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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 03:39 PM

I hear this is God's Favorite Forum right?


If so I'm at the right place. I feel like I've stepped into a time portal to where old beliefs are acceptable.
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 03:47 PM

There is no old or new with Christ Jesus, dear. He is unchanging (Hebrews 13:8). Does this bother you? And why should it? It is His decision how He will be, and we have the privilege and responsibility to be thankful and glorify Him.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Sinner Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 03:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
I hear this is God's Favorite Forum right?


If so I'm at the right place. I feel like I've stepped into a time portal to where old beliefs are acceptable.
First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. We're right and you're wrong, according to Jesus and the Holy Word of God. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed
HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here
uninvited, and unwelcome .

If you want to debate people,
THIS is the place to go.

Please make a thread of your own in the "
Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at
THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to
hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 03:51 PM

JC might be a prophet who died for your sins but for me he's some ambiguous existence


anyway I'm more talking about your politics, you believe non-binary people don't exist and that sun monsters shouldn't be treated equally
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Trump Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 03:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
JC might be a prophet who died for your sins but for me he's some ambiguous existence


anyway I'm more talking about your politics, you believe non-binary people don't exist and that sun monsters shouldn't be treated equally
Friend, I've never heard of 'sun monsters', is that something from some gook chiller movie like Godzilla?


We are not political at all. We follow the Perfect Laws of God™.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 03:56 PM

oh I am a friggen idiot... you know nothing about the sun monsters and my rectal demons...


they're demons just like me, however they eat hydrogen and poo


anyway you all seem to be set in your valid ways... I can't lead anyone to the pits of Hell here
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
JC might be a prophet who died for your sins but for me he's some ambiguous existence
Christ Jesus may change his appearance like a shape-shifter, but He doesn't change His ESSENCE, dear. He died for all who believe in Him, you included if you wish to avoid an eternity of being sodomized by Satan's barbed tallywhacker. But then, you might be one of those people who thinks that sounds delightful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
anyway I'm more talking about your politics, you believe non-binary people don't exist and that sun monsters shouldn't be treated equally
We're not political, dear. We transcend mere politics. We are citizens of Heaven, and until the Laws of Heaven have an addendum for the treatment of people who accuse Jesus of botching up their naughty bits when He single-handedly created them way back in their mother's womb, we will continue the way in which our LORD has always desired us to be.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:28 PM

then why do you believe in a light demon named Lucifer?


he's the one that created a whole false religion
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
then why do you believe in a light demon named Lucifer?
I also believe Jews exist, but I wouldn't worship them.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
oh I am a friggen idiot...
Thank you for this clarification, dear. That explains a lot.

Anyway, I will pray that God takes away the delusion He gave you, therefore giving you a fair chance for Salvation.

2 Thessalonians 2:11-12
11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:
12 That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.
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Jesus Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
then why do you believe in a light demon named Lucifer?


he's the one that created a whole false religion
We believe in Jesus Christ, our Savior and the KJV Holy Bible. God tells us that Hell is real and the Satan is there.


Should I believe in God or some guy on the internet playing make believe?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:34 PM

and yet Jesus Christ was a Jew.


By your logic you worship a Jew.






Perhaps you should see a psychic.
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Rebuke Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
and yet Jesus Christ was a Jew.

By your logic you worship a Jew.

Perhaps you should see a psychic.
Jesus IS a Christian, He had to hide among the joos to avoid persecution until they found out. Read your Bible and stop making up wild stories.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
and yet Jesus Christ was a Jew.
Jesus is God. Jews couldn't stand that and killed Him. They wouldn't kill one of theirs, would they?

Quote:
Perhaps you should see a psychic.
It is forbidden:

Deuteronomy 18:10-12
10 There shall not be found among you [any one] that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, [or] that useth divination, [or] an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch,
11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.
12 For all that do these things [are] an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:43 PM

anyway I recommend you play the game DoodleJump and I recommend the Twinkly mod if anyone wants to play modded DoodleJump


also you should bask in the darkness
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
and yet Jesus Christ was a Jew.
Nonsense, dear. If He was a Jew, how could He be the Christ?



Please consider the following evidence: Jesus was not a Jew


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBeast View Post
anyway I recommend you play the game DoodleJump and I recommend the Twinkly mod if anyone wants to play modded DoodleJump


also you should bask in the darkness
Wow! You sure make a convincing point about Christianity. You must be a dirt Road Scholar or something.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 04:55 PM

do you all worship Lucifer or is this just a troll?


anyway I'm pretty sure you're all robots and sincere
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Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 05:06 PM

You know who's a robot? Sleepy Joe Biden, that's who. The fake media is trying to make a mockery out of those of us who know, but we know. We know.

Quote:
"That's why he's wearing a mask all the time, because the fake face that he's wearing, the mouth doesn't move correctly when he talks. Yeah, so they really believe that Joe Biden is not even Joe Biden."


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: hello outer world dwellers - 03-04-2021, 05:08 PM

[MODERATOR REMOVAL OF DISGUSTING SELFIES IN SEXUAL CONTEXT WITH PIGS]


try it some day


The abyssal darkness ever flows.

Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 03-04-2021 at 05:14 PM. Reason: Please keep your disgusting kinks out of Jesus' favorite forum
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