Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover Baptist Lounge
Reload this Page Looking to expand my resume.
Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Uncle Rutherford's Avatar
Uncle Rutherford Uncle Rutherford is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Christian Love Ex-negro True Christian™ Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Prayer Warrior Prayer Warrior Clorox Cured Me Persecuted Touched by Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 374
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: America!
Uncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Looking to expand my resume. - 02-02-2021, 09:39 PM

As an ex-negro who has unlimited admiration for the White Christian Man whom I believe is a role model all nigras, gooks, and other minorities to follow to get closer to Jesus, I decided to look at my resume and make a list of all the White Christian Men who I have worked for. I count only 12. I decided to post this personal ad looking for work with men who need help within the Freehold community. Pay is not an issue. This is solely to make my resume look better and to give back to the Freehold community. Shovelin? I’ll shovel. Clean your gutters or septic tank? That’s a job I’m an expert at. Pickin the crops at your farm? Do you even need to ask?
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Sons of Liberty Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 8,927
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-03-2021, 12:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
As an ex-negro who has unlimited admiration for the White Christian Man whom I believe is a role model all nigras, gooks, and other minorities to follow to get closer to Jesus, I decided to look at my resume and make a list of all the White Christian Men who I have worked for. I count only 12. I decided to post this personal ad looking for work with men who need help within the Freehold community.
Brother Rutherford, I think you are plotting a good strategy for your career by building a resume of recommendations from white men. However, I'd like to see you build credentials as a True Christian™ at the same time.

For example, I've thinking of a Sin Patrol in Freehold. Those on patrol would look for residents in Freehold and nearby communities committing sin and give them warnings about the hell they face for eternity. There is so much work to do, women wearing provocative clothes, homer hangouts, provocative music, men with gold earrings, the list goes on.

If you think this would interest you please PM me and we will make arrangements.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Dr. Anthony J. Toole's Avatar
Dr. Anthony J. Toole Dr. Anthony J. Toole is offline
An old soul
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Pro-Life Donald Trump 2016! Mission to Messico Touched by Jesus Christian Love Protected by JESUS Teabag Patriot Alternative Facts TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian True Scientist™ Doctor Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! True Christian™ Real American™ True Republican BFF of Jesus Ex-eurotrash True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD The Lord’s Witness Wound Persecuted Prayer Warrior Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Ex-liberal QAnon Storm Chaser Tool of God Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,502
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-03-2021, 03:45 AM

Mr. Mayor is correct as always. I wonder if advice on pie snatching is something Mr. Rutherford could help with. What is the pie snatcher looking for when he's on the prowl; what events lead a man to compulsively snatch pie; what should Landover leadership do to persuade pie snatchers that it is in their best interests to move to another town.


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-03-2021, 08:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
Clean your gutters or septic tank? That’s a job I’m an expert at. Pickin the crops at your farm? Do you even need to ask?
Glory to Jesus! My houseboys are much too delicate to clean and rub my septic tank. You're hired. In compensation, I can increase your tithes to 15% of your income!

Here's the diagram. You can read, can't you?



See the manhole? You'll enter through my manhole and get rid of all the scum and rub it clean! My houseboys - as ready as they are to service my needs - are too afraid to penetrate the manhole and I need a good pair of working hands to fight through the entry. Pax vobiscum or whatever (I'm doing my Pope studies as you can see ).


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Uncle Rutherford's Avatar
Uncle Rutherford Uncle Rutherford is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Christian Love Ex-negro True Christian™ Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Prayer Warrior Prayer Warrior Clorox Cured Me Persecuted Touched by Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 374
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: America!
Uncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-03-2021, 11:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Glory to Jesus! My houseboys are much too delicate to clean and rub my septic tank. You're hired. In compensation, I can increase your tithes to 15% of your income!

Here's the diagram. You can read, can't you?



See the manhole? You'll enter through my manhole and get rid of all the scum and rub it clean! My houseboys - as ready as they are to service my needs - are too afraid to penetrate the manhole and I need a good pair of working hands to fight through the entry. Pax vobiscum or whatever (I'm doing my Pope studies as you can see ).

