The
LGBT community, better known as the
sodomites, is constantly searching for new
victims to violate. The most burning questions of all True Christians™ when planning their holidays is
how to avoid this rectal rampaging and emerge from your well-earned vacation unscathed.
Prayer is obviously the most obvious solution, but
God will help those of us who do
not engage in risky behavior.
Proverbs 28:26
He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
Travel wisely! Easy to say, but to do so, we need data. Obviously, the
Bible is a perfect source but sometimes it is prudent to look into eyewitness testimony to supplement
Jesus. We need a
True Christian™ Safety Index for all countries. And there
isn't one!
Gosh! What to do!
The solution: We work by
exclusion. We look at the countries that are the most LGBT-friendly and
turn the tables upside down (just as
Jesus did in the Temple in Matthew 21:12). And, lo, there is an
LGBT Travel Index that we can use! We can see where
Jesus's enemies spend their holidays and
avoid those
God-forsaken places! Glory!
Luke 1:74
That he would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve him without fear,
Here are the most LGBT-friendly,
i.e., for the
True-Christian™ the most
dangerous countries to visit:
These are the countries that everyone should avoid. To visit them would mean
automatic anal rape of
all heterosexual, meat-eating, heavily persecuted Christian men, that is, the whole male population of the True Christian™ community susceptible to
anal rape. The inhabitants of these countries spend most of their time
contemplating anal rape interspaced by frantic activities of actual
anal rape.
Which countries should we visit then, you might ask?! Obviously, we should go to the places where the LGBT
pink money does
not flow. The
best and safest places to visit are as follows:
Chechnya, Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Iran and Yemen are the travel destinations of choice if you wish to avoid
rectal rape!. But... there is a
caveat:
Quote:
Negative LGBT laws may not reflect tourist areas. Remember that just because a country’s government may have negative LGBT policies, doesn’t mean it isn’t a great gay holiday destination. The Maldives, for example, has laws in place for locals, but during our visit to the Four Seasons Maldives, the majority of the guests at the resort were gay couples. Research hotel and resort brands before you book.
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Even in the
relative safety of Zambia, Russia, Malesia or Uganda, there
may be hotels that are dens of depravity with
occasional anal rape surprising the gullible
True Christian™ visitor. It is thus still best to check in advance that the resort is True Christian™ friendly, that is, anti-LGBT. But I dare say that your holidays in Turkmenistan or Sudan will be
totally safe if you supplement your pre-travel studies with some actual
Prayer.
This season the empty and pristine beaches of
Somalia expect your money.
THIS is what you can get away from the sodomistic swarm:
This is what you get in
Sweden:
For the True Christian™ holidaymaker, the choice is
easy! Praise
Jesus!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer