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Default Day 338: Ephesians 4-6 - 11-20-2016, 03:40 AM

Chapter 4
Grow up

1 I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,

Paul is stuck in prison so he wants other Christians to go out and convert as many people as they can. By the way, Christians are all in this together, so no wandering off or getting lazy (Ephesians 4:1-13).

14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

Paul says to grow up, stop whimpering about things being hard or unpleasant, like young, snot-nosed children do, and do whatever needs to be done to convert people (Ephesians 4:14-16).

Shun the unbeliever

17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,

Paul warns Christians to stop acting like non-Christians because they are ignorant, spiritually slovenly, immoral, and obsessed and addicted to every perversion. They’re disgusting animals, inside and out, and you’re better than that (Ephesians 4:18-19).

22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

True Christians™ aren’t like regular humans. We’re like a new breed of human, a morally superior human. We’re like the X-men of mankind, with different spiritual strengths, and Jesus Almighty Himself created us this way so start acting like it (Ephesians 4:20-25)

26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
27 Neither give place to the devil.

As long as your anger is a righteous anger, you’ll be alright.

28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.

No hand-outs. If people are looking for a hand-out, they’re clearly not True Christians™, and so are morally inferior and need to be guided by the morally superior True Christian™. So make sure you’re acting like the morally superior creature Jesus made you to be (Ephesians 4:29-32).

Chapter 5 Don't be like Satan's sheeple

1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;

Monkey see, monkey do. If you see God act a certain way in the bible, that’s what you do. This includes rebuking and disciplining people even though some people just want to talk about Jesus’ pleasant interactions. People like to hear that the most (Ephesians 5:2-4)

5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

People like to say “God loves everyone,” and while that’s nowhere to be found in the bible, this is a good verse to remind sinners that it doesn't matter anyway. Immoral people don’t go to Heaven, full stop. They can imagine all they want that God loves them as they suffer in the lake of fire for all eternity, while the rest of us sit pretty in comfort and power.

6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.

Don’t be an idiot and get tricked by slick talkers. They’re morally disgusting and God won’t have anything to do with them. Don’t let their stink rub off on you. Stick with the bible (Ephesians 5:7-10)

11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Better yet, don’t even associate with people who aren’t True Christians™ unless you’re pointing out their flaws and telling them God hates them the way they are and they’ll never get to heaven unless they convert. Don’t even talk about the garbage they do or you might think about doing it yourself. Just rebuke them when you can’t avoid them, but avoid them when you can. That’s what makes you clever in God’s eyes (Ephesians 5:12-16).

18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

It’s okay to get drunk on religion, but don’t get slobbering drunk on wine. The bible doesn’t say anything about beer or whiskey, but no True Christian™ would drink a Mike’s Lemonade, and you can take that to the bank.

A woman’s place is in the home

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Women don’t know their place in society anymore. Feminism and the gay agenda have convinced millions of women to seek autonomy. They will carve their own ways, straight to the pits of hell.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

The bible tells us how Christ loves His bride: He disciplined His wife Israel and later disobedient churches in Revelation. Make no mistake, love takes work (Amos 4:6; Revelation 3:19; Ephesians 5:26-28).

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Notice God doesn’t even consider homosexuals.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

To sum it up, husbands train your wives with love, wives revere your husbands thoroughly.

Chapter 6
Shape up, kids

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Kids should obey their parents or watch their miserable little lives cut short.

4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Dads, no trolling the kids. They’re insanely gullible and there’s plenty of legitimate reasons to assert your authority.

5 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;

Paul goes on like this for a while. Know your station, don’t be uppity, stop nagging your boss for thing like overtime pay or maternity leave. Be grateful for what you have (Ephesians 6:6-8).

Armor of God

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

This whole “armor of God” image is to remind you that we can’t see the demons and evil spirits that follow us around and try and screw with us. Whenever something goes bad, it might be a demon or spirits trying to screw with you. So keep constant vigilance. Remember, it’s not a crazy conspiracy theory of its biblical (Ephesians 6:13-18).
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