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Wink Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 10-01-2016, 05:17 AM

Ahh, 1 Timothy 2:11-14. A favorite of mine. But how to follow it? As you know, females are very weak and we can't go 30 seconds without speaking. But God wants us to, and our husbands do as well. So, we can do it! Here are some tips on how to keep your mouths shut for Jesus!

Step 1: Keep busy! If you don't have a busy schedule, either you have a husband who doesn't love you enough, or you are just a rebellious brat who wants to go shoe shopping all day. Ask your husband if he has more chores for you to do and make sure you get them all done. Clean the kitchen, make breakfast, make lunch, make supper, clean the kitchen again, it could go on forever. Most if not all of your time should be spent doing work, and most work doesn't involve talking.

Step 2: Makeup! As you all know, women go CRAZY when it comes to makeup. The Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack description even talks about it! Every day, you should be looking your best for your husband. Yes, that means makeup, hair, and clothing. For lipstick, simply ask what your husbands favorite color is or one that he thinks suits you. If that color is red (the color of harlots) then ask for a different color. Make sure the color of the rest of the makeup compliments the lips to draw attention to them. If your husband seems to pay some attention to the lips, you want to please him and keep them looking nice. Speaking makes spit, and spit is gross, and spit messes up your lipstick. So you won't want to speak either way

Step 3: Keep a timer! Get a kitchen timer and set it to a small number. The largest you it should be is five minutes. Keep the timer in your pretty purse. If you wish to speak, start the timer. When someone else begins to speak, stop the timer, and start it again when you resume your speech. If your timer beeps, that means you have spoken enough.

Step 4: Keep a schedule! Find time with your husband to work out a schedule of what times you can speak and how long. Keep in mind your husband sometimes may not want you speaking at all, so just a reminder.

Step 5: Remember you are property! When you were young, your father most likely sold you to your husbands family. Even if you weren't bough, you still belong to your husband. So basically, you're a pet. Pets can't speak. They just yip and yap and meow. And pets get in trouble when they yip and yap and meow, so it's better to be quiet altogether. Something to help is a bark collar for dogs. These collars shock your neck of you speak too loud, so it is a good utility for when your husband isn't home to beat you.

And if all else fails, you have offended God by disobeying the Bible verse I recently mentioned. Remember Matthew 5:30 where it is written that it is better to CUT YOUR HAND OFF than to sin. This applies to tongues/mouths as well. So of your throats, tongues, mouths, or anything like that offends God, simply cut it off to make life easier! I sincerely hope these tips help!


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Revelation 12:9
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Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 02-14-2017, 04:06 AM

My best tip is this! When I want to talk out loud when I shouldn't, I talk to God instead and pray for repentance for the desire to be a boisterous hag.


Proverbs 10:19


When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.
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Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 03-30-2018, 12:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne Sayne View Post
Ahh, 1 Timothy 2:11-14. A favorite of mine. But how to follow it? As you know, females are very weak and we can't go 30 seconds without speaking. But God wants us to, and our husbands do as well. So, we can do it! Here are some tips on how to keep your mouths shut for Jesus!

Step 1: Keep busy! If you don't have a busy schedule, either you have a husband who doesn't love you enough, or you are just a rebellious brat who wants to go shoe shopping all day. Ask your husband if he has more chores for you to do and make sure you get them all done. Clean the kitchen, make breakfast, make lunch, make supper, clean the kitchen again, it could go on forever. Most if not all of your time should be spent doing work, and most work doesn't involve talking.

Step 2: Makeup! As you all know, women go CRAZY when it comes to makeup. The Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack description even talks about it! Every day, you should be looking your best for your husband. Yes, that means makeup, hair, and clothing. For lipstick, simply ask what your husbands favorite color is or one that he thinks suits you. If that color is red (the color of harlots) then ask for a different color. Make sure the color of the rest of the makeup compliments the lips to draw attention to them. If your husband seems to pay some attention to the lips, you want to please him and keep them looking nice. Speaking makes spit, and spit is gross, and spit messes up your lipstick. So you won't want to speak either way

Step 3: Keep a timer! Get a kitchen timer and set it to a small number. The largest you it should be is five minutes. Keep the timer in your pretty purse. If you wish to speak, start the timer. When someone else begins to speak, stop the timer, and start it again when you resume your speech. If your timer beeps, that means you have spoken enough.

Step 4: Keep a schedule! Find time with your husband to work out a schedule of what times you can speak and how long. Keep in mind your husband sometimes may not want you speaking at all, so just a reminder.

Step 5: Remember you are property! When you were young, your father most likely sold you to your husbands family. Even if you weren't bough, you still belong to your husband. So basically, you're a pet. Pets can't speak. They just yip and yap and meow. And pets get in trouble when they yip and yap and meow, so it's better to be quiet altogether. Something to help is a bark collar for dogs. These collars shock your neck of you speak too loud, so it is a good utility for when your husband isn't home to beat you.

And if all else fails, you have offended God by disobeying the Bible verse I recently mentioned. Remember Matthew 5:30 where it is written that it is better to CUT YOUR HAND OFF than to sin. This applies to tongues/mouths as well. So of your throats, tongues, mouths, or anything like that offends God, simply cut it off to make life easier! I sincerely hope these tips help!
Thank you for posting this! These tips are very helpful!

My husbands rule for me is this- do not speak unless he tells me to. If I speak, I am promptly disciplined. I am his property, and property does not talk. As a woman, I am unworthy of a voice. My silence is a way for me to honor him because I am not wasting his hearing on my sinful voice
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Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 05-23-2018, 09:43 PM

You all are being brainwashed! You are not the property of your husbands, and shouldn't be their slaves. All men should be able to get off their fat butts and make food for themselves, in fact, without straight men, the world would be a much nicer, kinder place!
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Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 05-23-2018, 10:40 PM

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Originally Posted by NegroLezbo7790 View Post
You all are being brainwashed! You are not the property of your husbands, and shouldn't be their slaves. All men should be able to get off their fat butts and make food for themselves, in fact, without straight men, the world would be a much nicer, kinder place!
Actually, women are the property of their husbands. You need to go back and read Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:22-23.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 05-25-2018, 06:02 PM

Quote:
Quote:

I am a liberal, and these do not "trigger" me, because I am tolerant of other's opinions!
Quote:

You all are being brainwashed! You are not the property of your husbands, and shouldn't be their slaves. All men should be able to get off their fat butts and make food for themselves, in fact, without straight men, the world would be a much nicer, kinder place!
God has explained the different prices for different types of persons and the circumstances under which they should not be killed. For example, just having purchased someone does not entitle the owner to kill them outright. God does not permit that, the owner should be punished. Obviously if the wretch survives 48 hours or so before dying there's no case to answer because God is fair.

Exodus 21:20-21

Children can be sold and under some circumstances can go free after seven years (unless female (or foreign)) but the prices vary according to uncleanness or capacity for work, as determined by God.

Exodus 21:7-8

A man who seduces a woman he owns (but who is married to a different man) has done something unacceptable to God and he's required to bring a whole ram to the priest. The woman is whipped.

Leviticus 19:20-22

There is no need for Christians to be brainwashed. God's standards are very clear. Morality for unbelievers is a random spinning compass, today cannibalism, tomorrow gold mining, what's the difference? If it became fashionable to eat arsenic and people liked the taste, why not? God on the other hand does not change. His value system is not subject to the whims of millennials or communists or whatever fad prevails for the moment. The Bible tells us to obey laws but Jesus did not revoke His own nature just to make Himself more appealing. Indeed, as foretold, He was despised and rejected of men. Jesus was murdered and now we are free to follow Him..but that doesn't mean free to run around worshipping idols or wearing mixed fabrics or perjuring ourselves! Satan would like everyone to think that was OK, to think that Jesus overturned The Law, indeed he's got most people well envenomed in that respect but The Bible provides a rock in swirling seas and without The Bible perhaps brainwashing's all there is; without it how should we know Jesus ever existed at all?

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Grammar Nazi Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 06-01-2018, 01:36 PM

I know this is a hen fest of cluckers but I have to include my helpful hint. Peanut butter. I know it was originally created by a nigra but seeing how women do not have a soul, I figured it would be OK. I keep a big jar of Skippy nearby when there area gaggle of females likely to make an appearance. Use the smooth, not the crunchy type. I take a big old glob of the stuff and jam it in the mouth of the biggest cluck. Shuts them right up for a good five minutes. Works on barking dogs as well. A side benefit is it is fun to watch them trying to get it off of the roof of their mouths.


1 Timothy 5:13
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.


Proverbs 21:23
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 06-10-2018, 02:10 PM

Brother Hutchins,

I’m glad the Lord has provided you with a solid paying job that allows you to afford the vast amounts of peanut butter to fill your wife’s yap (I assume you use the diet brand? Wouldn’t want to give her an excuse to get fat and undesirable). Simple folk like myself still use a Corinthians rag and yarn. I allowed her to embroider it so it’s at least fashionable (I know, I’m getting soft in my old age).
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Love Jesus Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 06-11-2018, 06:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Brother Hutchins,

I’m glad the Lord has provided you with a solid paying job that allows you to afford the vast amounts of peanut butter to fill your wife’s yap (I assume you use the diet brand? Wouldn’t want to give her an excuse to get fat and undesirable). Simple folk like myself still use a Corinthians rag and yarn. I allowed her to embroider it so it’s at least fashionable (I know, I’m getting soft in my old age).
There often is no modern improvement over the classics, I'll give you that Brother Creeser!

I used to have one of those cloths when I was younger and had a full head of hair, back in my college days. I'd soak it in Methoxyflurane, a harmless non-fat sweetener.

I found the girls from the sorority and fellows from the fraternities liked it better, not as none ever complained like they always seemed to when I 'went in dry'.

Ah, college days and the harmless hijinks of boys on campus. It was a dizzying time, let me tell you!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 06-11-2018, 07:16 PM

I would give her something to think about.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 06-20-2018, 05:09 PM

I find it helps when our mouths are occupied with something else.
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Posts: 22,505
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Helpful Hints for women: How to keep quiet! - 06-23-2018, 07:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by NegroLezbo7790 View Post
You all are being brainwashed! You are not the property of your husbands, and shouldn't be their slaves. All men should be able to get off their fat butts and make food for themselves, in fact, without straight men, the world would be a much nicer, kinder place!
You're confused, dear. Slaves are beasts of burden whereas wives are help meets (Genesis 2:18; 3:16; 1 Corinthians 11:9). Besides, slaves don't get to keep and care for the children their masters provide them with. When we embrace our True Nature and are dutiful unto the LORD, we are blessed indeed!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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