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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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After School Fellowship! -
09-19-2015, 08:49 AM
If you love Jesus and you're a Freehold boy between the ages of 6 and 16 and not obese, you're invited to after home-school fellowship at 4 PM each day. We meet in the prayer hut right behind the Ice Cream Truck. I ran an extension cord so we can play the Bible Quiz on our Victory OS laptop. I've been assured this replacement laptop won't catch on fire again. I've been praying hard that Jesus will heal little Jacob's lap, so we will definitely keep a close eye on that.
Anyway, there will be cookies and candy! Plus, every day I will have a real surprise in store for the winner of the Bible Quiz. As always, BYOB (bring your own Bible), and swimsuits are provided.
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-19-2015, 09:45 AM
That's a great looking truck.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-19-2015, 08:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
That's a great looking truck.
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It's got a convenient nap area inside!
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-19-2015, 10:19 PM
Youth Minister Harry, I recall that you have a stunning collection of children's swimwear. I've never seen so many. Every color and design imaginable.
You are a generous man to let the boys wear those swim trunks and then keep them around for future use. God Bless you!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash, repulsive teenaged demon
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Posts: 122
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Godless Land (UK)
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-19-2015, 11:09 PM
Why can't they be obese?
Rom.1:26-27
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-19-2015, 11:31 PM
See? No badly painted eyesore messages on the side of that one. That is a van I wouldn't be ashamed to see my boys taking candy from. Take a message from Pastor Harry's playbook, FM, and set some standards for our fine community.
@ Demonthinger. Fat kids have already had too much candy. Duh!
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Unsaved trash, repulsive teenaged demon
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Posts: 122
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Godless Land (UK)
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-20-2015, 11:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Youth Minister Harry, I recall that you have a stunning collection of children's swimwear. I've never seen so many. Every color and design imaginable.
You are a generous man to let the boys wear those swim trunks and then keep them around for future use. God Bless you!
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Why are you so interested in the kid's swimwear? Pedo, much?
Rom.1:26-27
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-21-2015, 12:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonThinker96
Why are you so interested in the kid's swimwear? Pedo, much?
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I'm not the one suddenly bringing it up. Why are you so focused on my boys' Speedo's? Are you some kind of Speedophile?
Also, thank you for your offer of a pedomunch. I don't know what that is, so I'll just stick with my cookies and milk, thank you. Maybe you'd like some cookies and milk. Would you like some cookies and milk? We can split open a cookie and dip in a little milk and then fellowship about how Jesus can fill your needs. Do you like camping?
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-22-2015, 08:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youth Minister Harry
[...] Do you like camping?
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You might want to glance over Demonthinker´s location, I presume it is a hint to where he wants your milk and cookies.
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-22-2015, 09:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland
You might want to glance over Demonthinker´s location, I presume it is a hint to where he wants your milk and cookies.
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You know I'm not fond of agreeing with you, but he may be a catamite attempting to seduce True Christian™ men! Nice try, Demonthinker! Very nice try! I'd like to see you try THAT again! I doubt you would! Would you?! Yeah, well, you better think twice. If you're gonna try that again.
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Curry slurping demon
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Posts: 323
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-23-2015, 10:47 AM
Yes, Minister Harry,
It is Harsha Shah here. I am not exectly a christian (I am a secular jainist but not very religious, I am sorry) but I am thinking that this project of yours in very useful as many young children are all alone after school hours. Yes, it is. We are also having some activities for these children including a science club, geography and the arts. Yes. I am seeing that there is no difference between people of different faiths as there are people who care for lonely children everywhere. I hope I am not offending you but I have sometimes been wondering if the christian culture is sometimes cruel and unforgiving but this is showing me a new aspect that I am finding very compassionate. Yes.
"Ecclesiastes 3:7
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."Yes. Women are saving lives. It is time we are speaking! Yes!
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-28-2015, 06:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harsha Shah
Cluck Cluck Cluck... ...this is showing me a new aspect that I am finding very compassionate. Yes.
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Of course True Christians™ are compassionate! The fact that I am willing to acknowledge you at all is clear proof that. Often people mistake Christians for being cruel by following God's instructions to injure, execute, exclude, ridicule or pass angry judgement upon lesser people, but it's not cruel at all. We are simply showing God's Love to these people. All of God's plans are GOOD NEWS! For example, if God decides a teen runaway should starve to death under a bridge, then God's plan should be carried out without interference! Why on Earth would anyone want to interrupt God's plans?! It's not always easy to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others, but you have to be strong and know in your heart that it is God's Will. Praise God!
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-28-2015, 07:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonThinker96
Why can't they be obese?
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Fat children take up more than their fair share of room in the van. It can get quite crowded in there.
Would you like to wear trunks already ruined by some fat kid's buttocks? I thought not. A little thought before you post would do wonders.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 140
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Godly America
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-28-2015, 05:03 PM
That Looks like a nice van for biblical games and study.
you have my prayers so that your laptop wont burn
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-28-2015, 09:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ph0enix808
That Looks like a nice van for biblical games and study.
you have my prayers so that your laptop wont burn
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How kind of you! We drive around the nation and hold impromptu boys-only outreach missionary camps. If you're every nearby, stop in and I'll give you a personal tour! Be sure to bring an unsaved boy that we might fill him with Christ's Love!
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 64
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: God's Favorite Nation
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-29-2015, 02:44 AM
What a magnificent, American-made truck you have, Pastor Harry! If Esther and I have any sons, we'll be sure to send them to you as soon as their old enough.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-29-2015, 02:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Hubbard
What a magnificent, American-made truck you have, Pastor Harry! If Esther and I have any sons, we'll be sure to send them to you as soon as their old enough.
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Oh, how wonderful Mr. Hubbard! You know I am praying hard for you to be blessed with sons very soon! We've lowered our peewee group admission age to 4 years old, so if it is God's will, perhaps we will see yours in about 4 years! In the mean time, bring your nephew by! Praise GOD!
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 140
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Godly America
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-29-2015, 01:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youth Minister Harry
How kind of you! We drive around the nation and hold impromptu boys-only outreach missionary camps. If you're every nearby, stop in and I'll give you a personal tour! Be sure to bring an unsaved boy that we might fill him with Christ's Love!
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Thank You!, If I find the van ill make sure to bring the boy I baby-sit(that poor child plays harry potter video games ) I hope taking him to the van will heal his poor soul
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 64
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: God's Favorite Nation
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Re: After School Fellowship! -
09-30-2015, 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youth Minister Harry
Oh, how wonderful Mr. Hubbard! You know I am praying hard for you to be blessed with sons very soon! We've lowered our peewee group admission age to 4 years old, so if it is God's will, perhaps we will see yours in about 4 years! In the mean time, bring your nephew by! Praise GOD!
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Thank you for your prayers, Minister Harry! I'd love to, but my aunt and uncle refuse to let him be alone with me. However, I am hoping that they will see the light soon so I can ask them to send him to you.
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