Oh yes. A fair warning that a clearing will need to be cut through on the surface of your yard to dig into first. Second, will I have access to flush your toilets to get some good flow into your manhole? Having on my resume that I cleaned and serviced Pastor Ezekiel’s pipes are sure to be the shining reference on my resume!!!!!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Uncle Rutherford's Avatar
Uncle Rutherford Uncle Rutherford is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Christian Love Ex-negro True Christian™ Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Prayer Warrior Prayer Warrior Clorox Cured Me Persecuted Touched by Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 374
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: America!
Uncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-03-2021, 11:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Brother Rutherford, I think you are plotting a good strategy for your career by building a resume of recommendations from white men. However, I'd like to see you build credentials as a True Christian™ at the same time.

For example, I've thinking of a Sin Patrol in Freehold. Those on patrol would look for residents in Freehold and nearby communities committing sin and give them warnings about the hell they face for eternity. There is so much work to do, women wearing provocative clothes, homer hangouts, provocative music, men with gold earrings, the list goes on.

If you think this would interest you please PM me and we will make arrangements.
I would be absolutely interested in being a watchdog for the Sin Patrol. Once I clean and service Pastor Ezekiel’s plumbing I will be sure to meet up with you to discuss the details.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Cool Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-05-2021, 02:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
Oh yes. A fair warning that a clearing will need to be cut through on the surface of your yard to dig into first. Second, will I have access to flush your toilets to get some good flow into your manhole? Having on my resume that I cleaned and serviced Pastor Ezekiel’s pipes are sure to be the shining reference on my resume!!!!!
Holy comoley!

My chutes have never been this clean. That was the most thorough extended session to rub all the dirt from my pipes. Faith Machine was never as efficient and his tools never seemed to fit my sewer system as perfectly. And it is astonishing, Unca R-ford, that your skin complexion was the same after exposure to all that filth. I must say that the flow is like in the days of Noah before he was raped by Ham, your ancestor.

If it's OK, I'll send my houseboys to you for some educational sessions. Praise Jesus. Btw, waiting for your tithes still. The jet doesn't pay itself, capische?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Sons of Liberty Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 8,927
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-05-2021, 03:56 PM

Uncle Rutherford--The last thing in the world I want is for the good Pastor's plumbing to go unserviced. But, if you could move that project along and check in with me at City Hall as soon as possible it would be greatly appreciated. There is sin all around us and we need to get started on the Sin Petrol project sooner rather than later.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Uncle Rutherford's Avatar
Uncle Rutherford Uncle Rutherford is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Christian Love Ex-negro True Christian™ Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Prayer Warrior Prayer Warrior Clorox Cured Me Persecuted Touched by Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 374
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: America!
Uncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-05-2021, 03:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Holy comoley!

My chutes have never been this clean. That was the most thorough extended session to rub all the dirt from my pipes. Faith Machine was never as efficient and his tools never seemed to fit my sewer system as perfectly. And it is astonishing, Unca R-ford, that your skin complexion was the same after exposure to all that filth. I must say that the flow is like in the days of Noah before he was raped by Ham, your ancestor.

If it's OK, I'll send my houseboys to you for some educational sessions. Praise Jesus. Btw, waiting for your tithes still. The jet doesn't pay itself, capische?

Oh yes M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel. I owe it to my large tools I own that you can’t find in most places. Some say my large cleaning tools are impressive and that they envy them. I like to laugh it off when they say they envy my large tools and remind them about Exodus 34:14. Feel free to send over them boys. I’ll whip them into shape and show them how to get pipes cleaned EFFICIENTLY. Sounds like they lack discipline and need a whuppin.

As for your tithes, I do believe the Western Union money order I sent last week shows that it’s cleared. If it didn’t, let me know and I’ll send a new one. God Bless you M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel and if your pipes need another cleaning, do let me know!
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Dana723's Avatar
Dana723 Dana723 is offline
Forum member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 766
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Dana723 is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-06-2021, 03:34 PM

I am very proud of you Uncle Rutherford! It's not often you see a Nigra trying to better themselves!


But just remember what the Bible says:


Quote:
Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil. Jeremiah 13:23


Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Uncle Rutherford's Avatar
Uncle Rutherford Uncle Rutherford is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Christian Love Ex-negro True Christian™ Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Prayer Warrior Prayer Warrior Clorox Cured Me Persecuted Touched by Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 374
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: America!
Uncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-06-2021, 08:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
I am very proud of you Uncle Rutherford! It's not often you see a Nigra trying to better themselves!


But just remember what the Bible says:
Ahem!!!!!! I am an EX-NIGRA. If you feel you need further proof, you can take a look at my collection of studies on my heroes Clint Eastwood and Ronald Reagan. And don’t you forget it woman!
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Joanna Lytton-Vasey's Avatar
Joanna Lytton-Vasey Joanna Lytton-Vasey is offline
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
 

Christian Love Heaven Bound Most Obedient True Christian Lady True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club Touched by Jesus Quiverful Cleanest Kitchen Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls One Year/1000 posts The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Grammar Nazi Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico Hands Off Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award In Love With Zeke Pro-Life Ex-eurotrash Persecuted Stamp of Approval Mower Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Crown of Incorruptibility God's chosen ones Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,834
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-06-2021, 08:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
Ahem!!!!!! I am an EX-NIGRA.
Not to mention a True Christian™! Someone, naming no names, is getting above herself here. And as for that verse ... singularly inappropriate in your case, Brother Unc.


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 12,253
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-06-2021, 08:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Not to mention a True Christian™! Someone, naming no names, is getting above herself here. And as for that verse ... singularly inappropriate in your case, Brother Unc.
Well, the verse itself is great, but we need to remember it applies to Ethiopians. Brother Tom, on the other hand, is not Ethiopian but a True American™.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Uncle Rutherford's Avatar
Uncle Rutherford Uncle Rutherford is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Christian Love Ex-negro True Christian™ Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Prayer Warrior Prayer Warrior Clorox Cured Me Persecuted Touched by Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 374
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: America!
Uncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-08-2021, 08:54 PM

My oh my! Ever since word got around that I cleaned out Pastor Ezekiel’s plumbing and septic tank, calls have been coming in left and right asking for appointments for me to come over and clean up their own clogged pipes! I knew I made the right choice! Praise Jesus!!!! I may have Pastor Ezekiel’s tithes in early at this rate!
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-09-2021, 01:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
My oh my! Ever since word got around that I cleaned out Pastor Ezekiel’s plumbing and septic tank, calls have been coming in left and right asking for appointments for me to come over and clean up their own clogged pipes! I knew I made the right choice! Praise Jesus!!!! I may have Pastor Ezekiel’s tithes in early at this rate!
This is nice but you gotta know that my needs come first. That will serve Jesus in the best possible manner as I am the #1 evangelist of His good news. I need you to cater to my requests at least once a week unless a clot blocks my sewers in which case you need to be able to come on a 24/7 basis.

If you continue to grow in godliness in your ex-nigra status, you may one day be more than a footstool in Heaven!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Uncle Rutherford's Avatar
Uncle Rutherford Uncle Rutherford is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Christian Love Ex-negro True Christian™ Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Prayer Warrior Prayer Warrior Clorox Cured Me Persecuted Touched by Jesus Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 374
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: America!
Uncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureUncle Rutherford has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Looking to expand my resume. - 02-09-2021, 01:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
This is nice but you gotta know that my needs come first. That will serve Jesus in the best possible manner as I am the #1 evangelist of His good news. I need you to cater to my requests at least once a week unless a clot blocks my sewers in which case you need to be able to come on a 24/7 basis.

If you continue to grow in godliness in your ex-nigra status, you may one day be more than a footstool in Heaven!
After careful consideration and this GODLY WHITE MAN’s kind words, I have decided that it would be best to cancel all of the other service calls (I haven’t cleaned any pipes since yours just so you know) and keep myself available for M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel’s pipe-cleaning needs. There’s something about cleaning his septic tank that I found....enjoyable. And yes, you are indeed the #1 evangelist of his good news M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved