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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-11-2009, 02:07 AM

Thanks guys, I needed a good laugh.

BTW, I prayed and thanked the Lord for making entertaining people like you.

If you feel the urge, please don't pray for me, I don't think I want your word with the big guy.
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-11-2009, 02:17 AM

Another atheist who can't make up his mind? You must have hit your head on too many low-hanging cave entrances, mr. caveman.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-11-2009, 01:31 PM

I wonder if he's heard that recording from Russia where they drill into Hell and you hear the actual screams?
http://www.amightywind.com/hell/audiofilelinks.htm


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-28-2009, 05:47 PM

I was a former caver in the grips of Satan the almighty demon.
We held "grotto meetings" in caves where all forms of sexual perversion take place along with human sacrifices. I saw Satan appear regularly a these functions along with a red headed lepricon. Beware of the Dogwood City grotto in Atlanta! These folks are the ring leaders. The high priest is Don Brown. This guy is satan's left hand man.
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-28-2009, 05:54 PM

The Bible belt is riddled with these organizations.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-28-2009, 06:01 PM

After all this talk of fornication in caves I decided to get back into caving so I can find some virgins. Speaking of virgins, did GOD fornicate with Mary or did he just commit adultry? Maybe he did neither, maybe he DID IT in the spirit. By the way, we know where the gates of hell are located, so don't f___ with us or we'll loose the pigs on you. These pigs like to play "Who's ya daddy" (if you know what I mean).
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-28-2009, 06:14 PM

If you'd bother to read the Bible, the answer would be obvious.
Try Luke, Chapter one. The whole chapter is more than I should quote here.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-28-2009, 10:34 PM



Y'all are cracked in the head. Seriously. Whoever made the comment about smoking weed in caves is an idiot--all cavers know you don't smoke in caves because it damages them.

Quit your Bible thumping and explore the world a little. You may be suprised what you find beyond the reaches of your own @ss.
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-28-2009, 10:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaveGirl View Post


Y'all are cracked in the head. Seriously. Whoever made the comment about smoking weed in caves is an idiot--all cavers know you don't smoke in caves because it damages them.

Quit your Bible thumping and explore the world a little. You may be suprised what you find beyond the reaches of your own @ss.
You have us confused with homos.


Luke 5:31
And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-29-2009, 12:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaveGirl View Post
-all cavers know you don't smoke in caves because it damages them.
Are you sure that ALL of them know that?


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-29-2009, 06:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Are you sure that ALL of them know that?
Cavers know. Maybe no spelunkers.

I did have sex in a cave once or twice. Yay for fornication!
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-29-2009, 06:32 AM

Oh. A proud slut.

I'm sure your parents are proud too.


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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-29-2009, 05:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Oh. A proud slut.

I'm sure your parents are proud too.
Who do you think taught me my slutty ways?
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-29-2009, 06:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaveGirl View Post
Who do you think taught me my slutty ways?
Another slut I'm guessing.



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being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 05-29-2009, 06:43 PM

Obviously Satan!


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 08-27-2009, 02:10 PM

Just wanted to respond to this:
Hey,Dear D Thomas,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

Reason: Calling God Almighty a rapist
-------
God did NOT rape Mary! She gladly submitted to Him.

And even if He did rape her, so what? He's God! He can do whatever He likes!!

Take your hatespeech and go pester someone else.
-------

This infraction is worth 100 point(s) and may result in restricted access until it expires. Serious infractions will never expire.

Original Post:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=329329
Quote:
After all this talk of fornication in caves I decided to get back into caving so I can find some virgins. Speaking of virgins, did GOD fornicate with Mary or did he just commit adultry? Maybe he did neither, maybe he DID IT in the spirit. By the way, we know where the gates of hell are located, so don't f___ with us or we'll loose the pigs on you. These pigs like to play "Who's ya daddy" (if you know what I mean).

As you can see I didn't call God a rapist I questioned whether or not he was a fornicator or an adulterer. Bet you had a tough time with reading comprehension on those pesky school tests
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 08-27-2009, 04:59 PM

Caves would appear to be the equivalent of an anus for the landscape. And we all know what kind of filth is fixated on anuses . . .





Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 08-02-2010, 02:12 AM

Wow that was interesting I always felt that when I was caving i was being given the chance to basque in beauty that God created all the while getting excercise and being active.

p.s. By the way remember let he who has no sin cast the first stone.

I am sure that I miss quoted that so before you call me out on it I know but the message is still there
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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 08-02-2010, 05:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jbfaraday View Post
Wow that was interesting I always felt that when I was caving i was being given the chance to basque in beauty that God created all the while getting excercise and being active.

p.s. By the way remember let he who has no sin cast the first stone.

I am sure that I miss quoted that so before you call me out on it I know but the message is still there
Yes, the actual quote is this...

John 8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

But, that has no bearing here. See, Jesus said that when He was addressing a group of sinners, not True Christians™. We True Christians™ are without sin, therefore we can cast stones.

1st John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.



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Default Re: Cavers/spelunkers Satan's spawn!!! - 09-01-2010, 12:50 AM

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Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.]
Jesus died for our sins. To consider Christians sinless is to commit the sin of pride. No bonus points for taking his name in vain in the execution.
A jaunt of spelunking would go well in this forum. After all, from what I've seen so far, this place is full of trolls.
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