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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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GailtheFail GailtheFail is offline
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Default Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 03:49 AM

So I recently joined because I have a crisis. That is, I was formerly part of the emo suicide cult called "My Chemical Romance" and your posts on them have brought to light where I have gone wrong and strayed from the Lord. I need help. I don't think I'll be able to go to heaven no matter how much I pray for my sins. Can I be saved?
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Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 03:54 AM

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Originally Posted by GailtheFail View Post
Can I be saved?

God's promise can be found in Romans 6:23.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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GailtheFail GailtheFail is offline
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 04:00 AM

But what does that mean? Can I be exonerated or am I already too late? I don't understand!
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Sifcah Sifcah is offline
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 04:20 AM

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Originally Posted by GailtheFail View Post
So I recently joined because I have a crisis. That is, I was formerly part of the emo suicide cult called "My Chemical Romance" and your posts on them have brought to light where I have gone wrong and strayed from the Lord. I need help. I don't think I'll be able to go to heaven no matter how much I pray for my sins. Can I be saved?
As long as you have renounced your sinful, Satanic ways you may be saved, if God feels you are worthy of being in His kingdom.
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GailtheFail GailtheFail is offline
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 04:26 AM

Thank you Louis! I'm so happy to get Eternal Life with Him and His son, our merciful Lord. I can finally rest in peace knowing that one day, my lord will take me home.
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 04:34 AM

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Originally Posted by GailtheFail View Post
Thank you Louis! I'm so happy to get Eternal Life with Him and His son, our merciful Lord. I can finally rest in peace knowing that one day, my lord will take me home.
You are welcome, but do not let Satan take hold of your soul or steal you from the path toward our Saviour again, lest you wish to be thrown into the pits of Hell with the rest of the sinners.
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 04:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GailtheFail View Post
So I recently joined because I have a crisis. That is, I was formerly part of the emo suicide cult called "My Chemical Romance" and your posts on them have brought to light where I have gone wrong and strayed from the Lord. I need help. I don't think I'll be able to go to heaven no matter how much I pray for my sins. Can I be saved?
Hello, and welcome to our friendly forums! Please take the time to introduce yourself like a civilized Christian. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. For your information, the Holy Ghost has co-authored a primer with our very own, Bob4God: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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JokerSyndrome JokerSyndrome is offline
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 06:43 AM

I'm sorry, but there is not much that you can do to be saved from the dreaded MCR.
However, if you truly wish to repent, you must sacrifice yourself to the lord using embalming tools and an incompleted bible, preferably Genesis.

Good luck.

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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 06:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GailtheFail View Post
So I recently joined because I have a crisis. That is, I was formerly part of the emo suicide cult called "My Chemical Romance" and your posts on them have brought to light where I have gone wrong and strayed from the Lord. I need help. I don't think I'll be able to go to heaven no matter how much I pray for my sins. Can I be saved?
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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GailtheFail GailtheFail is offline
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 07:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JokerSyndrome View Post
I'm sorry, but there is not much that you can do to be saved from the dreaded MCR.
However, if you truly wish to repent, you must sacrifice yourself to the lord using embalming tools and an incompleted bible, preferably Genesis.

Good luck.

Kindly explain to me what you meant by this statement. Apologies, I am rather ignorant as to the ways of our Lord.
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Esther B. Esther B. is offline
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 06:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JokerSyndrome View Post
I'm sorry, but there is not much that you can do to be saved from the dreaded MCR.
However, if you truly wish to repent, you must sacrifice yourself to the lord using embalming tools and an incompleted bible, preferably Genesis.

Good luck.

You couldn't be farther from the truth. There is a lot that a person can do to be saved from the emo cult.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GailtheFail View Post
Kindly explain to me what you meant by this statement. Apologies, I am rather ignorant as to the ways of our Lord.
Gail, it seems like this heathen is trying to get in the way of your path to Salvation. If you wish to be saved, you must repent, buy a KJV 1611 Bible, and read it from Genesis to Revelation. Once you have done that, you have to pray and follow every word that you read in your Bible.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
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Default Re: Please help True Christians! - 06-14-2015, 06:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GailtheFail View Post
Kindly explain to me what you meant by this statement. Apologies, I am rather ignorant as to the ways of our Lord.
If you want to be Saved® you simply need to read the Bible(KJV1611) cover to cover: don't skip bits (not even the genealogies).

Once you have accepted Jesus yu can start to follow the good book to the letter.

2nd Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness"
Deuteronomy 4:2 "Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you."
Revelation 22:18-19 "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book."
Psalm 12:6-7 "The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever."

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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