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Default Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-19-2014, 09:55 PM

Thank you Jesus for helping me find my lucky purple socks. I have used those socks to infiltrate the gays so who knows how many souls they have saved. Those socks must carry a powerful blessing as they have saved me from numerous gang rapes.

GLORY! PRAISE HIM!


Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-19-2014, 11:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
Thank you Jesus for helping me find my lucky purple socks. I have used those socks to infiltrate the gays so who knows how many souls they have saved. Those socks must carry a powerful blessing as they have saved me from numerous gang rapes.

GLORY! PRAISE HIM!
A lucky charm? Beware.

Jeremiah 8:17

For, behold, I will send serpents, cockatrices, among you, which will not be charmed, and they shall bite you, saith the LORD.

PRAISE THE LORD!
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-19-2014, 11:11 PM

I am so glad you found your socks back!

I was worried about your socks and couldn't sleep for a week.


I Jesus!
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-19-2014, 11:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Felicity View Post
I am so glad you found your socks back!

I was worried about your socks and couldn't sleep for a week.
I should apologize for the accusations I made. Keeping my home up to standard since my wife died would be impossible without your help. But it did make you the most likely suspect.


Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-20-2014, 03:01 AM

We cannot understand the mind of God. How fortunate it is God saw to it you found your wonder working purple socks.

Each of us who battles homerism has his own technique. You have found a code, purple socks, that lets you in on their most sinful secrets.

God bless your work against homerism, Brother Godfly.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-20-2014, 03:11 AM

Oh PRAISE JESUS!

If this doesn't encourage those seekers sitting on the fence whether or not to believe in God, this should do it!

Our God is an Awesome God! He cares for every single thing we take up to Him!

I am praising Jesus with you right now, Brother Godfly! May His Holy Name be blessed!

\0/


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-20-2014, 03:34 AM

I will joyfully join in your prayer of thanks.

As Jesus said, Seek and ye shall find. This is just one more proof that we're right and those other religions are wrong.


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-20-2014, 03:36 AM

See! PROOF prayer works!


SHOUT GLORY!




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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-20-2014, 04:11 AM

GLORY!
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-20-2014, 06:07 AM

What a joyous and glorious day, Brother Godfly!

I once lost my house keys and prayed to Jesus to help me find them, and a couple of hours later I found them in my garage! Jesus is certainly a worker of miracles for His followers!




I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-21-2014, 12:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD View Post
What a joyous and glorious day, Brother Godfly!

I once lost my house keys and prayed to Jesus to help me find them, and a couple of hours later I found them in my garage! Jesus is certainly a worker of miracles for His followers!
That is nothing!

Once I lost my keys and I was absolutely sure that it was at KFC.

Baby JESUS sent them straight to my house, only had to spend the money of the two bullets for the masked coons that JESUS chose as HIS unwilling messengers.

You can't fight JESUS!

PRAISE THE LORD!
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-21-2014, 04:28 AM

Be careful, Godfly..."lucky socks" are attributing to some created object what only God can bring.

God forbid a Christian turns against Him...oh wait, I forgot, this isn't Christianity, it's Churchianity!


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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-21-2014, 05:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Tarzan View Post
Be careful, Godfly..."lucky socks" are attributing to some created object what only God can bring.

God forbid a Christian turns against Him...oh wait, I forgot, this isn't Christianity, it's Churchianity!
Why would you try to mock Brother Godfly and all of LBC in this joyous time of answered prayers? Does it just get under your collar that God's chosen few are happy? Is this why you are trying to poo-poo us with this word you seem to repeat incessantly like an unholy mantra?




I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-21-2014, 09:40 AM

I am glad Jesus found your socks for you. Today I prayed that it wouldn't rain, and it didn't! Prayer works!


"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-21-2014, 12:23 PM

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Originally Posted by ExGay Alex View Post
I am glad Jesus found your socks for you. Today I prayed that it wouldn't rain, and it didn't! Prayer works!
That's amazing! It didn't rain here either! I was able to stand in the garden and eat apples. Otherwise I wouldn't have had any dessert and been at increased risk of scurvy, ricketts & osteoporosis.


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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-21-2014, 06:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Tarzan View Post
Be careful, Godfly..."lucky socks" are attributing to some created object what only God can bring.

God forbid a Christian turns against Him...oh wait, I forgot, this isn't Christianity, it's Churchianity!
If the Creator chooses to make His blessings manifest through a created object (Numbers 21:7-9), who are you to tell us to disregard Him?

Anyway, it's such a blessing that Jesus found Brother Godfly's purple socks. When I hear about the blessings that the Lord bestows on those who keep His commandments, compared to the troubles that befall the unsaved in lands stricken by famine or tsunami, I know that God is love.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-22-2014, 05:41 PM

I lost a pare of socks may be if i tithe some more Jesus will help me find them.
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-22-2014, 06:34 PM

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Originally Posted by Jimmy-Roy Stewart View Post
I lost a pare of socks may be if i tithe some more Jesus will help me find them.
Of course HE will, tithe is a most efficient prayer.

PRAISE THE LORD!
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-22-2014, 09:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy-Roy Stewart View Post
I lost a pare of socks may be if i tithe some more Jesus will help me find them.
I saw your boy (the retarded one who got blood all over my private pool) sitting in a ditch out at the township line yesterday, pushing berries up his nose and diddling himself with an old boot sock. That might be one of them.

I swear Jimmy-Roy, I wish you'd learn how to control your brood.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Join me in a prayer of thanks! I found my lucky socks! - 01-22-2014, 10:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I saw your boy (the retarded one who got blood all over my private pool) sitting in a ditch out at the township line yesterday, pushing berries up his nose and diddling himself with an old boot sock. That might be one of them.

I swear Jimmy-Roy, I wish you'd learn how to control your brood.
Im' real sorry Pastor Ezekal Sir i guess ill' have to beat him extra hard two night i wish my kids would of turned out better i dont' know why they didnt' i guess i need to tithe even more.
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