[HTannor]

My Brothers and Sisters: Please forgive me for posting a rant, but I feel I must vent my feelings.


This morning, Dotty Dingle, one of my law clerks, took time out from her important work to tell me not to forget “Secretary’s Day.’ When I asked her what that day was, she told me that I should purchase a greeting card, give it to my secretary, and take her to lunch to show her my appreciation for the work she does here in the office.


By way of background , I must tell you that, upon assuming my office, I searched far and wide for an eligible applicant for the Secretary’s position and settled upon this person :





Considering the unique qualifications this person brought to the position, I feel that $151,899 per year is adequate, but perhaps not, and this brings my dilemma.


Since I have been awarded with the status of True Christian, I felt searching the Good Book would answer any question I have on this subject. And I found it here:


Exodus 20:8
8Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.


There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord Jesus recognizes only one day as worthy of a greeting card – The Sabbeth!


My Brothers and Sisters, DO NOT succumb to the Hallmark Greeting Card Company’s crass commercial attempts to lure you into in to recognizing any of the other “holidays” they promote to suck you into buying one of their cards. And here, I’m talking about their spurious “holiday” cards such as “Secretary’s Day,” “Bosses Day,” or “I Have a Sore on Tallywacker Day.”



Choose your subordinates carefully and give them adequate compensation. That’s all they need.

[Youth Minister Harry]

Wise indeed, Brother Tannor! The Biblical instruction to keep Holy the Sabbath is a simple one to follow. Not like the twisted, perverse money-grubbing greeting card industry with all of their made up "Valentines", "Secretary's Day", and "Little League Pitcher/Catcher Day". Oh, Hallmark CLAIMS to be in the greetings business, but they are really driven by money, twisting words around to suit whatever their purpose that week may be. Thank God I'm a Christian instead!

Stirring The Blood Cocktail Of Christ's Salvation,
Harry Lester

[Born Again Bob]

Dear Brother Tannor,

May I compliment you on your choice of assistant? If I'm not mistaken, she was not only an Articles Editor on her edition of the Stanford Law Review, but co-wrote a comment on Constitutional minimalism with Cass Sunstein!

Yours in His Purely Scholarly Appreciation,
BAB

[Nobar King]

This is when people show their true colors. Are you happy with your job and your salary or do you want to beg the person who pays you for just a little bit more? This is in addition to a yearly bonus, I presume.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Brother Tannor,While we know the final answer will always be found in the Bible it is also good to look around and see what is happening in other business sectors to temper your decisions on employee interactions, I think it is called seeing what the market will bear. Today's market seems to be trending toward give them what you think they deserve, they are lucky to have a job. This has been shown to work very well with civic employees as demonstrated by the State of Wisconsin.Give the GOP another year and This country will be as strong as we were during the time of the Steel Barons of the late 1800's and nobody can argue there was never a bigger growth spurt for US industry. Now for a special employee, like your secretary you have to pay for that extra special staff because persons with her qualifications could go out tomorrow to any office with no problem at all. Basically I am saying she would fall into the same category as any upper management employee.

When will she be hand washing your car again, it is a show I don't want to miss!

[HTannor]

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis

Now for a special employee, like your secretary you have to pay for that extra special staff because persons with her qualifications could go out tomorrow to any office with no problem at all. Basically I am saying she would fall into the same category as any upper management employee.
!

Brother Davis, your affirmation of my choice in candidates is greatly appreciated.

During the interview process I always ask of the candidates if they have any special skills beyond the basis position requirements. In the case of Miss Smith, she mentioned her experience in moped maintenance. We immediately retired to the parking lot where she demonstrated her proficiency by 1) fine-tuning my carburetor using only a finger nail file and mascara brush, and 2) polishing my dipstick.

Upon returning to my office, she noticed the fireplace and said she'd haul my ashes whenever I ask.

I, of course, immediately offered her the position.

[HTannor]

Originally Posted by James Dewitt

Sweet Jesus, Brother Tannor, are you blind? Cant you see that woman has a tattoo on her naked foot?

Not to worry, Brothers. It's my thumb print. It got a bit smeared while I was helping her change out of her cowboy boots into something more sensible.