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Talking Blood of Christ Motel Now Offering Complimentary Shoeshines! - 08-17-2019, 09:54 PM

EXCITING NEWS!
Summer's almost over, and if you're planning a last minute vacation, you've got a brand new reason to make a stop at the Blood of Christ Motel!





Glory! The Blood of Christ Motel is thrilled to introduce new complimentary shoeshine services for our guests! Authenticity and quality is guaranteed, as this will be performed by an honest-to-God Negro!


MEET OUR SHOESHINE BOY!


Sit back and let Reggie Washington work his magic! Not literal magic, of course, because Reggie is a Christian! That's right, a colored Christian! Don't that just beat all? After a sinful, wasted lifetime of dealing heroin, playing jazz music, and shucking and jiving, he stopped last week at the Blood of Christ Motel and was personally Saved by the proprietor, and has accepted his place (Genesis 9:25, Ephesians 6:5).


THE GOOD OLD DAYS!

Colored shoeshine boys are unfortunately fast becoming obsolete in the modern world, but at the Blood of Christ Motel, you can experience a genuine bit of old-fashioned Americana! Take a seat and, for a few minutes, find yourself transported back in time to the good old days, when whites and darkies coexisted in peace and harmony.

BIBLICAL FOOTWASHING!

In addition to shoeshines, you can also enjoy a Biblical footwash! Upon request, Reggie will strip naked and put on a towel, pour water into a basin, wash your feet, and then dry them with the towel, just as Jesus commands (John 13:4-5). Re-enact a scene from the Bible itself!


AND IT'S FREE*

Negro shoeshine and Biblical footwashing services are complimentary, and provided to guests for NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE!


* On an unrelated note, our room rates will be increasing by $5.00 per night.


IT DOES A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF GOOD FOR YOU!



BOOK YOUR STAY AT THE BLOOD OF CHRIST MOTEL TODAY!!!




Located on Class B Service Road in Podunk County, Nebraska. The Blood of Christ Motel is not responsible for any lost or stolen property. By the act of paying for a room, you agree that you may be filmed during the course of your stay, and that any resultant footage is the property of Dennis Lukes, owner and proprietor, for whatever purposes he sees fit. You also agree to conduct yourself in accordance with Biblical commandments while on the premises, and note that such acts as adultery (Deuteronomy 22:22), homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22), sabbath breaking (Exodus 31:14), etc., etc., are expressly forbidden and will result in the termination of your stay without refund and the forfeiture of any and all property remaining in your room.


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Default Re: Blood of Christ Motel Now Offering Complimentary Shoeshines! - 08-18-2019, 03:06 AM

I declare, Brother Lukes! You are constantly finding new ways to improve your motel! If my husband and I ever find ourselves your way, we will be looking you up to stay there!


Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Jesus Re: Blood of Christ Motel Now Offering Complimentary Shoeshines! - 08-18-2019, 03:37 PM

Brother Dennis:

I expect your occupancy to go through the roof when this news hits Trip Advisor and other sites. Will I still be guaranteed the Presidential Suite when I am out that way? I just love that houseboy Sergei and the way he says “Da” so politely no matter what I ask him to do. I hope you were able to stop that nasty deportation thing.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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