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Reload this Page A Prayer for Un-Gays by Mother Glendora
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default A Prayer for Un-Gays by Mother Glendora - 02-09-2007, 03:39 AM

As the spiritual mother of LBC, I felt compelled to write this delightful prayer for our Un-gay friends. Perhaps it might appeal to them if we could get a Christian singer who sounds a bit like their favorite Madonna (forgive me Jesus). Anyway, I think if our Un-gay friends recite this prayer regularly it might help them make better choices in life. A VERY HOPEFUL MOTHER GLENDORA

Christ will you shield me today?
Against the Devil's burning?
Against same-sex yearning?
So I can be un-gay every day!

Christ before me, Christ behind me.
Christ in me, Christ beneath me!
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down!

Fill me with your love o Lord
Like a virgin, touched for the very first time
Like a viriririrgin
I feel your hearbeat next to mine!

Today I arise so Un-gay!
Christ is in the mouth of
every man who speaks of me.
Christ you have shown me the way!


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default Re: A Prayer for Un-Gays by Mother Glendora - 02-09-2007, 03:47 AM

Praise Jesus and thank you Mother G! I'm sure Pastor Haggard will be singing that ditty day in and day out from now on, thanks to his three day miracle cure.

Don't forget to encourage the un-gay to emulate that wonderful un-gay Christian singer, Donnie Davies. His songs are quite catchy too!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: A Prayer for Un-Gays by Mother Glendora - 02-09-2007, 03:09 PM

Your art is LIFE eternal, dear Glendie.
Beautiful as always forever, and so much more.

Thank you so much,

Your PP
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