[Faith_Machine]

Louisiana textbook teaches Loch Ness Monster proves Christianity

Taxpayers in Louisiana will be paying for some remarkable lies to be taught to impressionable schoolchildren this year. Through a state funded voucher program designed to funnel children into over 100 religious schools, students will be taught a wide variety of whoppers and whale tales. Among them, the "fact" that the Loch Ness Monster disproves evolution, and the "fact" that a Japanese whaling boat found a dinosaur in 1977.

The ACE curriculum is one of the more popular Christian curricula for both the classrom and homeschooling. Regarding Nessie, it has this to say:

"Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the 'Loch Ness Monster' in Scotland? 'Nessie' for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur."

Why does Scotland's most famous tourist trap disprove evolution? It's simple: If the flood happened 4000 years ago (and of course it did, because the Bible says it did) then there wouldn't have been time for plesiosaurs to evolve. So Nessie must be a sea monster who survived the flood. (The Bible says sea monsters are real, too.) The flood proves Nessie, which disproves evolution, which proves Christianity, since the Bible teaches about the flood...

Did you happen to note the panicky tone of the above article? That, my friends, is the sound of an evolutionist desperately scrambling to deny reality.

Since the monkey worshipers are so darned scared of Nessie, I say we organize the mother of all church fishing trips and bag that sea serpent once and for all! Then we'll enjoy watching the evolutionists do back flips as they fall all over themselves trying to explain away the incontrovertible proof which we will lay at their doorstep.

I don't actually know much about fishing, but I figure I could do my part by making sure the pastors' cigars were lit and their whiskey glasses weren't empty.

Really, I'll do anything to help; swab the deck of the fishing boat, get the bait ready, whatever. I just want to know that I'm contributing, as described in Colossians:

Colossians 3:23-24

23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.