Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
Reload this Page This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Sons of Liberty Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,420
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-23-2021, 07:51 PM

The Salvation Army is catching is from all sides this Christmas. Putting money in the drum to save a drunken bum is not flying. And, rightfully so.

During its hay day, the Army staying straight and true. It did not employ any homers. If homers got into its free meals, it did not approve but tried not to look at these disgusting people.

Homers and liberals complained. So, the Army first issued a statement saying it only discriminated in hiring, not in service to those in need. Complaints continued so the new policy is homers can work for the Army. Good Christians said goodbye to the Army.

Then, the Army published an essay explaining it endorsed woke Christianity; Black Live Matter was its new mantra. Whatever Christian goodwill was left after feeding homers went out the window.

Sorry, but the Salvation Army should have stayed Christian instead of accommodating sinners and promoting mixed race marriages. It will march into the sunset.

If you have money to give this Christmas, give it to Landover Baptist. None of it will go to feed the poor.

Waging war against the Salvation Army (religionnews.com)


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
(#2)
Old
Dennis Lukes's Avatar
Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Wall of Jesus True Christian™ Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Inn Keeper for Christ Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars QAnon Storm Chaser TC Bravery Stamp of Approval Outreach preacher Wrath of God Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 2,217
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Owning the Libs
Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-24-2021, 05:17 PM

If there's a true Army of Salvation in the land, it is surely LBC, not those sissy homers. Do those bell ringers all have concealed carry permits? No. But LBC Christians do. Could street corner Santas form a citizens' militia at a moment's notice? No! But LBC could! Does the SA know anything about survivalism, sovereign citizenship, posse commitatus, 1488, Phineas Priesthood, Christian Identity, or Q? Do they read Soldier of Fortune or watch InfoWars? Can they field-strip an AR-15? Have any red kettle jockeys been indicted or even investigated for... I'll shut up now. Some army! Landover Baptist Church is the TRUE Salvation Army.


I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
(#3)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Polling for Christ Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Chocolate Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 9,986
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-24-2021, 07:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Do those bell ringers all have concealed carry permits? No. But LBC Christians do. Could street corner Santas form a citizens' militia at a moment's notice? No! But LBC could! Does the SA know anything about survivalism, sovereign citizenship, posse commitatus, 1488, Phineas Priesthood, Christian Identity, or Q? Do they read Soldier of Fortune or watch InfoWars? Can they field-strip an AR-15?
You make some excellent points, Brother Lukes. In order to effectively serve Jesus, a person needs a broader skill set than just memorizing Scripture. The Apostle Paul knew how to sew tents, Peter knew how to fish, Luke had some medical training and Matthew knew how to keep ledgers.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
(#4)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 12,809
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-25-2021, 04:20 AM

If there is one good thing about the pandemic, is that it wiped out the Salvation Army bums collecting money at shopping malls.
(#5)
Old
Dennis Lukes's Avatar
Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Wall of Jesus True Christian™ Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Inn Keeper for Christ Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars QAnon Storm Chaser TC Bravery Stamp of Approval Outreach preacher Wrath of God Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 2,217
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Owning the Libs
Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-25-2021, 12:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
If there is one good thing about the pandemic, is that it wiped out the Salvation Army bums collecting money at shopping malls.
Yes if you go to your local Walmart or farm and fleet store you'll find a red kettle hanging out front but no bell-ringing elderly sex offender with booze on his breath. They're getting very lazy. I'm surprised the kettles don't just have credit card slots - millennials don't use hard currency.


I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
(#6)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Sons of Liberty Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,420
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-25-2021, 03:05 PM

People need to consider what they are getting for their donated money at Christmastime. Give to the Salvation Army, what did you accomplish? At best, you fed another drunk for a day. Few, if any, of them become True Christians.

Give to Landover Baptist and you are paying for Pastor Zeke to jet around the world saving souls. As a bonus, he collects big bucks at every stop.

You worked hard for your money. Put that money to good use.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
(#7)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 12,809
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-25-2021, 06:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Yes if you go to your local Walmart or farm and fleet store you'll find a red kettle hanging out front but no bell-ringing elderly sex offender with booze on his breath.
Thank you Jesus for covid:

Quote:
It’s a tradition that’s as normal as seeing holiday lights around town — the bells of the Salvation Army ringing at grocery stores, drug stores and shopping malls. Those little red kettles are a major way the Salvation Army keeps its charities going, but during unprecedented times, a bell ringer shortage is impacting donations, which have declined this year.
(#8)
Old
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is online now
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 2015 Witch Hunt Award Trump of GOD Asked questions later Persecuted Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Stamp of Approval Hands Off BFF of Jesus Polling for Christ Anti-Biden WWJD

 
Posts: 6,088
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Godless New York City
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-25-2021, 07:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
If there's a true Army of Salvation in the land, it is surely LBC, not those sissy homers. Do those bell ringers all have concealed carry permits? No. But LBC Christians do. Could street corner Santas form a citizens' militia at a moment's notice? No! But LBC could! Does the SA know anything about survivalism, sovereign citizenship, posse commitatus, 1488, Phineas Priesthood, Christian Identity, or Q? Do they read Soldier of Fortune or watch InfoWars? Can they field-strip an AR-15? Have any red kettle jockeys been indicted or even investigated for... I'll shut up now. Some army! Landover Baptist Church is the TRUE Salvation Army.
How True! Firearms training was always my favorite part of Sunday school.


The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!
(#9)
Old
The Attention Seeker Jen's Avatar
The Attention Seeker Jen (On Moderation) The Attention Seeker Jen is offline
Unsaved trash
Female incel (probably born as a man): ugly, boring, and witless
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Incel Uppity Woman/Enabler The Dimmest Light of the Month Award Rides the Short Bus Full of it Democrat Drag Queen Attention whore Brain cancer level boring Langobard Midget porn UFO

 
Posts: 257
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Dorito production line
The Attention Seeker Jen is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Pie Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-26-2021, 10:11 PM

I'm sorry I missed everyone this Christmas. It was awful lonely. Nobody came to my festive shin-dig due to COVID-19 fears, so I had to finish it myself, (waste not, want not). And boy, you don't know what you're missing!

After carolling around my flat to all my tenants with my interpretive, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, I returned back to my room and put away the entire feast, and what a feast.


PRE-DRINK


Aperitifs - mini liqueur samplers flavoured candy-cane and cinnamon followed by pink champagne.


Appetizers followed - Gouda stuffed dates wrapped in bacon, with tuna topped crackers and chives, followed by egg and potato salad and and surprise Ambrosia to follow.


2nd round of appetizers: Fero gourged with carrot purree and sour cream, mulled wine and period blood marinated chicken fingers with plum and ranch dipping sauce, followed by a veggie platter of carrots, cauliflower, eggplant, cherry tomatoes, celery and watermelon to keep those calories in check.

3rd round of appitzers:Squaw with lemon and creme fraiche, smoked salmon slices and prosciutto, and a cheese platter with gorgonzola, blue, harfarti, bree and marbleized chedder with pepper pips. This was followed by more cheese, a fountain fondue with aged cheddar on pretzel sticks.

Finally, the main course (or the start of it at least, can you believe I'm still famished??)

1st course Choice of cream of bacon and corn chowder stew or cockleleekie soup (I chose both) with sesame bread rolls and real extra thick butter. A lemon water was served with this to cleanse my palate and my armpits.

2nd course Roasted corn and potato medley with hot butter cream along with mashed turnip and parsnip bake, and grated parmigiano with a special curry and rice on the side (as an alternative, but in my home, there's no alternative. )

3rd course - Ratatouille with pig bladder pate and a tripe tartar. Fake crab meat served out of a hollowed pelican beak, drizzled in lemon, groin yeast and butter (I might had overdid it here) served on a bed of scallions and a glass of Chardonnay.

4th course - Haggis stuffed in goat uterus, with blood sausage, suckling pig and hot mustard, buffalo burgers with slices of tomato, Jack cheddar, iceberg lettuce, special garlic aioli followed by their deep fried testicles served with frites.

5th course - Swordfish and grouse served simultaneously as a "fowl of the air, fish of the sea special" along with goat kabob flambee (I think this was the billy goat born of the goat I used for the haggis), and punch romaine. Roasted peacock (I replaced the feathers and fashioned them into a sort of Christmas headdress I wore last night, and replaced the feathers with shark fins for the gourmet dish)

6th course - By now, the meal is starting to settle down, so here I came to a crescendo of pan-seered duck and horse (quack and track) with garden vegetables, plus a simple lasagna (but ran out of cottage cheese for the centre, so I subbed with...something else.)

7th course - I'm afraid burned this course, sadly (ate it still), I mean, it was just me in the kitchen, but whatever, this was Heaven's Egg pudding (What is Heaven's Egg? It's the opposite of Deviled Eggs, I use sprinkles instead of cayenne) - The pudding was a mixture of cranberry sauce, cantaloupe and my special mung.

