[Serenity-Millennium]

Hello my brothers and sisters in Christ! I am very happy to be here (though I am always happy, thanks be to Jesus!) I've been reading through this forum, and I must say I disagree with almost everything everyone says here, but don't worry! I am a real Christian, and I won't (and can't!) judge you at all for it. I know it's wrong for me to give you my opinion, on absolutely any subject whatsoever. God will sort it out (and send you to heaven, since He died for EVERYONE ). I look forward to making friends with every single one of you, like a good Christian should. Have a blessed day!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Welcome to God's favorite forum. I assume you're a female? I've never heard of a man named "serenity" before.

If you'd like to post the scripture you feel we've gotten wrong, I'm sure we can clear up your misunderstanding.

[Serenity-Millennium]

Well, I could. but I don't want to judge your religion, Pastor!

Matthew 7:1-5 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Originally Posted by Serenity-Millennium

Well, I could. but I don't want to judge your religion, Pastor!

Matthew 7:1-5 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

That's not the Bible. It's not even an accurate paraphrase of what's in the Bible. It's not even a half-hearted attempt at getting the gist of what's in the Bible. So please, point out some actual Bible quotes that you feel we may have transgressed against.

[Nurse Clampett]

Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne

That's not the Bible. It's not even an accurate paraphrase of what's in the Bible. It's not even a half-hearted attempt at getting the gist of what's in the Bible. So please, point out some actual Bible quotes that you feel we may have transgressed against.

I think she meant it as a direct insult to our Pastor Zeke.
It sounds a little too personal. I smell troll.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Originally Posted by Nurse Clampett

I think she meant it as a direct insult to our Pastor Zeke.
It sounds a little too personal. I smell troll.

Reading her posts it is clear she has never read a Bible in her life.

By the way, congratulations on post #500, Nurse!

[Serenity-Millennium]

Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne

That's not the Bible. It's not even an accurate paraphrase of what's in the Bible. It's not even a half-hearted attempt at getting the gist of what's in the Bible. So please, point out some actual Bible quotes that you feel we may have transgressed against.

Oh, but don't you love it? It's from "The Message", you can find it at biblegateway.com

I know it's really very far away from the original language, but I also like how it makes the Bible sound like a New Age self-help book, because I love those books!

Luke 15:22-24"But the father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We're going to feast! We're going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time. 25-27"All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day's work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, 'Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast—barbecued beef!—because he has him home safe and sound.'
28-30"The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. The son said, 'Look how many years I've stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!'
31-32"His father said, 'Son, you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he's alive! He was lost, and he's found!'"

What majestic poetry!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Serenity-Millennium

Well, I could. but I don't want to judge your religion, Pastor!

Matthew 7:1-5 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

What the hell was THAT!? It sure wasn't the Holy KJV Bible!!


This is what the One True Word of God actually says:

Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
7:4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
7:5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

[Serenity-Millennium]

I'm sorry Pastor. From now on, I'll maybe post both versions when I make a post? I don't want to upset you. After all, Jesus tells us we should always do whatever people tell us to.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Originally Posted by Serenity-Millennium

I'm sorry Pastor. From now on, I'll maybe post both versions when I make a post? I don't want to upset you. After all, Jesus tells us we should always do whatever people tell us to.

By Jesus, you're referring to your gardener, right?

[Serenity-Millennium]

Matthew 5:38-42"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. 43-47"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
48"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."


38Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
41And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.





That's how I live my life! I would never, ever defend myself if getting attacked. If someone tries to take from me, I give them twice as much as they tried to take. I do everything people ask of me, and more. That's what Jesus said to do, after all!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Serenity-Millennium

I'm sorry Pastor. From now on, I'll maybe post both versions when I make a post? I don't want to upset you. After all, Jesus tells us we should always do whatever people tell us to.

The Bible demands that you obey Pastor's orders.

Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.

Please post ONLY from the One True Word of God, the KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible. If you are unclear as to why the KJV is the only True Word of God, please take a look at THIS sermon.

[Serenity-Millennium]

I'll try to remember that Pastor, but my memory isn't always too good