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Default What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 03:34 PM

Friends,

I just had a phone call from Sister Thumpers. She was in tears, totally panicking, hyperventilating, and even had forgotten her pie in the oven.

You may have noticed that the good Pastor has not graced our forums with his presence in the last few days. I assumed he was just on a trip with BTB, or perhaps buying shoes or enjoying his new Escalade.

But... Sister B. hasn't seen or heard from him either. I tried calling him just now, but no answer.

The DoF didn't have any current information either, and I could feel their worry as well.

His last PM to me was a bit weird. I can't publish it here - of course not - but in contained snippets like

"... double faced..."
"... bastard..."
"... surgical removal..."

Now, I thought nothing of if, as he often jokingly calls me "Belgian Bastard" And we all know that certain types of people should be removed from the face of this earth.

But... then I remembered this horrible troll who has been around for the last few months - accusing Pastor Zeke of having a bastard child with some harlot...

And then - forgive me Lord, and Landover - I suddenly has this ghastly feeling that this might be the reason for his sketchy PM and his absence from the boards.

I hope I'm completely wrong about this, but something is going on, that's for sure.

If there's anybody with more information about Pastor Zeke, please post it here. I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding and all will be revealed soon.

Won't it?


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open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 03:51 PM

Didn't he mention something about going ice fishing?


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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 03:54 PM

Pastor Ezekiel, will ewe please return to our Godly Church boosom?

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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 04:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Didn't he mention something about going ice fishing?
Oh, I thought he'd gone bear hunting.


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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 04:10 PM

IIRC, Sister BTB mentioned beaver hunting, but I'm not sure I understood correctly.

Sister, where are you? Could you tell us what YOU know please?


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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 04:11 PM

I thought he said he was going to rip the sinuses out of something (someone?).




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 04:20 PM

I did reply here to some unsaved trash that he had gone to Japan - At least I assume that was where he was going when he said, "The whole thing's gone west!"





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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 04:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Didn't he mention something about going ice fishing?
Yes Brother Nobar, I also heard him mention something about a big Ice hole.



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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 05:05 PM

I still haven't heard from him or anything about his icehole.

I'm worried sick!




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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 05:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
I still haven't heard from him or anything about his icehole.

I'm worried sick!
Not even a Godly text message? An SMS (Saviour® Managed Sign) ?

What did he mean when he said he felt a little "pussy" and needed some "relief"? Please Sister, you are closest to the man. We are worried sick too. Let's try to find out what happened!


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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 05:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
Not even a Godly text message? An SMS (Saviour® Managed Sign) ?

What did he mean when he said he felt a little "pussy" and needed some "relief"? Please Sister, you are closest to the man. We are worried sick too. Let's try to find out what happened!

He didn't mention anything about that to me or I'd have bought him a new kitten, being how much he enjoys my pussy, Penelope.

Wait a minute..... I thought I overheard him say something about a bunny ranch. Could that be it? I wondered to myself why he cared. It's not even close to Easter....?




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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 05:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
He didn't mention anything about that to me or I'd have bought him a new kitten, being how much he enjoys my pussy, Penelope.

Wait a minute..... I thought I overheard him say something about a bunny ranch. Could that be it? I wondered to myself why he cared. It's not even close to Easter....?
I don't know Sister, I'm as confused (well, almost) as you are. Could it have been "been ranchy"? You know fully well that English is not my mother's tongue.

I looked up "puss" and "cat" and came up with this site. But that doesn't seem to tell us much of his whereabouts.

Pastor Zeke! Talk to us! Are you near your ice hole?


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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 06:12 PM

Hope he died in a fire...
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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 06:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyGawd View Post
Hope he died in a fire...
How very "tolerant" of you.

How can you say such a cruel thing about such a Godly man?


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 06:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyGawd View Post
Hope he died in a fire...
What a horrible thing to say, you vile, Godless, hate-filled monster!

Pastor Ezekiel sent me a message a few days ago, folks, but he asked me not to share his whereabouts. I'm sorry, I cannot reveal his secret shame. An admin could probably read the PM, absolving me of any blame in the matter and allowing me to keep my word.
Suffice it to say, he'll be back as soon as . . . Nope, I can't say that, either. Sorry.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 06:28 PM

What was his secret i wont tell I'm a honest man
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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 06:29 PM

Perhaps he went to Japan to have a bunny removed from his icehole?


DO NOT ask questions! Just tithe. A LOT!
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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 06:30 PM

Quote:
secret shame
Lets have are imagination take over and figure what he did

Mine says he molested a child that attends his church

What does yours say?
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Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
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Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 06:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
llowing me to keep my word.
Suffice it to say, he'll be back as soon as . . . Nope, I can't say that, either. Sorry.
Reverend! Now really! This is NOT the time to play hide & zeke. We are at a loss. We are moaning. <sp?>

Now speak out, or for ever hold your tongue. The DoF knows where Salem is, capice?


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? - 01-12-2009, 06:32 PM

My imagination went too far there
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