Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
Dearest Naomi!
How lovely of you to reach out! It's been a difficult time as widow, as I have been deep in my duty of raising my children without the aid of my husband, who resides in Heaven, hallelujah!
Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
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Whatever. Haven't you gotten over that dude yet, Liz? You had your chance and your dad took way too much time deciding on me, when it is obvious that I am a prize. Sure, it's sad how he was killed but the person that did it probably thought he was going to marry you and show you what a real man is like rather than treating you like some kid factory. He probably wanted to interject some passion into your life and show you what life can be when you wear a dress that comes a few inches above the knee and show him around California where he could meet glamorous stars and live the high life.
Um - sinful, yes - but wow the fun he could have had. But no, you had to go and listen to your old man, who could just as easily be the next victim. That's not going to happen, though, so don't worry. I think the killer has moved on to other things. Perhaps even other genders. (I am merely speculating here)
Well, have a nice Sunday, Sister. As a True Christian™ man, I would recommend a bottle of Rumchata and a gallon of vanilla bean ice cream while watching reruns of Sex and the City.
In Christian Love and Virtuous Regard,
BrotherLarry