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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 10-07-2007, 09:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post

The Pillsbury Doughboy has always sickened and disgusted me. And to have named this vile little piece of fluff after Our Manly and Heroic Men who fought so bravely during World War I, too!
So right Sister SUV! I can't wait for the day Jesus butt-kicks its fat squishy repulsive little body into satan's Lake of Fire!

... marshmallows, anyone?


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 10-07-2007, 07:05 PM

Pudgy little Homer makes kids hate Jesus.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 06:44 AM

Why would Pillsbury have a gay mascot? In fact, why would a real humanoid piece of dough have a sexual orientation at all? The reason he has a high voice and laughs when he is poked is because people find it cute. Think about it, babies are cute, babies have high pitched voices, and if you poke their belly (not too hard) they will giggle. By associating the pillsbury doughboy with a baby people will be more attracted to it and more likely to buy the product.
The term "Poppin' fresh" has to do with the fact that the dough is trying to rise in the container but it doesn't create enough pressure to break it. When you open it the pressure releases all at once making a popping sound. The "phallic" shape of the container is also due to the pressure. A square box would have weak points at the corners and edges making it more likely to pop open during shipping. A sphere shape would be the best for containing the pressure but it would be impractical to ship and store and difficult to produce. A cylinder shape is the most practical alternative.
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 06:50 AM

I see Satan can justify anything.
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 07:07 AM

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Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
I see Satan can justify anything.
Are you implying that I'm Satan or that the Pillsbury Doughboy is using an elaborate scheme to cover up the fact that he is Satan? I just don't want any confusion.
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 09:05 AM

You're the only one who is confused here, snippo.


Ack!
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 10:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneaky Hippo View Post
Why would Pillsbury have a gay mascot?
Children emulate what they see on television. Obviously General Mills, which owns the Pillsbury brand name, is attempting to turn every last American boy gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneaky Hippo View Post
By associating the pillsbury doughboy with a baby people will be more attracted to it
You disgust me. Only a sicko would write something like that. Do you work for General Mills?
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 10:48 AM

General Mills also manufactures Frankenberry, which proves beyond a doubt that the company has a homosexual agenda. I have previously exposed this wicked product for what it is. Here are the sickening facts about this so-called "children's" cereal:

1. The spokesperson is an effeminate Frankenstein's monster with a buttocks-shaped head.

2. The name of the cereal is a disgusting reference to male genitalia: "frank" and "berries."

3. The cereal is strawberry-flavored. It is an incontestable fact that the strawberry, after the banana, is the fruit most likely to turn young boys gay.




Observe the monster's limp wrists and dainty posture in the first picture above. In the second picture, notice the excitement in the monster's eyes as he inserts the spoon into his mouth, a clear indication that the picture is intended to simulate fellatio.

The pink packaging alone should be a warning sign to any discerning, Christian parent. Please, stock your pantry with safe cereal, such as unsweetened, bite-size Shredded Wheat or unsweetened, normal-sized Shredded Wheat. Switch between the two to offer your child variety and fun at breakfast time.
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 11:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneaky Hippo View Post
Are you implying that I'm Satan or that the Pillsbury Doughboy is using an elaborate scheme to cover up the fact that he is Satan? I just don't want any confusion.
Yet you obviously ARE confused. Maybe you should seek the Word of God to see what His plan is for you.

God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned.--2 Th.2:11-12


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 12:41 PM

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...ghlight=cereal

Here is the brilliant thread about cereal !


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 01:20 PM

Kellogg's is almost as reprehensible as General Mills. The Michigan-based company came up with Fruit Loops. Permit me to dissect the "fruitiness" of this cereal.

1. Its mascot is a garish bird named "Toucan Sam." "Toucan" is phonetically identical to "two can." Sam is an acronym for "sodomize a man." So the character's name translates to "two can sodomize a man," clearly an endorsement of homosexual orgies.



2. Sam's beak is large and suggestive. It is rounded like a tallywacker rather than pointy like an actual toucan's beak. It also has a buttocks shape near its base. This obscene shape is nowhere to be found on real toucans.



3. The cereal is comprised of rainbow-colored anuses. I think the previous sentence stands by itself.

Not to be outdone, General Mills began manufacturing this abomination:

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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-11-2008, 11:56 PM

The reason I asked if it was me or the Doughboy was the devil is that if I assumed you meant it was me someone would have pointed out that it never said me specificly and that I have a guilty consience. I've seen it happen on other threads so a clear answer would be quite appreciated.

Why would General Mills want to turn children gay? Everyone likes cinnimon rolls regardless of sexual orientation so it wouldn't do much to help buisiness. Or are you suggesting that Satan founded General Mills and it using pastries to corrupt the nations children.

I don't see how me saying that the doughboy is meant to remind people of a baby makes me a sicko. No, I don't work for General Mills either.

The name Frankenberry is just combining the flavor (berry) with the mascot (frankenstein). The name Frankenberry flows better than, say, Berryenstein. The idea that being limp wristed, effeminate, and pink means that you are gay is just a stereotype. I know that you all hate homosexuals and believe that they are trying to corrupt children but that's only more reason to understand them. If you don't understand their "evil" how can you avoid it?

How do strawberries make children gay? Do they contain a chemical that changes sexual preference? Or is it sexually suggestive in some way that I don't see?

The name Toucan Sam is called that because he is, well, a toucan! SAM could be an acronym for a lot of things such as "Sell a motorcycle" or "Stop all mischief". Or it could just be Sam because Toucan Sam sounds better than Toucan Mike or Toucan Edward.



If you look at the orange part of this toucan's beak near the mouth you shall see that it does somewhat resemble a butt.

Exactly how does a ring shape automaticly symbolize and anus? By that logic you could say that a wedding ring is really a wedding anus or that Jesus wore an anus or thorns on his head before being crucified instead of a crown of thorns. (Before I get attacked for that last sentence let me jus say that I'm not trying to insult Jesus in any way, I'm just trying to show an error in your logic.)
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-12-2008, 12:21 AM

Goodness me! A logician has infiltrated our Godly forum.

About rings and circles and donuts and sodomite imagery: I will not post G0at$e, and in my exalted role as board idiot I forbid you to do so (of course you wouldn't but I must be clear, you understand of course). But if you would, visualize that very common image...urgh. Ewwww! Never mind. Do NOT visualize it.

Let us just say that topologists view the vertebrate body plan as a donut, the digestive system being the hole in the donut. Or if you are Hawaiian, the haole in the donut. </jest>

The reproductive system of the female, of course, is not topologically equivalent to a hole at all. This may startle many teenaged boys, but it is true.

Now, not all rings symbolize ungodly introcoarse with the nether digestive tract. You are quite right in that. That is where Christian insight comes into play.

Christians are people of faith. (Lately I have become fond of writing that. I think I will write it again!) Christians are people of FAITH! Christians will pick faith over logic every time. Logic plays a nice fiddle, but it is second fiddle. Faith is the first chair; faith is the concertmaster.

And so (having come the long way about) we have faith that we can recognize the unrighteous and unGodly efforts of liberal-dominated cereal companies to corrupt Christian youth. Our faith leads us to recognize the wedding ring as a symbol of Christ's never-ending love and the circular logic of Biblical infallibility, and the circular cereal bits promoted by Toucan Sam as a thinly veiled visual metaphor for homosexual rump-lust.

One can present a whole symphony of logic, but to the faithful logic is meant only to harmonize with faith...and never to take over the main theme.

That is why you should vote Huckabee for President. He is of the Faithful, and you can be sure that his national policies will not be guided by anything as flawed as human logic and reason.

Praise ye the Lord...but not Toucan Sam!

~~ OEJ
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-12-2008, 12:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneaky Hippo View Post
The reason I asked if it was me or the Doughboy was the devil is that if I assumed you meant it was me someone would have pointed out that it never said me specificly and that I have a guilty consience. I've seen it happen on other threads so a clear answer would be quite appreciated.

Why would General Mills want to turn children gay? Everyone likes cinnimon rolls regardless of sexual orientation so it wouldn't do much to help buisiness. Or are you suggesting that Satan founded General Mills and it using pastries to corrupt the nations children.

I don't see how me saying that the doughboy is meant to remind people of a baby makes me a sicko. No, I don't work for General Mills either.

