[Daisy Mae Johnson]

EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE BLOODY HELL TRAIN. Not Wobbles and Bores, Life Style Thread.

NEXT PASSENGER PLEASE

Clickety Clack goes the Train to HELL!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

I don't use a/c. I use open windows and ceiling fans - much more energy efficient.

And as we all know, hell is just full of those.

[Nobar King]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

I don't use a/c. I use open windows and ceiling fans - much more energy efficient.

I guess going to the movies on a hot afternoon is out of the question. And don't bother going into the ATM salon at any bank in Mexico just to get out of the heat.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

The "lovely" was sarcasm. Since you seem to be too slow to catch that, I'll be sure to put next to any such comments so you can easily recognize them.

Now it was sarcasm. Yet another 180 degree turn. I've had enough of your vacillating, harlot.

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

[Nobar King]

Randy Johnson seeking rebate for "secret" daughter's child support

ATHLETES WITH ILLEGITIMATE KIDS

THE HEAVYWEIGHTS

• Calvin Murphy - 14 illegitimate kids by 9 women. You sir are our current champion.
• Travis Henry - 9 kids by 9 women. All of this by 28. Impressive. He is on pace to catch Calvin. The fact that he's broke from paying child support may slow him down though.
• Ex-San Antonio Spur Willie Anderson - 9 illegitimate kids. If only his field goal percentage had been as high as his impregnation rate.
• Evander Holyfield - 9 illegitimate kids. Has more kids than brain cells left.
• NEW MEMBER Jason Caffey - 8 kids by 7 women.
• Shawn Kemp - 7 illegitimate kids by 6 women. Gives his nickname of the Reign Man new meaning.
• Derrick Thomas - 7 illegitimate kids by 5 women. He died at 33. Let's just leave it at that.

THE MIDDLEWEIGHTS

• NEW MEMBER Ray Lewis - 6 kids by 4 women.
• NEW MEMBER Marshall Faulk - 6 kids by 3 women. Which is probably why he considered coming out of retirement.
• Larry Johnson (basketball) - 5 kids by 4 women. 3 are illegitimate.
• Charles Rogers - Uber-NFL Draft bust reportedly has 5 illegitimate kids...and no paycheck. Definitely the makings of a solid family.
• Vlad Guerrero - 4 kids by 4 women.
• Santonio Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids by two women, before leaving college.
• Former Celtic Greg Minor - 3 illegitimate kids.
• Ricky Williams - 3 illegitimate kids. Maybe that's why he smokes so much weed.
• Priest Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids. You best keep running Priest.
• Chad Johnson - Has 3 illegitimate kids.
• Shannon "Horseface" Sharpe - 3 as well.
• Mike Bibby - apparently had two before leaving 'Zona.

THE LIGHTNING FAST GROUP
Willis McGahee - 3 illegitimate kids in 2 years in Buffalo. Not a lot to do in Buffalo, except make babies. Lots and lots of babies.

THE GUYS YOU WOULDN'T EXPECT GROUP

• Walter Herrmann
• Peja Stojakovic
• Wizards Coach Eddie Jordan
• NHL player Daniel Alfredsson
• NHL player Richard Zednik
• Mike Miller
• Marvin Harrison
• Tracy McGrady

THE FAMOUS OLD GUYS GROUP

• Steve Garvey - 2 illegitimate kids by 2 women.
• Dr. J - 2 illegitimate kids by 2 women. I actually met one of them.
• Larry Bird
• Isiah Thomas
• Jim Palmer
• Darryl Strawberry
• Pete Rose
• Tug McGraw

THE GETTING A HEAD START GROUP
Gary Sheffield - Had 2 illegitimate kids by age 17. Added a few more later on in life.

THE THAT'S JUST WRONG GROUP
Elijah Dukes - recently impregnated a 17-year-old foster child. Also has 4 more illegitimate kids - making him a middleweight as well.

THE QB KIDS GROUP
Matt Leinart - already has one, my guess is he's working hard on another while that collar bone heals.
Tom Brady - the dream baby is here.

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THIS GUY GROUP
Noel Devine - He's not an official member yet because he's not a pro. He's an incoming freshman at WV. But he had 2 illegitimate kids in high school, and possibly more. Keep it Noel, a good start, but you've got a long way to go.

GUYS WITH AT LEAST ONE ILLEGITIMATE KID

• Antawn Jamison
• Chipper Jones
• DeShawn Stevenson
• Cliff Floyd
• Mark Messier
• Brian Urlacher
• Rae Carruth - Yes, he fathered an illegitimate kid before the incident where he had his pregnant girlfriend gunned down.
• Oscar De La Hoya
• Juan Gonzalez
• Andre Rison
• David Justice
• Andruw Jones
• Alonzo Spellman
• Dave Meggett
• Gary Payton - From a reader: The best part about Gary Payton is that his illegitimate kid is named "Gary Payton, Jr." so that when his wife (or whatever) had a kid, and he wanted a junior, he couldn't do it without major confusion, so he named his legitimate kid "Gary Payton II."
• Stephon Marbury
• Jason Kidd
• Allen Iverson
• Latrell Sprewell
• Juwan Howard
• Kenny Anderson
• Scottie Pippen
• Hakeem Olajuwon
• Patrick Ewing
• Randy Johnson

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

CHOOOO CHOOOO!

