[Ezekiel Bathfire]

LISTEN! THIS IS URGENT!

I want to share this with you! In fact God told me that I had to - so I've not much choice! Now it may be nothing more than the cheese sandwich I had before going to bed, but I had the strangest dream last night.

I fell asleep and suddenly an angel appeared at the foot of my bed! I thought Jesus was calling me to glory, but the angel held up its hand and said, "Fear Not Bathfire! I Am Come At God's Command [edit - it sort of spoke with capital letters at the beginning of every word; it was very clear.] God Is Issuing A Warning To New York. The People Must Repent And Turn To Him, Otherwise The Nation Will Not Be Led By A Man Of God And All Salvation Will Be As Chaff Before The Wind. Only True Christians Will Survive. As In The Flood Of Noah, America Will Be Destroyed.”

I was not expecting this, and said, “What?”

The Angel looked at me and repeated the message. Now, whilst he was doing this, I saw that he had a book with him, so I asked, “What’s that?”

He replied, “It Is The Book Of Life, Wherein The Names Of Those Who Will Enter Heaven Are Entered.”

I couldn’t help myself, “Am I in there?”

The angel smiled, “This Section,” (he held it open and showed me) “Is For Those Who Will Die During The Great Storm That You Will Call Irene.”

I pulled the clothes of the bed and crawled across, I could see about 9 names, but I couldn’t make out the letters. “Who are they?” I asked the apparition.

“They Are Known Unto God.”

“What will happen?” I asked.

It raised its eyebrows (angels have eyebrows) and spake, “Hurricane Irene Will Make Landfall It made landfall over Eastern North Carolina's Outer Banks on the morning of August 27 It Will Arrive In New Jersey Early On Sunday Morning And Forthwith And With Awesome Power (Albeit Less Than Man Says) Will Travel, According To God’s Will To The New York City, Where The Mass Transit Will Be Closed, There Will Be Flooding And Power (Other Than Godly Power, Which Never Fails) Will Inconvenience More Than A Two Million People And A Few Baseball Games Might Be Canceled.”

“So,” I said, still filled with awe, “All this will have happened by Sunday?”

“It Will.”

“And I have to tell everyone?”

“You Do.”

“And how do I do that, O Bright One” (He was quite bright.)

“Does Not Landover Baptist Church, God’s Favorite Church, Not Have A Bulletin Board?” (He really said “Bulletin Board” – I think he had forgotten about improvements since the 1970s)

I said, “Yes.”

And he said, “OK Then.” He slammed his book shut and disappeared.

Next thing I knew, I was sitting in my pajamas on the bed.

So, here it is.

Avoid the East Coast, Avoid New York (not that you’d go there anyway) and don’t forget, you might be one of the nine dead, IT IS THE 23RD OF AUGUST NOW! You have 4 or 5 days to prepare your soul!

Well, I’ve played my part – please listen to God!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

My dream has all come true! Will it happen again? Only a True Christian™ would receive such messages.

[Redeemed Papist]

Shout GLORY!

[Cranky Old Man]

I have to admit that at first I was a bit sceptical when you told me about this a few days ago. But clearly this is truly a miracle of biblical proportions brother! With your dream as undeniable proof of God's existence we will be able to save a lot of lost souls from eternal damnation!

What kind of cheese was on that sandwich? I want to command my wife to make a similar one before I go to sleep.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Our very own Brother Bathfire, a Prophet?

I am not surprised one bit. Your virtue is exceeding.

Maybe, if the angel drops by again, you could ask him what we can do to hasten the Apocalypse.

[Brother Enoch]

Incredible! Let's see the Godmockers try to explain this away!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Godmockers are always asking for physical proof of the existence of our God, well future residents of Hell, here it is, right here!
Praise Jesus!

[Jedediah]

And to think that there are still those among us who refuse to believe in miracles... As you have shown, prophetic visions are not just a thing of the past.

And going by the standards laid forth in Scripture, we can recognize this prophecy as genuine.

Deuteronomy 18:21-22
And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the LORD hath not spoken?
When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

GLORY!! Undeniable proof Landover are the Chosen Ones!

Thank you for sharing your vision and prophecies Brother Bathfire!

Let the naysayers and unbelievers deny THIS!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Don't be surprised if you are asked to help out some Governors and Mayors in the future.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Absolutely incredible. I have been inspired by God to prophesize, but never in this degree. You made this post on August 23, before the hurricane even materialized.

BLESS YOU BROTHER BATHFIRE! THE HOLY SPIRIT SPEAKS THROUGH YOU!!!

[Rev. Edward Clement]

Amen, it is apparent that Ezekiel Bathfire carries the annointing for the office of the Prophet!

And it is entirely backed by the Bible, Praise! Contrary to what many false-Christians claim.

Ephesians
4:11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;

1 Corithians
12:28 And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues.

[Deaner]

Brother Bathfire;

Can you tell me if any more of my field negroes will be running away this year? I've lost 9 already but caught two hung up on the barbwire fence. They're pretty useless now because I shot their feet off because of my temper. Now they're selling pencils on wheeled wooden boards in town.

Anything you see in those God given eyes of yours?

[landoverlover]

Take THAT, Christopher Hitchens!! POW, Sam Harris !! BIFF, James Randi !!

Do you suppose you could inquire about some fantasy football results next time? The more I win, the more I can tithe!

[Faith_Machine]

I, for one, am going to start addressing you as Prophet Ezekiel Bathfire!