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Default Day 65. Joshua 10-12 - 11-08-2007, 05:49 PM

Joshua 10-12

Today we get:
  • Killing, lots and lots of killing
  • The sun and moon stop
  • Smoteing, lots and lots of smoteing
  • Pillaging, lots and lots of pillaging

Joshua 10

1 Now it came to pass, when Adonizedec king of Jerusalem had heard how Joshua had taken Ai, and had utterly destroyed it; as he had done to Jericho and her king, so he had done to Ai and her king; and how the inhabitants of Gibeon had made peace with Israel, and were among them;

Now, some secular "scholars" will probably try to get you to believe that these things never happened. They might tell you that Ai had actually been uninhabited for about 1000 years before the hebe's came. They'll also try to tell you that Jericho was probably destroyed by sea people, and that it also was uninhabited for several hundred years.

I tell you, that's rubbish! It just seemed like the place had been deserted because when the joos killed everyone and burned the place down, they did it so well, that it just seemed like nobody had lived there for a thousand years!

When the joos practice genocide, they do it really really really good!

Ok, back to the reading.

2 That they feared greatly, because Gibeon was a great city, as one of the royal cities, and because it was greater than Ai, and all the men thereof were mighty.

The axis of evil was scared because (if you remember from yesterday) Gibeon had made a peace treaty (kind of) with the people. The people of Gibeon then became water bearers and wood cutters.

So, the axis of evil decides they want to destroy Gibeon.

4 Come up unto me, and help me, that we may smite Gibeon: for it hath made peace with Joshua and with the children of Israel.

They got together and started to do it. Which scared the wusses from Gibeon.

6 And the men of Gibeon sent unto Joshua to the camp to Gilgal, saying, Slack not thy hand from thy servants; come up to us quickly, and save us, and help us: for all the kings of the Amorites that dwell in the mountains are gathered together against us.

So Joshua goes to help them. Which the LORD uses as a perfect time to kill off five kings at once.

8 And the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them into thine hand; there shall not a man of them stand before thee.


10 And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way that goeth up to Bethhoron, and smote them to Azekah, and unto Makkedah.

Slewing with a great slaughter is the best way to slew!

11 And it came to pass, as they fled from before Israel, and were in the going down to Bethhoron, that the LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them unto Azekah, and they died: they were more which died with hailstones than they whom the children of Israel slew with the sword.

Can you imagine how glorious that would have been to see, thousands of men dieing from hail. Not just that, but dieing as they were running away from the slewing with the great slaughter! PRAISE JESUS!!!

As the people were killing them so well, Joshua didn't want that day to end (who would really, when you kick as much ass as they did, you'd wish that day would never end). So Joshua asks God to make the day last longer.

12 Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.

13 And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.

That's how great our God is, he made the day last extra long! Just so the people could still kill. Isn't God GREAT?!

14 And there was no day like that before it or after it, that the LORD hearkened unto the voice of a man: for the LORD fought for Israel.

Heck no, I'd like to see some atheist pray to darwin and have him get the sun to stand still. What you got for that hippie?

16 But these five kings fled, and hid themselves in a cave at Makkedah.

The leaders of the axis of evil got away. Darn!

17 And it was told Joshua, saying, The five kings are found hid in a cave at Makkedah.

Didn't we just read that? Joshua has a real tendency to repeat himself.

18 And Joshua said, Roll great stones upon the mouth of the cave, and set men by it for to keep them:

19 And stay ye not, but pursue after your enemies, and smite the hindmost of them; suffer them not to enter into their cities: for the LORD your God hath delivered them into your hand.

These guys aren't Jesus, they weren't able to roll the stone away themselves. And wasn't it great that Joshua didn't make someone stand guard, but allowed all the soldiers to go and kill more?

20 And it came to pass, when Joshua and the children of Israel had made an end of slaying them with a very great slaughter, till they were consumed, that the rest which remained of them entered into fenced cities.

Slaying with a great slaughter. Brings a tear to my eye. Why don't we still have slayings with a great slaughter. No, we are stuck with "shock and awe". Imagine how much greater the fear would be if the army troops descended upon the taliban with swords? Granted, you'd need God in an overwatch position providing suppressive fire with hailstones, but still, wouldn't that be great?

22 Then said Joshua, Open the mouth of the cave, and bring out those five kings unto me out of the cave.

Oh, this is gonna be good.

23 And they did so, and brought forth those five kings unto him out of the cave, the king of Jerusalem, the king of Hebron, the king of Jarmuth, the king of Lachish, and the king of Eglon.

I can only imagine what they are gonna do to them.

24 And it came to pass, when they brought out those kings unto Joshua, that Joshua called for all the men of Israel, and said unto the captains of the men of war which went with him, Come near, put your feet upon the necks of these kings. And they came near, and put their feet upon the necks of them.

Again, with the repeating. Yes, they put their feet on their necks. What else?

26 And afterward Joshua smote them, and slew them, and hanged them on five trees: and they were hanging upon the trees until the evening.

YAY!!! Smote and slew and hung. I'm sure they were well hung. You don't want corpses of dead kings to just go wandering off.

27 And it came to pass at the time of the going down of the sun, that Joshua commanded, and they took them down off the trees, and cast them into the cave wherein they had been hid, and laid great stones in the cave's mouth, which remain until this very day.

Not today, not 1611, but when this was written.

Then Joshua takes the people and goes and destroys all the cities of those kings.

First to Makkedah, then Libnah, then Lachish, then Eglon, then Hebron, then Debir.

40 So Joshua smote all the country of the hills, and of the south, and of the vale, and of the springs, and all their kings: he left none remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the LORD God of Israel commanded.

Well, except for Rahab and the entire town of Gibeon. Other than that, they did EXACTLY as the LORD commanded.

42 And all these kings and their land did Joshua take at one time, because the LORD God of Israel fought for Israel.


Joshua 11

Since the first axis of evil was destroyed, a new one formed in it's wake.

This one was comprised of the towns of Hazor; Madon; Shimron; Achshaph; the Canaanites; the Amorites; the Hittites; the Perizzites; the Jebusites; and the Hivites.

So they all got together and went to go try to stop the horde of rampaging jews.

4 And they went out, they and all their hosts with them, much people, even as the sand that is upon the sea shore in multitude, with horses and chariots very many.

That's a lot of -ites.

6 And the LORD said unto Joshua, Be not afraid because of them: for to morrow about this time will I deliver them up all slain before Israel: thou shalt hough their horses, and burn their chariots with fire.

God kicks ASS!

8 And the LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel, who smote them, and chased them unto great Zidon, and unto Misrephothmaim, and unto the valley of Mizpeh eastward; and they smote them, until they left them none remaining.

Whoo hoo! Mis-rep-hoth-MAIM! Hell yeah!

9 And Joshua did unto them as the LORD bade him: he houghed their horses, and burnt their chariots with fire.


12 And all the cities of those kings, and all the kings of them, did Joshua take, and smote them with the edge of the sword, and he utterly destroyed them, as Moses the servant of the LORD commanded.

Man, Joshua is a great leader.

14 And all the spoil of these cities, and the cattle, the children of Israel took for a prey unto themselves; but every man they smote with the edge of the sword, until they had destroyed them, neither left they any to breathe.

When you kill someone, ensure you don't leave them to breathe.

18 Joshua made war a long time with all those kings.

This may be one of the best examples of a declarative sentence in the entire Bible (KJV1611). It's factual, to the point and leaves very little to the imagination.

19 There was not a city that made peace with the children of Israel, save the Hivites the inhabitants of Gibeon: all other they took in battle.

Damn those cunning Gibeonites. Why did the joos honour their contract with them, when it was based on a lie anyway?

23 So Joshua took the whole land, according to all that the LORD said unto Moses; and Joshua gave it for an inheritance unto Israel according to their divisions by their tribes. And the land rested from war.

Remember, it was a long time.

Joshua 12

This chapter is similar to the book of Numbers, except that it's a list of all the people that Joshua killed.

1 Now these are the kings of the land, which the children of Israel smote, and possessed their land on the other side Jordan toward the rising of the sun, from the river Arnon unto mount Hermon, and all the plain on the east:

Here goes;

Sihon; Og on the other side of Jordan.

On the Israel side of Jordan it was; the king of Jericho; Ai; Jerusalem; Hebron; Jarmuth; Lachish; Eglon; Gezer; Debir; Geder; Hormah; Arad; Libnah; Adullam; Makkedah; Bethel; Tappuah; Hepher; Aphek; Lasharon; Madon; Hazor; Shimronmeron (do dooo do do do); Achshaph; Taanach; Megiddo; Kedesh; Jokneam; Dor; Gilgal; Tirzah.

PRAISE JESUS!!! That's 31 rulers on the East! If it weren't for those damn Gibeonites, it would have been 32.

So what have we learned today?

1. With God helping stone the bad people, you really can slew them with slaughter.
2. The joos killed 31 kings in the promised land.


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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