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Reload this Page Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
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Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:04 AM

Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! I'm sure we'll be helping lots of lost homers in the future. And if there's one thing I'm sure of, our help will work better than any feel-good, false Christian nonsense. So, even though our Lord Jesus Christ will probably burn these homers in Hell, let's do our best to help our "back door" Christians.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

Last edited by OnYourKnees; 02-09-2007 at 05:13 PM.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:51 AM

Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!


"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

"Don't dream it...BE IT!"
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Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
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Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:59 AM

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Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
Leviticus 20:13!


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 03:36 AM

Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!!
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
Open myself to Jesus? We'll what do you think he has up his..ah..sleeve? And, will I require a chastity belt? LMAO!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!!
Backdoor? Hey, love, that ALWAYS gets MY attention, if you know what I mean (snicker, snicker). Oh yes, I've heard of Teddy's "miracle cure" and, frankly love, its a FARCE!! Now, do I or do I not want a TASTE of Jesus' love for myself? Hmmm....well...love...what flavor do you think he is??

I'm just a WILD and an UNTAMED thing.............


"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

"Don't dream it...BE IT!"

Last edited by TwinkBoy; 02-08-2007 at 04:29 AM.
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Virginia D. Templeton Virginia D. Templeton is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
Leviticus 20:13!
Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.


Proud member of the LGBT community!


Cursed be he that doeth the work of the Lord deceitfully, and cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood.
– Jer. 48:10
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-09-2007, 05:20 PM

I hear Ted got his homocure from a "divinity mill", via "coupon redemption".


Nonetheless, it all seems to be on the level, despite the pseudonymous namings.



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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-26-2007, 08:04 AM

For those of you sodomites who are listening to Jesus and doing your best to fight those satanic urges, THIS Ebay auction might be of interest. Better hurry!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-18-2008, 10:39 AM

Honestly, whats wrong with being homosexual. Its not like we hurt anyone. I just don't understand what makes people feel that they have the right to tell people that WHAT they are is wrong. This is a farce. Sexual orientation is determined by genetics. How can you persecute someone for being born a certain way. That's just like saying that being black is wrong, or being mentally retarded is a sin.

Society is changing, get used to it.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-30-2008, 12:34 AM

Oh, you poor dear people, I feel for your mentality. Homosexuality is NOT a disease, it's the way people were born to love. Don't y'all support peace and happiness? If you do then why do you shun people for existing? Why do you try to change them when they are exactly perfect the way they are? The powers that be will be only too happy that the individual has lived to their divine nature and that they didn't alter themselves because of fear of intolerance and shame.

I realize that I may not change your opinion--and I'm completely content with you keeping the words you choose--but please at least try to understand others differences. Bless you.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 12-16-2010, 03:08 AM

y'all make me sick, Twinkie and the other wierdos. I'd go so far to say, Twinkie has a better chance in heaven than you.
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Talking Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-11-2011, 09:40 AM

Why do you christians try to seek a cure for something that is natural and normal?!
I think there are much more important issues you could deal with that benifit everyone and not put one group/culture down.
Try eradicate poverty!
Feed the homeless!
Vote Democrat!

LOVE is what its all about anyway, Gender doesn't matter, only LOVE!!!


Ooh there ain't no other way, baby I was born this way!

I love the Mother Monster.
Xena Warrior Princess, she can save me anytime!!!
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-18-2012, 09:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.
Actually this relates to one of my burning questions, so I hope I'm on the right board.

For the sake of argument I agree, GOD hates Homosexuals and wants them killed.

But then I don't understand how he could tempt men with that pleasure center,the prostate, thats used in Anal sex. It's just fantastic. Is he testing gay males? Or is it to curb the number of heathen births?

Thank you for your time in answering this seriously.


A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast; But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. Proverbs 12:10
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-18-2012, 09:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jpagan View Post
But then I don't understand how he could tempt men with that pleasure center,the prostate, thats used in Anal sex.
What is a prostrate?


Come climb my mountains.
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Jesus' eternal love Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-22-2016, 02:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.
if its so bad then why does it feel so good after only a little ***pharmacological reference to unnatural acts removed by moderator***?
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-22-2016, 04:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay View Post
if its so bad then why does it feel so good after only a little ***pharmacological reference to unnatural acts removed by moderator***?
That would be the Devil tempting you with stuff that's of this world.
1 John 2:15-17
15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
You seem to think that if it feels good it's right. No, no, no! God did not give you a means of experiencing pleasure so you could feel joy. God gave you a means of feeling pleasure and joy in perverted filthy sex acts so you could be tempted to wickedness and iniquity. You're going to burn in Hell unless you do something about it.
James 4:4-6
4Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
You are an adulterer if you are having gay sex because it is outside marriage. No True Christian seeks to have sex feel pleasurable even within marriage - it is a duty in order to spawn children. If you do not feel like it is a chore you are not doing it right.

Please stay away from the anal cavities and get with Jesus. Once you feel Him deep inside you you will crave nothing else.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 03:35 AM

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Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
You mean like GRIDS (Gay Related Immune Deficiency Syndrome)?
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-24-2018, 09:34 AM

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Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
truth.Respect
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-27-2018, 05:44 PM

I have been an in-person, up-close witness to the perversion that is same s-e-c-k-s carnality and I can tell you it is definitely NOT "ok." I have seen the turgid rods of the depraved sunken deep into the nether regions of still another depraved soul. I have heard these "men" cry out in low, depraved tones as their depravity deepens and their lust lengthens.


OK? No, I don't think so.


I have been privy to the sin of Onan on multiple occasions as I minister on my knees to those fooled into thinking it's ok to waste the precious salve that brings babies to this world. A few times, it has even fallen upon my face (horrors!) as I begged the offender to join me in crying out to God Almighty. Until you have personally seen the wickedness that is always present in homer orgies, you have no right to call it "ok." And if you HAVE witnessed it and still think it's acceptable, this is a sign that the demon named Homo has entered you and now possesses you. Cry out to the LORD for cleansing, today! Plead the Precious Blood of Jesus© over your soul even now! Seek an exorcism from your nearest exorcist at once! Friend, this is not a plaything with which to play. This is your soul at risk and JESUS stands at the door, knocking. Oh, how I pray you let Him inside. Father God, I just come against the sin of homerism now, Father God, and I ask You to just wipe every homer's nether regions with Your Precious Blood, Father God, that all men might be saved. I just pray against lust right now, Jesus, that all lust is removed and replaced with Your Love, a Love that is an holy and righteous thing, Father God.


All these favors I ask in the Holy and Precious Name of our Living Savior, Christ Jesus of Nazareth, claiming the promises of Your Holy Word. Amen and Amen and Amen.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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