The name Frankenberry is just combining the flavor (berry) with the mascot (frankenstein). The name Frankenberry flows better than, say, Berryenstein. The idea that being limp wristed, effeminate, and pink means that you are gay is just a stereotype. I know that you all hate homosexuals and believe that they are trying to corrupt children but that's only more reason to understand them. If you don't understand their "evil" how can you avoid it?

How do strawberries make children gay? Do they contain a chemical that changes sexual preference? Or is it sexually suggestive in some way that I don't see?

The name Toucan Sam is called that because he is, well, a toucan! SAM could be an acronym for a lot of things such as "Sell a motorcycle" or "Stop all mischief". Or it could just be Sam because Toucan Sam sounds better than Toucan Mike or Toucan Edward.

If you look at the orange part of this toucan's beak near the mouth you shall see that it does somewhat resemble a butt.

Exactly how does a ring shape automaticly symbolize and anus? By that logic you could say that a wedding ring is really a wedding anus or that Jesus wore an anus or thorns on his head before being crucified instead of a crown of thorns. (Before I get attacked for that last sentence let me jus say that I'm not trying to insult Jesus in any way, I'm just trying to show an error in your logic.)
I scarcely understand how you can refute such glaring facts. At least concede that Tony the Tiger's effeminate kerchief is a ploy by the Kellogg Company to turn boys into transvestites.

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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-12-2008, 02:11 AM


Even the unsaved scum who haunt our Godly forum can't disagree that this cereal is an abomination. The radical queers won't be happy until every child takes up the hobby of sodomy.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Talking Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-12-2008, 03:08 AM

Here's one of the early artifacts of cereal perversion:


Kinda sounds like an oxymormon, but you know what that cream refers to, besides gelato.


Ack!
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-13-2008, 04:34 PM

General Mills used to make this heinous cereal:



As if the name "Twinkles" wasn't gay enough, General Mills decided to offer a "tutti-fruiti" variety.



Any parents that purchased this vile breakfast food for their sons might as well have shoved tallywackers up their little backsides as well.
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-13-2008, 05:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneaky Hippo View Post
The reason I asked if it was me or the Doughboy was the devil is that if I assumed you meant it was me someone would have pointed out that it never said me specificly and that I have a guilty consience.
What? What have you got a guilty conscience about? Is it the case that even a hippo as sneaky as you can't defend queer cereals (queereals?) without feeling bad about it?
Quote:
Why would General Mills want to turn children gay? Everyone likes cinnimon rolls regardless of sexual orientation so it wouldn't do much to help buisiness. Or are you suggesting that Satan founded General Mills and it using pastries to corrupt the nations children.
Does that really sound so implausible?
Quote:
I don't see how me saying that the doughboy is meant to remind people of a baby makes me a sicko.
No, it's the fact that you find babies attractive that makes you a sicko, you sick sod!
Quote:
I know that you all hate homosexuals and believe that they are trying to corrupt children but that's only more reason to understand them. If you don't understand their "evil" how can you avoid it?
And that is exactly what Old Man Hatchet was so valiantly trying to do before you flounced in here and started trying to queer the issue!
Quote:



If you look at the orange part of this toucan's beak near the mouth you shall see that it does somewhat resemble a butt.
What? How could you possibly get an anus out of that? You are sick and twisted! Why must you try and read filth into a perfectly innocent bird's beak? What's wrong with you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
As if the name "Twinkles" wasn't gay enough, General Mills decided to offer a "tutti-fruiti" variety.



Any parents that purchased this vile breakfast food for their sons might as well have shoved tallywackers up their little backsides as well.
I dread to think of the injuries that must have resulted from children attempting to emulate that gay blade's fruit-spurting antics.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-13-2008, 05:29 PM

Brother Temperance, I would like your permission to begin using "queereal," although such a clever and wonderfully concise word more than likely came from the Holy Spirit.
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Default Re: The Pillsbury Doughboy - 01-13-2008, 06:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Brother Temperance, I would like your permission to begin using "queereal," although such a clever and wonderfully concise word more than likely came from the Holy Spirit.
Brother, as long as you're confident it won't get you sued by General Mills for copyright infrigement, be my guest.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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