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Default Day 147. Job 19-21 - 05-15-2008, 09:37 PM

Job 19-21

Today we get:
  • Job bitches some more
  • Zophar chimes in... again
  • Job bitches again

Before we get into the full reading for today, I'd like to reflect on the Footprints in the Sand poem.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."


written by Mary Stevenson

I think Mary Stevenson has never heard of the book of Job. Let's re-write that poem with Job in mind.


One night Job had a dream. (this was during one of the nights where he wasn't woken up by his excruciating pain) He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life. Like when all his children died; like when all his cattle were stolen; like when the rest of his livestock were taken. He remembered the time where he was completely covered in oozing scabs when his three closest friends didn't even recognize him.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you (for very long; although the way you are suffering it probably seems like an eternity).
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I allowed the devil to try to destroy you, but I never let him kill you."


written by Mary Stevenson and Brother V

Job 19

Job said:

2 How long will ye vex my soul, and break me in pieces with words?

It seems like he's talking to his friend here. He's getting well fed up with them telling him that he has to repent.

6 Know now that God hath overthrown me, and hath compassed me with his net.

Wait a second, did Job just complain about God? Not really, he made a statement, a correct-ish statement at that. Surely the LORD won't be too mad about it.

7 Behold, I cry out of wrong, but I am not heard: I cry aloud, but there is no judgment.

That sounds like Job may be losing his patience and faith.

10 He hath destroyed me on every side, and I am gone: and mine hope hath he removed like a tree.

That's a slightly better allusion than what a modern emo would say. "Mine hope he hath popped like a zit."

14 My kinsfolk have failed, and my familiar friends have forgotten me.

Job's family didn't even come to visit. It's just these three who showed up.

17 My breath is strange to my wife, though I intreated for the children's sake of mine own body.

Apparently Job has forgotten that his kids are dead.

23 Oh that my words were now written! oh that they were printed in a book!

That's really an odd thing to say, especially if this takes place in 1300 BC. The word book comes from the Greek word biblos, which gets it's name from the Phoenician port town of Byblos (where they got their papyrus from). This was in about the 10th or ninth century BC. The Greeks and Romans, Chinese and HEBREWS were using scrolls as the main form of holding collected works. It wasn't until around 284 AD that the romans started using the codex book format. Once again, we see how far advanced Job and the people God favors are. Job correctly predicts "books" 1500 years before they were. PRAISE JESUS!!!

24 That they were graven with an iron pen and lead in the rock for ever!

The first pencil came from ancient rome. Which existed from the 9th century BC. Here we see Job predicting "an iron pen and lead" which sure as hell sounds like a pencil, 400 years before the romans finally got around to stealing his idea.

Job 20

Zophar's turn again.

2 Therefore do my thoughts cause me to answer, and for this I make haste.

If I could be honest with you for a second...

5 That the triumphing of the wicked is short, and the joy of the hypocrite but for a moment?

Wow, Zophar went there. He actually brought up that man can sometimes prosper a little by themselves, but for long lasting success, one needs the LORD. He accuses Job of getting lucky for a bit.

He pretty much for the whole chapter talks about a guy getting lucky for a brief shining moment; and the rest of his life sucking.

Zophar calls Job a one hit wonder.

24 He shall flee from the iron weapon, and the bow of steel shall strike him through.

Why would someone make iron weapons when they could make steel? Why does everyone talk about us following "bronze age" laws, when people were able to make steel? Iron's main usage began in around 1200 BC, but it was being made as early as 3000 BC. So Zophar didn't invent anything here.

Job 21

Job, pissed off at his friends as usual, answers Zophar.

2 Hear diligently my speech, and let this be your consolations.

Shaddup and listen you losers!

5 Mark me, and be astonished, and lay your hand upon your mouth.

Mark my words young man!!!

12 They take the timbrel and harp, and rejoice at the sound of the organ.

Praise Jesus, Job once again invents something. This time, the organ, only 1000 years before the hydraulis.

24 His breasts are full of milk, and his bones are moistened with marrow.

Job predicts sex change operations, nearly 3300 years before it happens.

34 How then comfort ye me in vain, seeing in your answers there remaineth falsehood?

Job, once again, asks his friends for a get well card, but instead he receives criticism for a life that he didn't do.

So what have we learned today?

1. Footprints in the sand is a crock of crap, at least if you've read the book of Job.

2. Job predicted books, organs, and sex change operations.

3. Job just wants to be held, is that so wrong?

YIC
V


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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Default Re: Day 147. Job 19-21 - 05-17-2008, 08:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Brother V View Post
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you
."

you so rite, Mr.Borther V. that poem be a crock, cuz lord God not want to carry some big fat cry baby who got a big fat butts from watchin daytime tv all day longs an self-medicatin wiv junk foods


Quote:

During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I allowed the devil to try to destroy you, but I never let him kill you."

thank you lord God, i always be to scareds not to lurve you

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Default Re: Day 147. Job 19-21 - 05-17-2008, 12:00 PM

Miss Petal is Correct again. Indeed she is "progressing nicely."

(Hey, everybody! Brother V got a Job! BROTHER V GOT A JOB!!!)
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