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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-07-2016, 08:43 PM
Yes, yes, I know Pastor Zeke is out there campaigning to get out the vote among American expats in Costa Rica right now, but his houseboy said he would have no problem opening the gate so we can use Zeke's back yard and swimming pool.
I'm going to do one of my famous roast pigs...
I'm also looking into getting a nice fattened calf.
And, of course, I've hired some lovely caterers to dress up like old-timey servants from the plantation days...
Kind of a theme party, if you will.
So, who's coming? I can't wait to see you all!
1 Corinthians 10:31
31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-08-2016, 12:19 AM
That looks like fun! As this wasn't posted in the men's forum, should I assume wives are invited?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-08-2016, 12:32 AM
Certainly! And you are more than welcome to bring your lovely daughters as well.
Yes indeedy.
More than welcome.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,122
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-08-2016, 02:00 AM
I am SO looking forward to Donald's victory party. After he gives his victory speech it would be great to get him wired onto a big speaker to talk to us here in Freehold. I'm going to look into that.
Just think about the significance. The world's best Christians, us, celebrating the victory of the best Christian President.
I'm sure some of the LBC pastors will be there. We will need a prayer of thanksgiving loud enough to make our ears ring.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-08-2016, 02:50 AM
Shout Glory!
Of course the wives will be welcome to do the catering !
Faith_Machine, I discussed your duties with Bobby-Joe and you'll be on duty guarding the gate for any commie or demoncrat infiltration between 6 pm and 3 am when BJ will relieve you and the houseboys will guide you to the kitchenette for a late night snack. You can leave the roast pork at the kitchen entrance and take the 1˝-mile hike by the fence to the gates. Btw, when are you going to paint the doorframe you scratched during by absence?
Mr. Mayor, I'm expecting to get acquainted with some of the 1950's Mouton Rotschilds that you've been hiding in your cellar!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,122
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-08-2016, 04:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Shout Glory!
Of course the wives will be welcome to do the catering !
Mr. Mayor, I'm expecting to get acquainted with some of the 1950's Mouton Rotschilds that you've been hiding in your cellar!
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Pastor Zeke--How do you find out about such things? Well, I can part with a few bottles for such a celebration as this.
I think we have some fire works at City Hall left over from the 4th of July. I'll have staff bring them over.
By the way, do any of our ladies have some old pants suits? I thought it would be loads of fun to throw Hillary pant suits into the front door of the Polk County Democratic Party Headquarters and then run away.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-08-2016, 04:25 AM
I will be there!
I have free T-Shirts for all at the victory party. Of course, all free shirts are extra small, so any larger sizes will be available for an incremental nominal fee, depending on your girth.
I am so proud to see that almost all of Trump's supporters wear at least an XXL size. A sign that God has blessed Trump and us!
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 666
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-08-2016, 08:53 AM
I'd love to be there but the Milwaukee Freedom Militia has called its members together to deal with the remote contingency that the Clinton witch and her minions have been able to rig the election sufficiently to usurp the rightful victor.
Donald has warned us time and time again about this possibility and the MFM have taken certain steps. It would be imprudent to say much more, but rest assured, certain things have been stockpiled in remote locations known to few. We'll be ready if Trump calls us on the 9th.
Freedom Phil
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-08-2016, 09:21 AM
If Mr. Trump wins, I hope he can assume the oath of office en route to witness the immediate arrest of Hillary Clinton for treason; murder; murder for hire; vandalism; arson; theft; kidnapping; committing a felony with a motor vehicle; speeding in a school zone; operating a motor vehicle on a suspended license; failure for all vehicle occupants to wear a seat belt; violation of 75 Pa.C.S. § 4303(b), ("Every vehicle operated on a highway shall be equipped with a rear lighting system including, but not limited to, rear lamps, rear reflectors, stop lamps and license plate light, in conformance with regulations of the department."); burglary; obstruction of justice; armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices; theft of sacred objects; arson in a state prison; perjury; bigamy; inciting prostitution; kidnapping; extortion; receiving stolen goods; selling stolen goods; passing counterfeit money; and using marked cards.
LOCK!!! HER!!! UP!!!
P.S. I will bring a cheese plate and Triscuits.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,122
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 12:45 AM
It's election night. The pigs are on the coals and the beer on ice.
This is the night Donald brings it home for Jesus. Come and celebrate.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 02:30 AM
Could somebody please bring me a flashlight and a blanket? It's awful cold here at the far end of the gate where Pastor's got me watching for trespassers.
I kind of thought I would play a more central role this evening...
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 02:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
If Mr. Trump wins, I hope he can assume the oath of office en route to witness the immediate arrest of Hillary Clinton for treason; murder; murder for hire; vandalism; arson; theft; kidnapping; committing a felony with a motor vehicle; speeding in a school zone; operating a motor vehicle on a suspended license; failure for all vehicle occupants to wear a seat belt; violation of 75 Pa.C.S. § 4303(b), ("Every vehicle operated on a highway shall be equipped with a rear lighting system including, but not limited to, rear lamps, rear reflectors, stop lamps and license plate light, in conformance with regulations of the department."); burglary; obstruction of justice; armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices; theft of sacred objects; arson in a state prison; perjury; bigamy; inciting prostitution; kidnapping; extortion; receiving stolen goods; selling stolen goods; passing counterfeit money; and using marked cards.
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Don't forget suborning partial birth abortions. . . And knowing her, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that she took other people's lunches which were clearly marked in the break room fridge.
Judgingly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,122
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 02:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Could somebody please bring me a flashlight and a blanket? It's awful cold here at the far end of the gate where Pastor's got me watching for trespassers.
I kind of thought I would play a more central role this evening...
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To be honest, I'm kind of in the same boat. Pastor has me by the coals raking out pork. He himself is over there by the bonfire surrounded by several beautiful girls.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 03:06 AM
Why has the election not been called? Trump has 150 electorial collegiate votes, to the witch's 122?
This should have been put to bed hours ago. Stock futures are only down 500 points because there is a slight chance that crooked Hillary could win.
And I have not sold any t-shirts yet.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 666
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 08:40 AM
The Milwaukee Freedom Militia have been given a "stand down" order following the Clinton capitulation. No matter how much the Washington insiders tried to manipulate the election, the voice of The People, and The Steely Hand of God have ruled.
It is a glorious Day, and definitely big league.
Freedom Phil
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 09:02 AM
GLORY!
President Donald
HALLELUJAH!
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 09:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
And I have not sold any t-shirts yet.
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Brother Harold, just so that you're not left with any on your hands, we'll take all the remaining free ones - all the children are still XS size and the message still matters. Any left over can be used as dusters.
So sorry not to have been at the party in person, but the Skype arrangements worked well. What a fun night/morning it was! Here's to the next one in 2020!
YiC
Joanna
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 11:27 AM
I will eat so much pork and praise Jesus!!
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 12:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
Why has the election not been called? Trump has 150 electorial collegiate votes, to the witch's 122?
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The liberal media kept lying and lying until they finally caved to God's will.
On a related matter, does anyone know who Mike Pence is? I could have sworn Sarah Palin was Trump's vice president, but I seem to be mistaken.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Donald Tump VICTORY party tomorrow at Pastor Zeke's house! -
11-09-2016, 12:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
On a related matter, does anyone know who Mike Pence is?
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I was told that was just an anonymous sort-of placeholder name - like John Doe - until Mr Trump decided who he wanted as VP. Did it actually make it on to the ballot, then? Whoops!
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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