[MisterM]

This fall I started my online studies at LBC University to get degree in Creation Science. While writing my study "God loves Republican Party" on a course Biblically correct interpretation of statistical data using Landoverian method of Pastoral advise, I found and interesting fact about effects of voting. I will quote my study, Chapter 11 - Republicans are the most heterosexual human beings

...found interesting correlation between sexuality and voting. Here are the are the rough figures for the 1996 and 2000 gaysexual votes.

1996
CLINTON 66%
DOLE 23%
PEROT 7%

2000
AL GORE (D) 70% 2.9 million
GEORGE W. BUSH ® 25% 1.1 million
RALPH NADER (Grn) 4% 165,000

As first glance conclusion that can be made (see appendix c for more detailed data), is that gays vote more and more Democrats. This is true, Democracts love gays and their deadly disease spreading lifestyle. But there is more under it. I wanted to dig under the gaysexual skin and see that is it just that some gaysexuals have voted Republic Party and the new more Biblical approach has turned them to Democracts. I wanted this to be correlated to the ex-gay people, to see if there was hidden trend there.

Freehold, Iowa, has largest numbers of ex-gays per square mile in the whole world and it gave me perfect opportunity. Through anonymous survey held by Freehold Pastors during the Service, I was able to get statistically relevant data. The results are impressive. The data and the analysis is detailed in the appendix d, but here are the most interested parts:

Which party did you vote before finding Jesus?

Democrats: 80%
Republicans: 15%
Others: 1%
Did not vote: 4%

Which party did you vote after finding Jesus?

Democrats: 0%
Republicans: 100%
Others: 0%
Did not vote: 0%
(original poll had one voting democrats, but Pastor send me new figures next week with a note that there is no-one voting democrats in Freehold...anymore)

The key point of this survey was next question.

Does voting Republicans help you stay clear of gaysexual deadstyle?

Yes - It makes makes me heterosexual - 80%
No - I have homosexual urges, I want to have private discussion with Pastor Ezekiel: 0%
Yes - But I still want private counseling : 20%

These are groundbreaking results. If ex-gays all vote Republicans and they feel it helps them to remain ex-gays, we can only conclude that voting Republicans turns people to heterosexuals. This leads to another conclusion. The number of gays is not falling which must mean that new gays must come from the voters of Democrats. Thus we can say: Voting Democrats makes you gay!

As you can see, Democrats are not only gay enablers, they are gay makers while voting republicans can lead to eternal salvation!

YiC, M

[Johny Joe Hold]

This is ground-breaking research, M. It has world-wide implications.

When the public, and its officals, learn we can break the back of the growing homer threat, our future will be filled with sunshine instead of darkness.

[MisterM]

Talking about world wide implications, I need help with my study. I'm going to include chapter about LBC approved parties all around world. Thus I ask all True Christians™ to post statistic about gay votes in country they are currently living. Of course it is not only criteria, but least number of gay votes is the most important factor when deciding who to vote.
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[lukasekman]

This is great news. We now know that pepper spray cure female fags, and voting Republican works as a voluntary treatment.
Remember that most earlier treatments to homosexuality was often life-threatening, if they worked at all.

I believe it's because God finally smote the gay lord Steve Jobs. Without his protection, homosexuality as an evil spiritual power is weakened, and can be cure by non-lethal ways. I can finally refudiate my idea about dumping 2000 fags in the Baltic Sea.