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Thumbs up Africa May Be Blessed - Preacher Rebukes Homers - 09-14-2011, 04:49 PM

There are fewer places on God's sweet earth that Jesus has cursed more than that sun-parched land of AIDS and child-rape known as Africa. This is not surprising to True Christians™ for the simple fact that anywhere you have a bunch of naked, tribal worshippers of sticks and stones in mud huts and their albino-hunting cousins and other witch doctor-admiring filth, God's curses are going to be waiting in the wings to do their very worst. Glory!

But as with most sin-laden areas of the world that are not America, there remains a remnant, a select few who fight the tides and choose righteousness of the Lord Jesus over the iniquity of the world. Yes, this is true even among the hot, rat-infested corridors of Africa.

Michael Ssempa is a preacher who lost his mother and sister to AIDS many years ago. As both were harlots who made a pact with Satan, they are now rotting in Hell, but Michael has chosen to dedicate the rest of his life to rebuking homers and their vile, fecal-consuming practices. Uncovering research that suggests that all homers eat poop as a delicacy during and after their God-offending copulation, Ssempas seems to be making great progress on his quest to expose and rid the world of the sin of fudge-packing.

In a move that appears delightfully True Christian™, Brother Ssempa and his congregation have taken a strong stand against the choice of being black and against the wicked lion rapists of Africa and their hell-bound ways. We support Mr. Ssempa and give thanks unto God for his commitment to end the satanic blasphemy of homosexuality.

Ssempa calls for Obama to support the keeping of homers out of Africa while the country brings in a bill that would impose the death penalty for homosexuals caught in the act. Praise!



Pastor Ed Lowman



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Default Re: Africa May Be Blessed - Preacher Rebukes Homers - 09-14-2011, 09:39 PM

Africa's troubles boil down to excessive numbers of homosexuals and witches. I am overjoyed to see they are finally combating these problems.

Shout Glory!


Matthew 23:33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
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Default Re: Africa May Be Blessed - Preacher Rebukes Homers - 09-14-2011, 09:49 PM

This again shows the importance of Christian missionaries. Without Christianity these homos would just be able to walk the streets like normal people. Now they are being rightfully hunted down and punished for their perversion.

Good work missionaries

YiC

Jack


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Default Re: Africa May Be Blessed - Preacher Rebukes Homers - 09-15-2011, 04:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ed Lowman View Post



Pastor Ed Lowman
That jig is a pal of mine, I don't mind telling you. He's a riot.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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