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Default Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-06-2011, 10:18 PM

As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

I await your reply.



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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 07:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like any person in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety know Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

I await your reply.
It's almost like the bloody sword of Jesus.

This Godly story brought tears of joy to my eyes. Nothing is more Godly than hearing about a Godly Marine thrusting his K-bar into the throat of some Godless gook.



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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 08:41 AM

I've been trying to think of a reply, but after reading your beautiful story, I can't formulate myself through the tears of wonder that stream down my face. Truly, Pastor Pistle is one who loves Jesus.
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 08:57 AM

Words can not express my feelings when I hear stories like this.


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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 06:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
Words can not express my feelings when I hear stories like this.
Indeed moving. Who among us wasn't moved to tears of joy when we listened to Pastor Pistle recount it during a sermon? PROOF POSITIVE That Christ is ALIVE and ACTIVE in the world. GLORY!

And I see no atheists has the guts to explain this powerful witnessing. I guess "Origins" says nothing about first person experience.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 09:56 PM

Not only is this a beautiful story that clearly demonstrates the love of Jesus Christ and the glory God, I also find it truly inspiring. It is clear God wants us to go out with our own knives and rip the throats out of the filthy yellow Gooks that have infiltrated the towns where we live.
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 11:45 PM

Can you remember what the Bible says about obeying secular law?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-08-2011, 11:03 PM

Science has proven that adrenaline can cause an individual to use the least amount of information to take action. In example, it was stated in this touching story that the individual saw a brief flash of light due to an explosion in the area that revealed an enemy soldier. Knowing that there was no ammo left to open fire, the next thing a soldier is trained for is to use hand-to-hand combat.
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-09-2011, 09:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRapture View Post
Science has proven that adrenaline can cause an individual to use the least amount of information to take action. In example, it was stated in this touching story that the individual saw a brief flash of light due to an explosion in the area that revealed an enemy soldier. Knowing that there was no ammo left to open fire, the next thing a soldier is trained for is to use hand-to-hand combat.
Scientifically speaking, Occam's razor states "the simpler explanation is more likely the correct one."

It's a lot simpler to say God did it, so even science agrees that this was a miracle.
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-11-2011, 02:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Indeed moving. Who among us wasn't moved to tears of joy when we listened to Pastor Pistle recount it during a sermon? PROOF POSITIVE That Christ is ALIVE and ACTIVE in the world. GLORY!

And I see no atheists has the guts to explain this powerful witnessing. I guess "Origins" says nothing about first person experience.
"Origins", Brother? What's that? Some sort of anti-Christian hate site, like the Huff'n'puff Post?


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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-11-2011, 04:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
"Origins", Brother? What's that? Some sort of anti-Christian hate site, like the Huff'n'puff Post?
Its the book of that no good rascal Darwin. It's the Atheists Bible and filled with secularist chants and rituals so they know how to properly abort babies for Satan.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRapture View Post
Science has proven that adrenaline can cause an individual to use the least amount of information to take action. In example, it was stated in this touching story that the individual saw a brief flash of light due to an explosion in the area that revealed an enemy soldier. Knowing that there was no ammo left to open fire, the next thing a soldier is trained for is to use hand-to-hand combat.
That was never in question. It's Pastor Pistle FIRST HAND experience with our Loving Savior Jesus Christ that I was talking about.

You going to try to say Jesus didn't help Pistle kill that viet cong soldier?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-11-2011, 04:29 PM

Pasta Pizzle! Pastor AL E. PISTLE! So Manly and so Godly! PLEASE return to Your Church Home!
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-23-2011, 07:43 PM

Perhaps the story is simply untrue and therefore needs to religious/ atheist explanation at all?
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-23-2011, 07:50 PM

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Originally Posted by incapableofthought View Post
Perhaps the story is simply untrue and therefore needs to religious/ atheist explanation at all?
This the standard of writing for collages in New England now?



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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-24-2011, 04:34 AM

It was not the hand of your sky fairy that saved him, but the Great Pastafarian Camouflage...


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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-24-2011, 01:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

I await your reply.
Oh the hypocrisy.

If you're a supposed "real Catholic", you follow the bible word for word and abide by it.

So, "thou shalt not kill" is a complete crock of sh*t now is it because this clown felt the "saviour's" presence over him? Spare me.

Come on mate. Anyone can make anything up. Ever hear of the saying, "if you 100% believe it, it's not a lie".

I could turn around tomorrow and say that the "lord" came to me in my sleep and you people would lap it up.

You're entitled to your beliefs like I'm entitled to my (non) beliefs but this is nothing more than a fairy tale.
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-24-2011, 02:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRapture View Post
Science has proven that adrenaline can cause an individual to use the least amount of information to take action. In example, it was stated in this touching story that the individual saw a brief flash of light due to an explosion in the area that revealed an enemy soldier. Knowing that there was no ammo left to open fire, the next thing a soldier is trained for is to use hand-to-hand combat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by incapableofthought View Post
Perhaps the story is simply untrue and therefore needs to religious/ atheist explanation at all?
And there you have it. People believe anything a scientist says but when a religious person describes his personal experience of God, they scramble to deny it, just as they deny God's first-hand testimony of the creation of the world as set down in Genesis. This bigotry toward Christians has got to stop!


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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-24-2011, 02:56 PM

=SantosLHalper;717373]
Quote:
Oh the hypocrisy.

If you're a supposed "real Catholic", you follow the bible word for word and abide by it.
Are you implying that Pastor Pistle is a papist dog, a Mary worshiping, ring kissing Cathloic? Son this is a Baptist Church, we are Christians.


Quote:
So, "thou shalt not kill" is a complete crock of sh*t now is it because this clown felt the "saviour's" presence over him? Spare me.
Have you ever read the Holy Bible? God gives us many circumstances in which killing has been approved and highly recommended.


Quote:
Come on mate. Anyone can make anything up. Ever hear of the saying, "if you 100% believe it, it's not a lie".
Are you implying that the story is a lie? I think not its been documented in the Church records.


Quote:
I could turn around tomorrow and say that the "lord" came to me in my sleep and you people would lap it up.
Jesus has indeed visited you, He sent you here to hear His word. Praise Jesus, now all you have to do is read and listen.
Quote:
You're entitled to your beliefs like I'm entitled to my (non) beliefs but this is nothing more than a fairy tale
Umm no WE are enlightened in our beliefs, you are left in the dark cold abyss of God Mockery.
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Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-24-2011, 03:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SantosLHalper View Post
Oh the hypocrisy.

If you're a supposed "real Catholic", you follow the bible word for word and abide by it.

So, "thou shalt not kill" is a complete crock of sh*t now is it because this clown felt the "saviour's" presence over him? Spare me.

Come on mate. Anyone can make anything up. Ever hear of the saying, "if you 100% believe it, it's not a lie".

I could turn around tomorrow and say that the "lord" came to me in my sleep and you people would lap it up.

You're entitled to your beliefs like I'm entitled to my (non) beliefs but this is nothing more than a fairy tale.
Friend,

As I said, we have Pastor Pistle's knife and Bible, all over with the man's blood in our church, not to mention the citation for bravery the good Pastor got for it. The US Marine Corps says it happened so it happened.

Now quit ducking the question; how did the Pastor knife that guy the throat in the dark his eyes dazzled without the hand of God?



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Cool Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-03-2011, 08:40 AM

hahaha maybe someone could explain it, if it had been true. Karl Marx died in 1883, long before any "Vietkong". Also, he died after being ill for 15 months.
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