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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 12:34 AM
Maybe the Pastors devoted a sermon to this one Sunday, but I'm not sure how to get books I throw in my fireplace really going.
It never looks like they do in the movies!
Often they just put out the kindling, being flat and solid. But then when I open them in a "teepee" shape, they just funnel smoke into the room. It is SO annoying!
Also, I'm thinking of developing a cookbook called The Book Burner's Grilling Guide, where the recipes say things like, "Cook for 3 paperbacks, about 300 pages each", etc. But if I can't include a consistent method as to how to light them and keep em' going, the instructions will be all off.
HELP!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 01:35 AM
You probably don't have enough air flow and your fire isn't hot enough. You're going to need an old style bellows or some other type of fan to get enough oxygen to burn the books.
Another thing to consider is dipping them in paraffin so that they have some fuel to help them burn like a duraflame log.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 01:36 AM
A good question, Sister. Open the book, pull the front and back covers together, and using a staple gun, attach the covers to each other. Then stand the book on edge, douse it with your favorite combustible fluid, and apply a match.
To burn multiple books at once, simply toss them on a bonfire. The mound of burning wood supplies the extra heat that a couple of logs in the fireplace can't.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 01:45 AM
Whatever you do, don't have that local half-wit boy what's his name( Jimmy-Roy's oldest) come over to do your book burning. You remember when the Widow Johnson's house burned to the ground? She hired that imbecile to come over and burn her books, and he doused them with gasoline, right in her fireplace.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
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Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 03:53 AM
Diesel, diesel and more diesel!! Why, with enough diesel, you can even get human* flesh to burn to a cinder!...or so I've been told.
*if you can classify those filthy whores-of-satan as 'human'. They were evil incarnate, I tell you! All of them!!
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
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Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 09:05 AM
Brother Nobar is right about the air-flow. What with double- and triple-glazing, there simply aren't the drafts to get a proper blaze going.
Our solution is to store them up until November 5th, when it's traditional here to build an enormous bonfire and burn a cathlick (though only in effigy these PC days ). Our Pastor came up with the wonderful idea of what he calls the Bradbury Bake - I don't remember the reason for the name, something to do with potatoes wrapped in foil cooking best at 451°.
He invites all the local cathlicks to bring their children for an evening of ecumenical fun - "Subtil like Jonadab", he says. And barring a few accidents (those UnSaved kids are a bit slow pulling the potatoes out of the fire), a great time is had by all. So many of them have now been Saved that the local papist church is being demolished to make way for a supermarket. Praise Jesus!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Also, I'm thinking of developing a cookbook called The Book Burner's Grilling Guide, where the recipes say things like, "Cook for 3 paperbacks, about 300 pages each", etc.
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Let me know if you want the potato recipe.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Forum Member
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Posts: 728
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Manalapan, FL
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 01:11 PM
Hello Mistress Cookie.
I saw your post yesterday but I could not remember the Bible verse that said there were too many books because I do not have it marked with a Post-It Note but I was reading the Bible this morning and I found it look at Ecclesiastes 12:12 it says:
And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
The verse right before that says The words of the wise are as goads and I did not know what a goad was so I looked it up it is a stick to poke an animal to get it moving I thought it was a misspelling.
Thank you.
Rusty
Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 02:00 PM
Any book printed before the early 1800's will be very tough to burn, it is printed on vellum or woven cloth, Something like the consistency of USA $20 bills. Actually any of the bills.
It takes much more heat to get them to really burn . Might I suggest placing the books in a bucket of diesel and let them soak for 2 or 3 days before the burning then once you got a fire going just reach into your bucket and toss one on. This is especially good for a public burning as you can place books where you need them to insure a good fire everywhere on the pyre.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
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Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 02:03 PM
Diesel? DIESEL?
Good grief, I pray you people are long-haul truckers and not Jetta drivers.
YiC,
Zech
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 02:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
Diesel? DIESEL?
Good grief, I pray you people are long-haul truckers and not Jetta drivers.
YiC,
Zech
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Brother Zech you forgot the most important vehicle To some of us..... The Tractor. I would never get my lawn mowed without my John Deere. Jetta, yeah right.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: Best way to BURN BOOKS (?) -
09-30-2014, 10:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Another thing to consider is dipping them in paraffin so that they have some fuel to help them burn like a duraflame log.
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Uh, regarding that....now one of my eyebrows is gone.
I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You.
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