the recipe in question.


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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-15-2013, 02:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustGotSaved View Post
Maybe she just buys it someplace and is too embarrassed to fess up.
Hmmm, this would explain things.



Quote:
Originally Posted by JustGotSaved View Post
I'd assume that was it and not bother her about it anymore. However, you'll probably want to quietly warn the other ladies not to ask her for her recipes because they're really just store-bought, and it seems to embarrass her, but keep it hush hush you kow.
A practical idea. Thank you kindly, Brother.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
If it's who I'm thinking of, I suspect all the mimosas and martinis may have affected her ability to even properly remember the recipe in question.
You know, I do wonder. If I'm not mistaken, there was some connection with... someone, and Mr. Thurmond's bike-seat-sniffing compulsion last spring.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-15-2013, 06:19 AM

Oh Heavens, I had just taken Mr. Thurmond's explanation at face value. I will certainly pray for him and for... well, anybody who may possibly be involved in the situation, perhaps because she makes unfortunate decisions when she's had a drink or two.


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Default Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) - 01-15-2013, 06:56 AM

GAME TART


Not strictly a pie, Mrs Etheldreda already knows how to prepare those, but a local variant using less pastry. Where our game species are unavailable I have .[[substituted]]. alternatives which will be virtually indistinguishable.
brace native pheasant [[2 pheasants]] (from your usual supplier) .. picture showing size
1 maned goose .[[any duck]]. .picture showing size
some maple syrup
3 shallots
about ¼ star anise
tblspn pink river-bed salt .[[sea-salt flakes]]. . picture showing colour
some redcurrants (glacé if available) .[[cranberries]].
some gelatin
2 tblspns redcurrant jelly
your preferred short pastry (I like a coarse ground high=12½% protein wheat flour made with a peppery olive oil)


1 Dress and bake the maned goose [[duck]] and native pheasants [[pheasants]] in a moderate oven, basting throughout with the maple syrup.

2 While that is cooking pulverise the (whole) star anise (I mean including the husk of the ¼ a whole one would be too much) in a deep ceramic mortar with two pestles (one in each hand).

CAUTION
CHECK MORTAR
DO NOT USE
THIS TYPE

3 Add the salt and keep pulverising. I always use a vigorous action and do not use metal at any stage of cooking or food preparation.

4 Keep pulverising.

5 Slice the shallots, make up the gelatin and get the redcurrant jelly ready.

6 Remove pheasants/goose from oven, discard the skin, remove the meat from the bones.

7 Have we mixed the gelatin yet? ..yes. OK, while the meat cools make the pastry. It needs to be quite thick. Mix half the gelatin with half the redcurrant jelly and paint onto one side of the pastry. I normally do this in the fridge. Force into (ceramic) pie-dish - obviously the dish will be smeared with olive oil to prevent sticking (or any other method you prefer).

8 By now the meat should be cool enough so chop it up (coarse) and mix in the shallots, remaining redcurrant jelly and any nuts you have lying around (optional) together with the pulverised salt/anise.

9 This should now be a dense, meaty filling for the pastry case so get it out and add the meat filling.

10 Bake in hot oven until the pastry-case is done.

GLAZE
11 Remove from oven and chill. Brush over the top with some of the remaining gelatin. Garnish with plenty of redcurrants. Brush over the whole lot with remaining gelatin.
NOTE - if you're using a home-made gelatin or aspic for this follow your usual procedure. I'm using granulated gelatin out of a packet for simplicity.
12 Chill.
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