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Default No more excuses for you fatties! - 09-16-2011, 05:52 AM
I've heard it a thousand times: "I can't join Overeaters Anonymous because it's a false Christian cult, and and I don't want to go to Weight Watchers because they have so many female employees who work outside the home."

So you just sit there wallowing in cheese cake and your wife's pie.

Well no more! Now there is a Christian approach to weight loss, and it's been working wonders for me:




Order your copy here!

This C.S. Lewis fellow is truly one of our age's great Christian thinkers, and besides helping you shed those ugly pounds, he also does yeoman like duty debunking alleged contradictions in the Bible:

Why Godly Christians Have Evil Thoughts


Though I must confess I'm a bit concerned about the above essay's mention of a "revised" English Bible, I suspect you'll agree with me that C.S. Lewis's scriptural reasoning is sound.

Shout Glory!


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Default Re: No more excuses for you fatties! - 09-16-2011, 10:30 AM
My wife spent a few years obese, before I came to Christ. She blamed her hugeness on having had 8 children. What nonsense, it's not like they're still in there, right?

After a brief consultation with Landover's pastors, I implemented their simple yet elegant solution and increased her daily chores, particularly in our small 20 acre garden. That, coupled with a padlock on the fridge, slimmed her down nicely.
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Default Re: No more excuses for you fatties! - 09-16-2011, 06:18 PM
Well said! It's been my observation that women tend to use pregnancy and childbirth as an excuse for just about anything and everything.

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Default Re: No more excuses for you fatties! - 09-16-2011, 07:29 PM
I was a bulbous fatty eating myself to death, that was before I found Landover. Brother Porter suggested I try Rev. Jim's system "Sweating to the Old Testament" as it was the only authorized weight loss program approved by Landover. It worked wonders and I am now at my target weight!

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My wife spent a few years obese, before I came to Christ. She blamed her hugeness on having had 8 children. What nonsense, it's not like they're still in there, right?
Truer words could not have been spoken, it's laziness pure and simple. After the birth of my second son my wife's legs looked like tree stumps. I wasn't having it - I "told" her she'd be spending a lot of time locked away in her menstra-hut if she didn't get on board Rev. Jim's program. Like any decent True Christian™ woman, she submitted to my will.

-Every young man's battle - PORN AND MASTURBATION![/SIZE]
-DISOWN your ATHEIST children - just like this good mother did!!

-FINALLY!! Some rights for the rapists!!
-There is no such thing as animal abuse!!
-Pregnancy through RAPE is a GIFT from God
-Keep the Fags out of the Boy Scouts!!
-WIVES!! Stay in your abusive relationship!

STOP, DROP & ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL!!!!
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