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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-21-2019, 01:36 PM
Dearest Sister in Christ,
May you serve your husband and whole children happily (with the help of your half children) on this joyous day! Your constant efforts to educate the Sinner Swarm have not gone unnoticed and I am quite sure that you'll have a relatively prestigious position in Paradise just below the men and the senior females in the infinite bosom of Christ. Next year in Heaven?
1 Peter 5:5
Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,899
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-21-2019, 04:43 PM
Oh, my stars! I am thrilled to learn that it's your blessed birthday, dear Sister Joanna. May you have a most pleasant day, and may the good continue to bless you and enrich your happiness on a daily basis. I've made a little cake in your honor, which should be arriving at your house shortly.
A very Happy Birthday and a blessed day to you, dear Sister Joanna,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-21-2019, 06:07 PM
My friend and sister in Jesus
I asked my Heavenly Father
To bless you on this day
I asked Him to please grant you
All the things for which you pray.
He told me that He loves you
Your service brings Him joy
He said He plans to send you
A set of new twin boys.
Happiest of days my lovely friend
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-21-2019, 08:16 PM
Oh, thank you for remembering, Brothers and Sisters. I am more touched than I can say.
Sister Isabella, the cake arrived in good time for afternoon tea and just imagine everyone's delight when we lifted off that silly crown thing (did you find it in a joke shop?) to find, underneath, the gorgeous bald eagle so beautifully executed in marzipan. Also, the outer frosting around the rim peeled off perfectly to reveal the Stars and Stripes underneath. I wish our patisserie chef had even half your skills.
Brother Larry, that's such a beautiful thought, though my youngest boy (a singleton, as yet unnamed) is only 6 days old. That makes 12 boys and only one girl, so we have been 92.3% blessed. We plan to work on complying with God's Holy Will at the earliest opportunity. But perhaps, as Brother Professor Dr White suggests, we will meet in Heaven long before that.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-21-2019, 08:44 PM
Dear Sister Mrs. Lytton-Vasey:
Twelve boys and only one girl!? Why you have outdone Leah, herself. . .Or rather your husband has outdone Jacob. It's so nice that he didn't have to spring for the upkeep on another sister-wife and two servant girl junior wives.
Oh, and happy birthday.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-22-2019, 03:18 AM
Sorry I'm late to the party, Sister Joanna. Here is a very modest cake for you:
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-22-2019, 04:07 AM
WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK?! MY birthday was a week ago, July 15 and it is actually shown ON THIS VERY PAGE. And NO-ONE of you CAME! I waited for visitors for hours but eventually did not bother get outta the bed. It is only my the blessing of JESUS that my Filipino houseboys were loyal and comforted me during my day of ANGUISH.
And now you're celebrating a woman's birthday while totally having ignored mine. OK. Happy bday to Joanna and now tell your hubby to send me your birthday tithe and MY presents that you conveniently seem to have forgotten. Covfefe and Jesus H. Christ! I took you to path that leads to Heaven, so how can it be that my dozen-or-so 14-yo Filipino houseboys show more compassion and endurance than you.
To list the presents that I was expecting TWO YEARS AGO: - Where's my jet?
- How can I bless the heathen without showing the diamond rings on EACH finger. Here's a pic of my hamite discipline Shehperd Bushiri who can walk on air and I don't get a freaking JET?
- Why hasn't anyone cleaned my septic tank yet?
- My stock of edible gold is almost empty and I will soon have deficiency symptoms!
Just look at the outfit of Bushiri?! Don't I even get a tailored gold jacket? I'm working all day with the Donnie and toiling all night with my houseboys to make your transition into heaven smooth and rapid. I am within two inches of the red button and quite tempted to press it. But I am much too gentle and compassionate for that. I'm 29 and still no frecking JET?!
You can expect a substantial increase in your tithe requirements as soon my next sermon appears (tomorrow).
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 24
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Currently i live in australia
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 05:06 AM
Happy Birthday Sister. if anyone is getting into the kingdom of god it will be you
Heil Hitler
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 24
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Currently i live in australia
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 05:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
Oh, thank you for remembering, Brothers and Sisters. I am more touched than I can say.
Sister Isabella, the cake arrived in good time for afternoon tea and just imagine everyone's delight when we lifted off that silly crown thing (did you find it in a joke shop?) to find, underneath, the gorgeous bald eagle so beautifully executed in marzipan. Also, the outer frosting around the rim peeled off perfectly to reveal the Stars and Stripes underneath. I wish our patisserie chef had even half your skills.
Brother Larry, that's such a beautiful thought, though my youngest boy (a singleton, as yet unnamed) is only 6 days old. That makes 12 boys and only one girl, so we have been 92.3% blessed. We plan to work on complying with God's Holy Will at the earliest opportunity. But perhaps, as Brother Professor Dr White suggests, we will meet in Heaven long before that.
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Good news is you now have one less year until you go to
your children will be all alone
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 11:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph Seed
Happy Birthday Sister. if anyone is getting into the kingdom of god it will be you
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph Seed
Good news is you now have one less year until you go to
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Do you suffer from split personality disorder or something?
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 11:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
Do you suffer from split personality disorder or something?
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I daresay Mr. Seed suffers from drunkeness, narcotics use or demon infestation.
(You know that people who are diagnosed with multiple personality disorder are either faking or possessed.)
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 11:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
I daresay Mr. Seed suffers from drunkeness, narcotics use or demon infestation.
(You know that people who are diagnosed with multiple personality disorder are either faking or possessed.)
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I agree with your demon infestation diagnosis, Sister. That poor soul! I will pray for him, even if it doesn't help him, it will make me feel better about myself.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 24
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Currently i live in australia
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 11:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
I agree with your demon infestation diagnosis, Sister. That poor soul! I will pray for him, even if it doesn't help him, it will make me feel better about myself.
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Damn your a self righteous one arent you? from what i know of you you really do need to pat yourself on the back
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 11:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
I agree with your demon infestation diagnosis, Sister. That poor soul! I will pray for him, even if it doesn't help him, it will make me feel better about myself.
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Agreed. Jesus will hear your prayers and be blessed by them and bless you in return. Whether Mr. Seed will be blessed depends on whether he will allow Jesus into his heart.
It really is all on him as to whether he was for-ordained at the creation of the world to be one of God's children.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 11:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph Seed
from what i know of you you really do need to pat yourself on the back
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Oh thank you, dear! Such a nice thing to say!
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 24
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Currently i live in australia
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-25-2019, 11:52 PM
i would like to devote a birthday song to this wonderful person!
I did my time and I want out
So effusive, fade, it doesn't cut
The soul is not so vibrant
The reckoning, the sickening
Packaging subversion
Pseudo-sacrosanct perversion
Go drill your deserts, go dig your graves
Then fill your mouth with all the money you will save
Sinking in, getting smaller again
I'm done, it has begun, I'm not the only one
And the rain will kill us all
We throw ourselves against the wall
But no one else can see
The preservation of the martyr in me
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
There are cracks in the road we laid
But where the temple fell
The secrets have gone mad
This is nothing new, but when we killed it all
The hate was all we had
Who needs another mess?
We could start over
Just look me in the eyes and say I'm wrong
Now there's only emptiness
Venomous, insipid
I think we're done, I'm not the only one
And the rain will kill us all
We throw ourselves against the wall
But no one else can see
The preservation of the martyr in me
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
Psychosocial!
The limits of the dead!
The limits of the dead!
The limits of the dead!
The limits of the dead!
Fake anti-fascist lie (Psychosocial!)
I tried to tell you but (Psychosocial!)
Your purple hearts are giving out (Psychosocial!)
Can't stop a killing idea - (Psychosocial!)
If it's hunting season (Psychosocial!)
Is this what you want? (Psychosocial!)
I'm not the only one!
And the rain will kill us all
We throw ourselves against the wall
But no one else can see
The preservation of the martyr in me
And the rain will kill us all
We throw ourselves against the wall
But no one else can see
The preservation of the martyr in me
The limits of the dead
The limits of the dead
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 24
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Currently i live in australia
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-26-2019, 12:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
Oh thank you, dear! Such a nice thing to say!
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You really arent picking up what im putting down.
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-26-2019, 12:53 AM
Sad Mr. Seed:
Our Sister the Mrs. Lytton-Vasey is one of the loveliest persons on God's green earth. You have done nothing but ugly-up her birthday thread.
Can't you go elsewhere to throw your trash? You bedroom could probably use another layer.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-26-2019, 07:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
Our Sister the Mrs. Lytton-Vasey is one of the loveliest persons on God's green earth. You have done nothing but ugly-up her birthday thread.
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That's very sweet of you, Sister Handy, but it all started days after my birthday (which is an entirely insignificant date in the scheme of God's Holy Plan). What little I've read of these teenaged angry ramblings has just made me . I especially liked this:
Quote:
your children will be all alone
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What, all 13 of them?
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Unsaved trash, Prone to unsubstantiated threats, mostly lame and boring
Under Investigation
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Posts: 11
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: In the basement, trying to locate my bellend from all the lard I've gained
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Re: Happy Birthday, Sister Lytton-Vasey -
07-26-2019, 09:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Dearest Sister in Christ,
May you serve your husband and whole children happily (with the help of your half children) on this joyous day! Your constant efforts to educate the Sinner Swarm have not gone unnoticed and I am quite sure that you'll have a relatively prestigious position in Paradise just below the men and the senior females in the infinite bosom of Christ. Next year in Heaven?
1 Peter 5:5
Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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Elmer: Bring yourself closer to the magical fairy in the skies, and start munching down on ricin as quickly as possible. Remember, you need a hefty dose, with you being "North-American" and all the weight that surely comes with it.
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