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Default Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 10:09 PM

The McMath's are praying for a miracle. Tens of thousands of dollars will have to be paid, money that would otherwise be wasted on ingrates and freeloaders, to force blood through a bit of gristle in the chest of the hollow shell that was once their daughter, so that Jesus will not feel rushed in performing it.

An international scientific conspiracy propagates the lie that, with zero brain activity, the trembling of formerly human tissue does not constitute life, and that a human soul is not trapped inside of it, yearning with ambition and wanderlust. We as Christians know that this is only an excuse to commit murder. I submit that we should pray that Jesus turns the revolting cadaver of this young girl into a miracle that will usurp the paradigmatic sins of the atheist elite.

Exodus 20:13 tells us not to kill. There are no exceptions made for saving lives. Feeding a starving child is not a miracle, but something anyone with the necessary financial resources can accomplish. If the McMath's pulled the tubes out of the block of meat that used to be their daughter, and reallocated those resources to people whose lives would actually be saved by them, this would be murder. We must continue forcing fluids through this frigid husk until Jesus gets around to resurrecting it!


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 10:16 PM

Brother, I am advised that this is a little nigra sow.

I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that it was sodomized until its ears bled by one of her mother's johns.


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Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 10:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
If the McMath's pulled the tubes out of the block of meat that used to be their daughter, and reallocated those resources to people whose lives would actually be saved by them, this would be murder. We must continue forcing fluids through this frigid husk until Jesus gets around to resurrecting it!
How true, Brother Billy Bob. Jesus knows what he is doing. If it were time for the beautiful girl, Jahi, to die, he would not have provided the McMath's with the money to force blood into her veins.

It's obvious Jesus plans to bring her around when He gets time. For now, the McMaths and all of us sending big money to them need to not be guilty of murder by trying to save someone else.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 10:24 PM

Thank you Billy Bob, I have been thinking about this long and hard. Quite frankly, I'm worried about Jahi's aeternal soul. The problem is I don't think baptizing a brain-dead person is any better than baptizing an infant.

Fortunately, I think I've found another way she can be saved, one that wouldn't necessarily have to involve her regaining consciousness.

Quote:
1 Timothy 2:15

15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Does anybody here know if the McMath family has a pastor? I think he'd be the one to talk to about getting the ball rolling on this.


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 10:33 PM

Hmm. The child is obviously a bastard. Child's name is Jahi McMath while the mother is Nailah Winkfield.
Deuteronomy 23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
So there is no way there will be a miracle for this bastard.
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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 10:34 PM

Any word on whether she accepted Christ before this happened?


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 10:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Brother, I am advised that this is a little nigra sow.

I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that it was sodomized until its ears bled by one of her mother's johns.
Since I am all tithed up as always, I am not going to defy the odds and challenge such a likely assumption, brother. I do not have the faith that atheists have.

Do you think that Jesus would resurrect a filthy, disgusting whore? She has probably repented, since her rectum is doubtlessly sealed with rigor mortis by now.


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 11:44 PM

Friends, I really think my idea has some merit. Just because her brain doesn't work, that's no reason her womb can't be put to good use, birthing sons for Jesus. I figure a man of means could take on a handmaid or two to help him raise the little tykes.


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-04-2014, 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Friends, I really think my idea has some merit. Just because her brain doesn't work, that's no reason her womb can't be put to good use, birthing sons for Jesus. I figure a man of means could take on a handmaid or two to help him raise the little tykes.
Amen. Just toss some hand warmers in there.


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-05-2014, 12:53 AM

But good a real man stand proud if his mother was a vegetable?
"My mother was a carrot. Or was she a brussel sprout?"
I don't think so.
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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-05-2014, 01:23 AM

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But good a real man stand proud if his mother was a vegetable?
"My mother was a carrot. Or was she a brussel sprout?"
I don't think so.
Does it really make all that much of a difference? A brain dead woman and a normal woman are both pretty much at the same end of the daftness spectrum, aren't they?


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-06-2014, 03:07 AM

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Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Does it really make all that much of a difference? A brain dead woman and a normal woman are both pretty much at the same end of the daftness spectrum, aren't they?
I know a few Godly men who would say that a veggie wife is the best wife - she doesn't talk and doesn't cause any trouble!
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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-06-2014, 03:16 AM

Not much good for doing chores of being a helpmeet, though.


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-06-2014, 03:16 AM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
I know a few Godly men who would say that a veggie wife is the best wife - she doesn't talk and doesn't cause any trouble!
That may be true, but does a vegetable clean the kitchen? Does she bake a good pie? (Other than being a pie ingredient)
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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-06-2014, 06:01 PM

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Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
That may be true, but does a vegetable clean the kitchen? Does she bake a good pie? (Other than being a pie ingredient)
I am ambivalent about such a tradeoff. Since I already have one wife stationed in the kitchen, I could use a few vegetables so that my children can incubate contemporaneously. I could create a cubby system out of them.


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-07-2014, 05:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Brother, I am advised that this is a little nigra sow.

I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that it was sodomized until its ears bled by one of her mother's johns.
Perhaps that is the reason the mother wants so desperately to take custody of the body.


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-08-2014, 05:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Perhaps that is the reason the mother wants so desperately to take custody of the body.
Godly point, brother. An awful lot of the darkies still practice cannibalism.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-08-2014, 05:20 AM

According to this article, Jahi McMath's mother is a devout Christian!

No wonder she has so much respect for human life! I feel this bodes well for our chances of convincing her that young Jahi needs to be impregnated in order to ensure her salvation!


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-09-2014, 12:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Godly point, brother. An awful lot of the darkies still practice cannibalism.
Wherever the infants of a community are baptized in the blood of their own siblings, whether it is in the Europe, the Middle East, or the Dark Continent, there is a high demand for corpses and other props that can be used to traumatize a child's psyche, and cause it to grow up into an atheist.


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Default Re: Pray Jesus Reanimates the Grisly Remains of Jahi McMath - 01-09-2014, 05:14 AM

These scientists sink down to new lows everyday. When this girl wakes up I will shout GLORY in the scientists face.
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