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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-11-2012, 04:04 AM

The only way to get the retardeds to know Jesus is to beat it into them.

But I've never seen one that survived long enough to accept Jesus, so...


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default 02-11-2012, 10:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
I'm going to leave a bowl of cooked hamburger and vegetables outside my back door, but I certainly won't let him in. (No silverware with it, though...he might take it.)
I would be careful about that: it might imprint on you and think you are it's mother.

Jesus has touched me.
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-13-2012, 07:04 PM

Well, I'll be. That damn Colby boy flung a lot of the food I left out around the yard, and even chipped one of my good Corningware bowls.

(It was the blue one, too. One of my favorites.)

It seems like no good deed goes unpunished.
.
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 01-25-2013, 01:22 AM

Oh, Mistress Cookie! It's a good thing that you didn't leave the silverware you mentioned him not wanting to steal with the good bowl that was broken. He would have undoubtedly made off with it, even though you would have most likely encountered the cutlery strewn about someone's yard later in the day. Retarded boys don't really know the value of such things.

JWB
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 01-25-2013, 01:57 AM

Pastor jerry gave thsi book to my pa and dhe used to read idT TO ME AT night


For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. (1 Corinthians 11:6)
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 01-25-2013, 02:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Well, I'll be. That damn Colby boy flung a lot of the food I left out around the yard, and even chipped one of my good Corningware bowls.

(It was the blue one, too. One of my favorites.)

It seems like no good deed goes unpunished.
.
Your CORNINGWARE

He's so simple he doesn't understand how important that stuff is?!?!!!!?!!!

Good thing you didn't leave the silverware out, you wouldn't want to be forked in the middle of the night.

PS: This is why I don't let my Corningware out of the house. If I'm going to lose something, I'd rather lose disposable aluminum or some other cheap dish.


Drama queen
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