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Rasheed Rasheed is offline
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 09:42 PM

Iran
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 09:53 PM

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Originally Posted by Rasheed View Post
Iran
Welcome to our friendly forum! How is it to live in Iran? Stoned any women lately?


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Rasheed Rasheed is offline
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 10:06 PM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Welcome to our friendly forum! How is it to live in Iran? Stoned any women lately?
Oh, life here is probably a lot better than you ignorant Westerners would think. I have been fortunate enough to have been given the authority by God to oversee and perform in Sharia punishments. So - no - I'm not technically allowed to stone people but I oversee the process and ensure the sinner is dead at the end.
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 10:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasheed View Post
Oh, life here is probably a lot better than you ignorant Westerners would think. I have been fortunate enough to have been given the authority by God to oversee and perform in Sharia punishments. So - no - I'm not technically allowed to stone people but I oversee the process and ensure the sinner is dead at the end.
I have to admit that Iran is ahead of America in this area. Although you are following the wrong book, at least in your country that book is also the law. I cannot wait until Obama is replaced by Sarah Palin and we finally get Biblical laws in America. I has been way to long since anyone was stoned in America.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 10:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasheed View Post
Oh, life here is probably a lot better than you ignorant Westerners would think. I have been fortunate enough to have been given the authority by God to oversee and perform in Sharia punishments. So - no - I'm not technically allowed to stone people but I oversee the process and ensure the sinner is dead at the end.

Just today we had 2 homers and 3 blasphemers. We are going to need a lot of rocks. I wonder if Rasheed can give us any tips on the proper way to stone some one?
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Rasheed Rasheed is offline
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 10:37 PM

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Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Just today we had 2 homers and 3 blasphemers. We are going to need a lot of rocks. I wonder if Rasheed can give us any tips on the proper way to stone some one?
I find that the modern Muslim interpretation of "stoning" to be too liberal, light and ultimately too humane. These days a lot of people in my town have taken to going for headshots to ensure a quick death for the sinner but I remember a time when you started on the feet and only when they were crushed to a pulp would you proceed.
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 10:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasheed View Post
I find that the modern Muslim interpretation of "stoning" to be too liberal, light and ultimately too humane. These days a lot of people in my town have taken to going for headshots to ensure a quick death for the sinner but I remember a time when you started on the feet and only when they were crushed to a pulp would you proceed.
While I don't condone your satanic cult, I will give you this much: You people know how to throw a stone.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 10:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasheed View Post
I find that the modern Muslim interpretation of "stoning" to be too liberal, light and ultimately too humane. These days a lot of people in my town have taken to going for headshots to ensure a quick death for the sinner but I remember a time when you started on the feet and only when they were crushed to a pulp would you proceed.
Sweet Lord Jesus,

Please cure this poor mooslim of his stupidity and godlessness, my Sweet Lord, because he is devout, and might one day be a True Christian™ before you.

Please convince him that he really will go to Hell for worshipping rocks, Lord, like all heathens will have their place in the Lake of Fire. And thank you again for that inspiring sermon of Pastor Deacon Fred last Sunday about the Lake of Fire! Your Love is endless, and those sinners deserve their eternal punishment! Praised be Your Name!

Please cure this mooslim as well of his doubts about his masculinity, as all mooslims have, Lord. Teach him to be a True Christian™ Man of God, like the many sons you've blessed me and Azariah with!

Thank you for your wisdom in creating Hell, Sweet Jesus. Your punishments are righteous and just!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.


Pray without ceasing.
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18)
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Rasheed Rasheed is offline
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 10:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grandmother Wilson View Post
Sweet Lord Jesus,

Please cure this poor mooslim of his stupidity and godlessness, my Sweet Lord, because he is devout, and might one day be a True Christian™ before you.

Please convince him that he really will go to Hell for worshipping rocks, Lord, like all heathens will have their place in the Lake of Fire. And thank you again for that inspiring sermon of Pastor Deacon Fred last Sunday about the Lake of Fire! Your Love is endless, and those sinners deserve their eternal punishment! Praised be Your Name!

Please cure this mooslim as well of his doubts about his masculinity, as all mooslims have, Lord. Teach him to be a True Christian™ Man of God, like the many sons you've blessed me and Azariah with!

Thank you for your wisdom in creating Hell, Sweet Jesus. Your punishments are righteous and just!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.
What good will it do praying in Jesus' name? As the Qur'an makes abundantly clear, Jesus was not the son of God.
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-14-2010, 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasheed View Post
I find that the modern Muslim interpretation of "stoning" to be too liberal, light and ultimately too humane. These days a lot of people in my town have taken to going for headshots to ensure a quick death for the sinner but I remember a time when you started on the feet and only when they were crushed to a pulp would you proceed.
If you don't mind I am going to print this out. Great tips, start at feet, avoid the head shot. Got it
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-15-2010, 07:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
If you don't mind I am going to print this out. Great tips, start at feet, avoid the head shot.
Indeed. Surprising as it may be, it seems we can learn a thing or two from Rasheed. Pity he will have to burn in Hell.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-16-2010, 02:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grandmother Wilson View Post
Please cure this poor mooslim of his stupidity and godlessness
I could not agree more Sister. If he would become a True Christian™ he could give us useful advice once Biblical law is implemented in America.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-16-2010, 05:12 PM

Your logical arguments and sensible views have begun to make me question my Islamic faith.
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-16-2010, 05:16 PM

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Originally Posted by Rasheed View Post
Your logical arguments and sensible views have begun to make me question my Islamic faith.
No, it's Jesus who does that. Jesus and the Holy Ghost are chasing the demons out of your colon even as we speak. Praise His name!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-16-2010, 05:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
No, it's Jesus who does that. Jesus and the Holy Ghost are chasing the demons out of your colon even as we speak. Praise His name!
Praise Him indeed!
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Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-17-2010, 12:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasheed View Post
Praise Him indeed!
It's a miracle! Praise The LORD!


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-17-2010, 01:34 AM

I will begin the arduous but worthwhile task of reading the Holy KJV.
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-19-2010, 11:31 AM

@Rasheed do you like reading the #KJV1611? I read it a LOT and I LOVE it!


I Jesus!
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Fittjävel is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Fittjävel is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Fittjävel is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-19-2010, 12:54 PM

what a hell is wrong with you people..are you serious?
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Default Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them) - 04-19-2010, 12:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by haistakaaperse View Post
what a hell is wrong with you people..are you serious?
We are VERY serious! Hell is an awful place and it is VERY important that you prevent yourself from ending up there!


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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