Did everyone who moved to Freehold go through this tedium?
My pastor called me tonight telling me that someone from the Department of Faith called him to verify that I was attending church every week and how much I put in the collection plate (and whether I give each service or just at the one in the morning on Sunday).
My church doesn't have a Dept. of Faith, so he was a little skeptical to give answers - but he responded to each question. Pastor was a bit taken aback by the following questions:
1. Does the applicant always wear appropriate undergarments?
2. Is there any indication that the applicant is of mixed race?
3. Has the applicant ever been the recipient of church charity?
4. Please estimate the time that applicant spends in prayer each week.
5. Have you ever heard the applicant speak ill of any Republican? If so, whom? What was said? If appropriate, did he repent?
6. Was applicant baptized by sprinkling, full immersion, or some other method? Who performed the baptism?
7. How many souls has the applicant brought in to the church in the past year? If less than 100, please explain.
8. Does applicant prefer spicy foods? Curry?
9. Have you ever conducted surveillance on the applicant? If so, for what reason and what were the results?
10. Describe the applicant's general demeanor. (Happy? Sad? Suspicious? Furtive? Determined? Spiritual?)
11. Have you ever suspected the applicant is a witch? Necromancer? Prone to possession by demons?
12. If the applicant is a former Catholic, have you witnessed evidence of sympathy toward that "church"? If yes, did you flog the applicant?
I suppose it will all be worth it once this process is complete, but I would love to hear the explanation for some of those questions.