General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
|
|
What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 03:34 PM
Friends,
I just had a phone call from Sister Thumpers. She was in tears, totally panicking, hyperventilating, and even had forgotten her pie in the oven.
You may have noticed that the good Pastor has not graced our forums with his presence in the last few days. I assumed he was just on a trip with BTB, or perhaps buying shoes or enjoying his new Escalade.
But... Sister B. hasn't seen or heard from him either. I tried calling him just now, but no answer.
The DoF didn't have any current information either, and I could feel their worry as well.
His last PM to me was a bit weird. I can't publish it here - of course not - but in contained snippets like
"... double faced..."
"... bastard..."
"... surgical removal..."
Now, I thought nothing of if, as he often jokingly calls me "Belgian Bastard" And we all know that certain types of people should be removed from the face of this earth.
But... then I remembered this horrible troll who has been around for the last few months - accusing Pastor Zeke of having a bastard child with some harlot...
And then - forgive me Lord, and Landover - I suddenly has this ghastly feeling that this might be the reason for his sketchy PM and his absence from the boards.
I hope I'm completely wrong about this, but something is going on, that's for sure.
If there's anybody with more information about Pastor Zeke, please post it here. I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding and all will be revealed soon.
Won't it?
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 03:51 PM
Didn't he mention something about going ice fishing?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
|
|
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 03:54 PM
Pastor Ezekiel, will ewe please return to our Godly Church boosom?
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 04:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Didn't he mention something about going ice fishing?
|
Oh, I thought he'd gone bear hunting.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 04:10 PM
IIRC, Sister BTB mentioned beaver hunting, but I'm not sure I understood correctly.
Sister, where are you? Could you tell us what YOU know please?
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
|
|
Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,146
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Freehold, IA.
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 04:11 PM
I thought he said he was going to rip the sinuses out of something (someone?).
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 04:20 PM
I did reply here to some unsaved trash that he had gone to Japan - At least I assume that was where he was going when he said, "The whole thing's gone west!"
|
|
Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 04:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Didn't he mention something about going ice fishing?
|
Yes Brother Nobar, I also heard him mention something about a big Ice hole.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 05:05 PM
I still haven't heard from him or anything about his icehole.
I'm worried sick!
|
|
Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 05:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
I still haven't heard from him or anything about his icehole.
I'm worried sick!
|
Not even a Godly text message? An SMS (Saviour® Managed Sign) ?
What did he mean when he said he felt a little " pussy" and needed some " relief"? Please Sister, you are closest to the man. We are worried sick too. Let's try to find out what happened!
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 05:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
Not even a Godly text message? An SMS (Saviour® Managed Sign) ?
What did he mean when he said he felt a little " pussy" and needed some " relief"? Please Sister, you are closest to the man. We are worried sick too. Let's try to find out what happened!
|
He didn't mention anything about that to me or I'd have bought him a new kitten, being how much he enjoys my pussy, Penelope.
Wait a minute..... I thought I overheard him say something about a bunny ranch. Could that be it? I wondered to myself why he cared. It's not even close to Easter....?
|
|
Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 05:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
He didn't mention anything about that to me or I'd have bought him a new kitten, being how much he enjoys my pussy, Penelope.
Wait a minute..... I thought I overheard him say something about a bunny ranch. Could that be it? I wondered to myself why he cared. It's not even close to Easter....?
|
I don't know Sister, I'm as confused (well, almost) as you are. Could it have been "been ranchy"? You know fully well that English is not my mother's tongue.
I looked up "puss" and "cat" and came up with this site. But that doesn't seem to tell us much of his whereabouts.
Pastor Zeke! Talk to us! Are you near your ice hole?
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 10
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Not saying, "True Christians™" will come and molest me
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 06:12 PM
Hope he died in a fire...
|
|
Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 06:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyGawd
Hope he died in a fire...
|
How very "tolerant" of you.
How can you say such a cruel thing about such a Godly man?
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 06:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyGawd
Hope he died in a fire...
|
What a horrible thing to say, you vile, Godless, hate-filled monster!
Pastor Ezekiel sent me a message a few days ago, folks, but he asked me not to share his whereabouts. I'm sorry, I cannot reveal his secret shame. An admin could probably read the PM, absolving me of any blame in the matter and allowing me to keep my word.
Suffice it to say, he'll be back as soon as . . . Nope, I can't say that, either. Sorry.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 8
Join Date: Jan 2009
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 06:28 PM
What was his secret i wont tell I'm a honest man
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 103
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Sin City, which is ANY city that is not Landover.
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 06:29 PM
Perhaps he went to Japan to have a bunny removed from his icehole?
DO NOT ask questions! Just tithe. A LOT!
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 10
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Not saying, "True Christians™" will come and molest me
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 06:30 PM
Lets have are imagination take over and figure what he did
Mine says he molested a child that attends his church
What does yours say?
|
|
Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 06:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
llowing me to keep my word.
Suffice it to say, he'll be back as soon as . . . Nope, I can't say that, either. Sorry.
|
Reverend! Now really! This is NOT the time to play hide & zeke. We are at a loss. We are moaning. <sp?>
Now speak out, or for ever hold your tongue. The DoF knows where Salem is, capice?
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 8
Join Date: Jan 2009
|
|
Re: What happened to Pastor Ezekiel? -
01-12-2009, 06:32 PM
My imagination went too far there
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|