MORE RIDERS ON THE TRAIN, I SEE?




And I'm sure a few more of the devil's kids will be coming aboard as well-If they weren't the devil's kids, then why would they be such hateful bigots?

[Remy Lebeau]

Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters

You don't get it, do you? Dear Brother-in-Christ Hatchet wanted to warn the precious children away from eternal damnation, and for that you call him a pervert? You really do owe him an apology.

She can't help but interpret every he says in sexual terms. She is clearly infatuated with dear brother Hatchet and has fallen under the Hatch Effect™.

Danceless in Bore is one messed up cookie who relishes in hatred. Being a no good Nazi she hates all non-white sub races, but insists on spreading her legs for all the tinted masses be they slants, spics, dots heads, sand coons, or nigra. Her hatred for Christianity is evident in her fulfillment of her sick depraved libidinous advances on Brother Hatchet. I have no doubt that she will be sending Brother Hatchet pictures of herself in lingerie or humping and caressing trees like she did with me.

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

I guess going to the movies on a hot afternoon is out of the question.

I said I don't use it - I have no control over anyone else using it. And the cineplexes generally keep it so cold that I bring a jacket to the movies with me in August.

And don't bother going into the ATM salon at any bank in Mexico just to get out of the heat.

I don't mind heat.

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

[Remy Lebeau]

Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin

CHOOOO CHOOOO!

MORE RIDERS ON THE TRAIN, I SEE?




And I'm sure a few more of the devil's kids will be coming aboard as well-If they weren't the devil's kids, then why would they be such hateful bigots?

This is the HELL TRAIN, NOT the HEAVEN EXPRESS

[Old Man Hatchet]

Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau

She can't help but interpret every he says in sexual terms. She is clearly infatuated with dear brother Hatchet and has fallen under the Hatch Effect™.

Danceless in Bore is one messed up cookie who relishes in hatred. Being a no good Nazi she hates all non-white sub races, but insists on spreading her legs for all the tinted masses be they slants, spics, dots heads, sand coons, or nigra. Her hatred for Christianity is evident in her fulfillment of her sick depraved libidinous advances on Brother Hatchet. I have no doubt that she will be sending Brother Hatchet pictures of herself in lingerie or humping and caressing trees like she did with me.

Very insightful, Brother Remy. You have a good, nappy head on your shoulders.

As for you, Dances--YOU WILL NEVER KNOW MY TALLYWACKER, so quit trying to get in my vintage, polyester trousers.

[Father Peter Rast]

Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin

CHOOOO CHOOOO!

MORE RIDERS ON THE TRAIN, I SEE?




And I'm sure a few more of the devil's kids will be coming aboard as well-If they weren't the devil's kids, then why would they be such hateful bigots?

Now, Albert, let's not sink to their level. Since Vatican II, Holy Mother Rome teaches that while the churches of the heretic slime separated brethren are deficient, Our Lord can use them too to lead to salvation.

I remember having discussed this with you before, when you were young. Even though Sister Benigna Consolata said that you were as thick as a brick, the Lord put a special burden on my heart to ensure that you would learn our holy faith and grow up to be a good Catholic.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau

She can't help but interpret every he says in sexual terms. She is clearly infatuated with dear brother Hatchet and has fallen under the Hatch Effect™.

Danceless in Bore is one messed up cookie who relishes in hatred. Being a no good Nazi she hates all non-white sub races, but insists on spreading her legs for all the tinted masses be they slants, spics, dots heads, sand coons, or nigra. Her hatred for Christianity is evident in her fulfillment of her sick depraved libidinous advances on Brother Hatchet. I have no doubt that she will be sending Brother Hatchet pictures of herself in lingerie or humping and caressing trees like she did with me.

Any images you have of me are strictly in your imagination.

[ChuckieGirl666]

DON'T YOU ASSHATS EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTIN' THE OLSEN TWINS ON THIS LIST !!!!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by ChuckieGirl666

DON'T YOU ASSHATS EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTIN' THE OLSEN TWINS ON THIS LIST !!!!

Okay, then how about you?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet

Very insightful, Brother Remy. You have a good, nappy head on your shoulders.

As for you, Dances--YOU WILL NEVER KNOW MY TALLYWACKER, so quit trying to get in my vintage, polyester trousers.

Your penis - ick.

Polyester - double ick.

Your penis + polyester - triple ick.

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

Originally Posted by Father Peter Rast

Now, Albert, let's not sink to their level. Since Vatican II, Holy Mother Rome teaches that while the churches of the heretic slime separated brethren are deficient, Our Lord can use them too to lead to salvation.

I remember having discussed this with you before, when you were young. Even though Sister Benigna Consolata said that you were as thick as a brick, the Lord put a special burden on my heart to ensure that you would learn our holy faith and grow up to be a good Catholic.

"Separated Brethren" would be the Orthodox, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Episcopalians, Congregationalists, Pentecostals, Old Catholics, Disciples of Christ, Church of God in Christ, and a few others, those who believe in Jesus' message of love for your fellow man.

This is a foreign concept to the fake "Christians" at LBC, so I've pretty much given up on reasoning (it's failed)