Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Bible Study > Teaching His Word
Reload this Page Beautiful Testimonials Tell Us the Truth: Hell is for Real!
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,077
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Sinner Beautiful Testimonials Tell Us the Truth: Hell is for Real! - 05-09-2018, 04:14 AM

Praise Jesus! Through some beautiful near-death experiences we have new reports about the reality of Hell®, the most effective and admirable invention by God™.

Psalms 9:17
The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

People who by nature were wicked were shown how Jesus punishes those who oppose Him. This is a summary of these timely and heart-warming reports! First, a young boy with bad manners was given leukemia because of his antics (Exodus 9:15). What happened next took the unbeliever community by awe!
Quote:
Tommy Benson has been called many things during his ten years of life. A little prick. A sneaky shit with no manners. A boy who deserves a swift kick in the ass. (...)
But life hasn’t all been fun and games for Tommy. He is currently suffering from leukemia and last week nearly died at Presbyterian Children’s Hospital. For all intents and purposes, he actually did pass away on Tuesday, as Tommy’s doctor, Tim Richards, was prepared to declare the boy dead after several minutes of failed attempts to revive him.

But something amazing happened in that small hospital room with some of Tommy’s family surrounding him. As Dr. Richards was about to announce the death of the boy who had gotten four of his mother’s boyfriends to commit violent crimes just so they could be safely behind bars, Tommy suddenly woke up, more full of life than he had been in months.

And what Tommy had to say shocked everyone.

“[Tommy] explained to all of us that he had visited hell,” Dr. Richards said. “According to him, he met Satan and everything.”
What did this child see?
Quote:
Tommy says it’s truly all the fire and brimstone you’ve been led to believe it is.

“It was really hot,” Tommy said. “I met the devil and he showed me around for a while. He showed me a place where people were getting all kinds of things put into their butts.”

From what Tommy can remember, the items viciously inserted into the anuses of hell’s residents included everything from live animals and red-hot bowling balls to other people who were shrunk down to fit into a butthole, but by no means comfortably.

Tommy’s mother, Susan Benson, remains baffled, but also scared at the event her son experienced.

“I just couldn’t – I can’t – believe what Tommy was telling me,” Susan said. “But he described everything in such vivid detail, right down to Satan’s apparently horned penis.”
We must, obviously, assess this account for its veracity. Of course, eyewitness testimonial is the best kind of proof that always surpasses any observations my microtomes or tellyscopes. But a child as depraved as this Tommy could lie, couldn't he? Let us look at the testimony above! Would a mere child know about the intricacies of anal torture and Satan's penis unless he were an altar boy of a Catholic Cult Temple? And this child was not a Catholic. Catholicism is mostly genetic, and the forefathers of this boy were decent citizens as follows:
Quote:
“Tommy knew things about my father’s white supremacist past that I never would have dared to tell him,” Susan said.


Second, a woman of the lesser sex goes to Hell, too!
Quote:
Angelica Elizabeth Zambrano Mora, aged 18 from Ecuador wrote Prepare to Meet Your God and in it, she talks about being dead for 23 hours and finding herself in hell among many celebrities that include Michael Jackson the singer and Pope John Paul II.
Again, we must consider the truthfulness of her account. Is it reliable? We must employ the Criterion of Embarrassment here. If a Catholic woman (and she must be as she is from the Equator) tells embarrassing facts about their chief cultist the Pope, it must be True™ and if that part of her story is True™, it must be all True™. Of course, everyone knows that Michael Jackson is in Hell so that is no evidence but just common knowledge.
Quote:
The woman said that the Lord had told her that there were many famous people in Hell and many who had known about the Lord and he had said that he was going to show her another part of the furnace. She went on to describe a place and seeing a woman surrounded by flames and she was tormented and begging for mercy from the Lord.
Is this plausible? Yes, it is!

Luke 16:24
And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.

Quote:
The woman said how the Lord had signaled the woman with his hand and said to her you see that woman there in the flames, it is Selena. They then walked closer to the woman and she was shouting and screaming to be shown mercy and to be taken out of the place. The Lord was said to have looked at the woman and said that it was too late to repent.
Such a beautiful account. What does all this teach us?
  • Hell is real!
  • Michael Jackson and many popes are in Hell.
  • Dante did not miss the mark too much when he wrote Divina commedia (he failed in the Purgatory and Heaven department, though). He also noticed popes in Hell.


Luke 16:19-26 tells us that one day in Heaven, we shall be able to stroll on the gently sloping laws and visit the Great Gulf between Heaven and Hell. There we can watch as the unbelievers are eternally tormented without parole. It is going to be such a nice day! Thank you, Lord Jesus, for providing us with quality entertainment for Eternity! Hell.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,050
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Beautiful Testimonials Tell Us the Truth: Hell is for Real! - 05-09-2018, 06:44 AM

I wonder if this rock solid proof will actually convince people that He’ll is real?

But then the only reason to not believe in Jesus is homersexualism so the notion of shoving things up one’s buttockular cleft may be a rallying cry to those sorts

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
demons, flames, hell, luke 16, michael jackson, pope john paul ii, satan, sodomy

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved