[Brother V]

Deuteronomy 22-24

In today's Bible in a Year reading we near the end of Moses second sermon to the people, directly before the entrance into the promised land.

Today we get:

• LAWS
• LAWS
• LAWS
• LAWS
• (did I mention) LAWS

Deuteronomy 22

If you see a fellow joos ox (or anything) go astray, you have to be a good neighbour and take it back to them. If they aren't available, you have to take care of it until they get back.

Now, lets get some stand-alone, don't need no stinking "context" Bible (KJV1611) verses.

5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Cross dressing is a sin. Plain and simple. Men can't wear women's clothes, women can't wear Men's clothes. Unisex clothes are just plain old wrong!

9 Thou shalt not sow thy vineyard with divers seeds: lest the fruit of thy seed which thou hast sown, and the fruit of thy vineyard, be defiled.

Succotash is an abomination!

11 Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together.

What do these two laws have in common? They both are against "diversity". If you can't plant your field with different seeds, and you can't wear clothes of both cotton and polyester, do you think it's ok for a black man to marry a white woman?

13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,

14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

If this happens, then her parents have to present the bloody sheet to the people, and then the man has to give her father 100 shekels of silver; and he's stuck with her forever.

In this case, the marriage "contract" is for a virgin. If the woman is known not to be a virgin, then the above rules don't apply.

If she is supposed to be a virgin, and is found to not be after, then she gets to be stoned!

22 If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.

A married woman is another man's property. You wouldn't steal his donkey, so why would you steal his wife?

23 If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;

24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

A girl cannot be raped in the city, because somebody would have to hear her yelling for help.

25 But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die.

26 But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter:


Rape can only occur outside of the population center. Additionally, the above laws ONLY apply to betrothed (promised/engaged) women who are virgins.

28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;

29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

If a man rapes a virgin who is not betrothed (promised/engaged) then he has to pay for her, and marry her.

Deuteronomy 23

1 He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

No man with a vasectomy, or dickless, can go to church!

2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Just ask our poor former sister Ellymae. It's sad when people almost make it, but alas, you must be born in wedlock/betrothal/promised/engaged, or for 10 generations, you aren't allowed in the congregation. If you can't be in the congregation, then you can't go to heaven.

7 Thou shalt not abhor an Edomite; for he is thy brother: thou shalt not abhor an Egyptian; because thou wast a stranger in his land.

8 The children that are begotten of them shall enter into the congregation of the LORD in their third generation.

So if a person marries a direct Edomite (descendant of Esau) or and Egyptian, then their great grand children can worship.

When you go off to war:
12 Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:

13 And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:

14 For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.

Don't poop in the army's camp! Go outside the camp, dig a whole, do your business, then cover it up. God walks in the camp and he doesn't want to see your shit!

17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.

Oh, there are whores of them, but there shouldn't be. There are jooish fags, but there shouldn't be!

18 Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Obviously the whore would be of a different race. "The price of a dog" is a male prostitute.

19 Thou shalt not lend upon usury to thy brother; usury of money, usury of victuals, usury of any thing that is lent upon usury:

20 Unto a stranger thou mayest lend upon usury; but unto thy brother thou shalt not lend upon usury: that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all that thou settest thine hand to in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

Joos can't joo each other, they can, however, joo anyone else.

Deuteronomy 24

If a man divorces a woman, and she remarries, and get divorced again, or her new husband dies, she can't remarry the original husband.

5 When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.

Why would a newly married woman be unhappy and need cheer? Why would it take a full year?

7 If a man be found stealing any of his brethren of the children of Israel, and maketh merchandise of him, or selleth him; then that thief shall die; and thou shalt put evil away from among you.

You can't steal and sell fellow joos.

16 The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.

They inherit the sin, but they don't get put to death for it.

When you cut down your harvest, if you forget some, you have to leave it in the field, for the poor, widows and orphans.

You also can't glean all the grapes from the vineyard; and can't beat an olive tree twice.

So what have we learned today?

1. A 60% cotton blend is an abomination!
2. Widows and orphans get to eat the leftovers.
3. A man gets the death penalty for raping a betrothed virgin. He has to buy her, if she's not betrothed.

YIC
V

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Brother V

16 ...every man shall be put to death for his own sin.

What a beautiful sentiment.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Deut 22:6-7 If a bird's nest chance to be before thee in the way in any tree, or on the ground, whether they be young ones, or eggs, and the dam sitting upon the young, or upon the eggs, thou shalt not take the dam with the young:
But thou shalt in any wise let the dam go, and take the young to thee; that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest prolong thy days.

You can take and eat the baby birds out of a nest, but you have to let the mama bird go.

Deut 22:10 Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.

For two reasons -- firstly, because one animal is clean and the other is unclean. Secondly, the ox is stronger than the ass and will be pulling harder, so they will end up pulling the plow in a big circle rather than in a straight line.

Originally Posted by Brother V

Deut 22:13-21
If she is supposed to be a virgin, and is found to not be after, then she gets to be stoned!

It's up to her father to prove she was a virgin. Even if she was a virgin, but her father can't prove it, she gets stoned.

Originally Posted by Brother V

Deut 22:23-24
A girl cannot be raped in the city, because somebody would have to hear her yelling for help.

Right. If she doesn't scream for help, then it isn't rape, it's fornication.

Originally Posted by Brother V

Deut 22:28-29
If a man rapes a virgin who is not betrothed (promised/engaged) then he has to pay for her, and marry her.

Once again, we come across a passage that proves that women are the property of men. In this case, the rapist has committed a property crime against the girl's father, similar to vandalism. An unmarried non-virgin daughter is worthless to a father. The rapist pays for the daughter and has to support her for the rest of her life. The daughter's "feelings" don't enter into the equation. Some folks might object that it is cruel to force a woman to marry her rapist. So what! No decent man would want her now, and it isn't fair to the father to have to support her for the rest of her life.

Deut 24:6 No man shall take the nether or the upper millstone to pledge: for he taketh a man's life to pledge.

If a man can't repay his loan, you can't take away his means to earn a living as payment, because that is the same as taking his life away as payment.

Deut 24:8-9 Take heed in the plague of leprosy, that thou observe diligently, and do according to all that the priests the Levites shall teach you: as I commanded them, so ye shall observe to do.
Remember what the LORD thy God did unto Miriam by the way, after that ye were come forth out of Egypt.

Obey the Levites, or God will give you leprosy just like He did to Miriam.