Pre-dessert -After that hearty meal, I served up some fruit platter with grapes, blood oranges, clementine, apple slices along with some Camembert cheese, plus a slight tipple of sherry (I'm not a lush I swear. I know the Bible says some things about alcohol, but my BMI cancels out the effects, so, I'm good)

Penultimate dessert - Baked Alaska with maraschino cherries, and my choice of vanilla, fudge or butterscotch nipple ice cream. Oh yeah, and funnel cake.

Dessert - Flaming Christmas pudding with brandy liqueur, flan and more funnel cake, a hot fudge banana split, along with a fresh apple pie.
Postdessert
- By now, I'm starting to settle into the final stretches of the evening, with a glass of eggnog, plus some Terry's chocolate oranges, jellybeans and an entire gingerbread house.

Phew!

So what does all that to do with giving back? Well, I'm not a total hog. I have a big heart and I love to share with the community. It's not fault nobody came to my party, and since I'm not a bottomless void, I have scrapped all the leftovers into some cheese cloth (even extracted some of the slop that drizzled down my chin and onto my evening gown) and I want to send it your way, to it can be distributed to the needy. This is a special offer indeed, and I think you should claim soon as some of the feast is destined to grow mould that will be less difficult to discern from the tasty parts as time passes!

Merry Christmas! Love, Jen XOXOXO
(#10)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 12,809
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-26-2021, 11:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen View Post
long list of expensive foreign foods removed for brevity
Trying to read through all these foreign food names and ingredients gave me a stomachache. Good for you for making it to the top 1%, but I'd prefer to spend all that money on a piece of rose gold Georgian jewelry (featuring rose cut diamonds, obviously) rather than on unpronounceable foods containing weird ingredients. Crème fraîche?! What is that, some kind of a maggot?


(#11)
Old
The Attention Seeker Jen's Avatar
The Attention Seeker Jen (On Moderation) The Attention Seeker Jen is offline
Unsaved trash
Female incel (probably born as a man): ugly, boring, and witless
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Incel Uppity Woman/Enabler The Dimmest Light of the Month Award Rides the Short Bus Full of it Democrat Drag Queen Attention whore Brain cancer level boring Langobard Midget porn UFO

 
Posts: 257
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Dorito production line
The Attention Seeker Jen is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-26-2021, 11:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Trying to read through all these foreign food names and ingredients gave me a stomachache. Good for you for making it to the top 1%, but I'd prefer to spend all that money on a piece of rose gold Georgian jewelry (featuring rose cut diamonds) rather than on unpronounceable foods containing weird ingredients. Crème fraîche?! What is that, some kind of a maggot?
Oh no, I'm no 1%-er. Far from it. Otherwise, I'd love to give you all a hefty tithe to support Jesus. No, I paid for it with a stipend from my medical leave.
(#12)
Old
Dennis Lukes's Avatar
Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Wall of Jesus True Christian™ Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Inn Keeper for Christ Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars QAnon Storm Chaser TC Bravery Stamp of Approval Outreach preacher Wrath of God Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 2,217
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Owning the Libs
Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Thumbs down Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-27-2021, 12:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen View Post
I'm sorry I missed everyone this Christmas.
We're not sorry, and we certainly didn't miss you. Frankly we were hoping you'd never come back. Some people just can't take a hint.


I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
(#13)
Old
Roland's Avatar
Roland Roland is offline
Obese Swedish Meatball
Delusional Forum Member
 

Nutjob Meatball Worshiper Beastiality Hellbound Heathen Bleeding heart liebral Eurotrash Glutton Condemned Reaper Frenchie Barney Spaghettarian Piratefish Grammar Nazi Drunk Numbers Nazi Perv Stalker Panda Sinner Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars One Year/1000 posts Probing for Jesus Chili Chemtrail Confused about midget porn

 
Posts: 2,205
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-27-2021, 01:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
We're not sorry, and we certainly didn't miss you. Frankly we were hoping you'd never come back. Some people just can't take a hint.

I hope you don´t mean that. Your God only permanently rejects those who insult the Holy Ghost: Mark 3:29


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
(#14)
Old
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is online now
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 2015 Witch Hunt Award Trump of GOD Asked questions later Persecuted Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Stamp of Approval Hands Off BFF of Jesus Polling for Christ Anti-Biden WWJD

 
Posts: 6,088
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Godless New York City
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-27-2021, 06:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
I hope you don´t mean that. Your God only permanently rejects those who insult the Holy Ghost: Mark 3:29
As Christians, we're all about love and forgiveness. If sinners sincerely repent and turn their lives over to Christ Jesus, we would not have a problem with them. But honestly, what do you think the chances are of that happening in this case?

Unless we see signs of true repentance, why would we want this particular sinner littering our message boards? In your case, at least you quote the Bible correctly, so we haven't yet completely given up hope.


The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!
(#15)
Old
The Attention Seeker Jen's Avatar
The Attention Seeker Jen (On Moderation) The Attention Seeker Jen is offline
Unsaved trash
Female incel (probably born as a man): ugly, boring, and witless
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Incel Uppity Woman/Enabler The Dimmest Light of the Month Award Rides the Short Bus Full of it Democrat Drag Queen Attention whore Brain cancer level boring Langobard Midget porn UFO

 
Posts: 257
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Dorito production line
The Attention Seeker Jen is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-27-2021, 09:27 PM

In all fairness, I've quoted the Bible correctly too when I chose to. Dislike me all you wish, but Scripture is scripture.
(#16)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Polling for Christ Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Chocolate Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 9,986
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-27-2021, 09:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen View Post
In all fairness, I've quoted the Bible correctly too when I chose to. Dislike me all you wish, but Scripture is scripture.
Satan also quoted Scripture in a doomed effort to get quippy with Christ.

There is a certain transparency to your efforts when you throw Bible quotes into the mix. One doesn't get the feeling that you want anyone to actually learn about the Bible when you compose your posts.


What is your actual motivation for engaging in this Bible discussion forum?


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
(#17)
Old
Emily Brent's Avatar
Emily Brent Emily Brent is offline
Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
 

Cutter Facepalm Langobard

 
Posts: 117
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-28-2021, 05:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Trying to read through all these foreign food names and ingredients gave me a stomachache. Good for you for making it to the top 1%, but I'd prefer to spend all that money on a piece of rose gold Georgian jewelry (featuring rose cut diamonds, obviously) rather than on unpronounceable foods containing weird ingredients. Crème fraîche?! What is that, some kind of a maggot?




I wouldn't recommend those, dear. Too Hollywood tart, you're better than that. Look at the size of those, you could whip someone to death.


I could knit you a grey shawl, wouldn't that be so much nicer?


No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.
(#18)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 12,809
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-28-2021, 06:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
I wouldn't recommend those, dear. Too Hollywood tart, you're better than that. Look at the size of those, you could whip someone to death.
It wouldn't be for daily wear, obviously. They are much less heavy than they look, with the rose cut diamonds being so flat:



This is the modern version of a rose cut. Antique rose cut is the full rose cut (the double rose cut on the right is a modern abomination), but antique rose cut diamonds are much less symmetrical, and often flatter (almost like a flat sheet, with three to six barely visible and unevenly sized facets).

Quote:
I could knit you a grey shawl, wouldn't that be so much nicer?
Not really. Grey shawl wouldn't go well with yellow and rose gold jewelry, and I honestly doubt it would be fine enough to go with Victorian silver-over-gold diamond jewelry, or Edwardian platinum jewelry. Unless you could knit using the vicuña wool.
(#19)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Polling for Christ Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Chocolate Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 9,986
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-28-2021, 08:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
I wouldn't recommend those, dear. Too Hollywood tart, you're better than that. Look at the size of those, you could whip someone to death.


I could knit you a grey shawl, wouldn't that be so much nicer?
Miss Brent, our dear Sister is, indeed, better than a Hollywood tart. She is a True Christian™ Lady and a married woman.

If her generous husband wants to gift her with fabulous jewels, then it would be an insult to his kindness and blessed status for her to refuse to bedeck herself in whatever he chose to offer. A lady's appearance is always an expression of her husband's position. And, as I understand it, Enrique's position is considerable. I believe that he and our Pastor Zeke collaborate on any number of ventures.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
(#20)
Old
The Attention Seeker Jen's Avatar
The Attention Seeker Jen (On Moderation) The Attention Seeker Jen is offline
Unsaved trash
Female incel (probably born as a man): ugly, boring, and witless
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Incel Uppity Woman/Enabler The Dimmest Light of the Month Award Rides the Short Bus Full of it Democrat Drag Queen Attention whore Brain cancer level boring Langobard Midget porn UFO

 
Posts: 257
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Dorito production line
The Attention Seeker Jen is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: This Christmas Give to Landover Baptist, not the Salvation Army - 12-28-2021, 09:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Miss Brent, our dear Sister is, indeed, better than a Hollywood tart. She is a True Christian™ Lady and a married woman.

If her generous husband wants to gift her with fabulous jewels, then it would be an insult to his kindness and blessed status for her to refuse to bedeck herself in whatever he chose to offer. A lady's appearance is always an expression of her husband's position. And, as I understand it, Enrique's position is considerable. I believe that he and our Pastor Zeke collaborate on any number of ventures.
I think Emily's dead. You're talking to a corpse.
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved